melz world

Life thus far

2011-08-31T05:36:00.005-05:00

Summer is almost over. Well, for all intents and purposes in the Turner household, it IS over, and HAS BEEN over for weeks now - we started school on August 4.

Totally, completely ridiculous.

I don't know if it's getting older, or our recent move, but I've become such a homebody lately. Seriously. Right now, if I could have a couple of days where I didn't have to leave the house at all, that would be just about the best thing ever.

Yeah, I know. Not gonna happen.

I have been busy this summer, so here's a slight recap of the shenanigans and goings-on around here.

* Did I mention we moved? Because I can't remember if I ever did, and it's not even 6 a.m. yet and I don't feel like going back through my blog to check. We bought a house from my aunt that's next door to my parents (Gramma next door? Can I get a "WHAT WHAT!"). It's really a blessing that we did when we did, because two weeks after we moved my dad had emergency quintuple (that's FIVE to you non-math folks) bypass surgery and it's been great to be right next door during his recovery.

* This house has inspired me to go a completely different direction in my decorating. It's laid out differently than my last home,and we're in the woods (quite literally) so it's gaining more of a cottage vibe. I've become OBSESSED with home decor blogs and Pinterest, and probably need a second Google Reader account just to keep up.

The great thing about this style is, it can be VERY inexpensive. Many of the things I've gotten have been from Goodwill, or repainting/altering things I already had. It looks like things were gathered instead of just gone out and shopped. And that's a good thing, for my budget and my decorating!

* I started a Life Group (what we call our small groups) at church called Deal Seeking Divas! We have a Facebook group where we share deals back and forth, and I've set up a coupon exchange folder in my office at church. In the coming months, we're going to be using our frugality to help those who are in need, and I can't wait!

* I joined another Life Group, a book club for readers of inspirational fiction. My friend (and a FABULOUS writer) Jesse is heading it up, and I have a feeling it's going to be great! I've already read some thought-provoking stuff. Our discussions should be very interesting!

Ahh, summer. I'm going to miss you, 100 degrees and all. Promise you won't be gone long?

So, that's what's up with me. What's been up with y'all?

Thankfully...

2011-06-22T15:17:00.003-05:00

As many times as I've found myself stranded on the side of the road, I really should have a tag just for those posts.

Or maybe, a whole blog dedicated to them. Something along the lines of “Unexpected pit stops on the highway of life.”

Yesterday morning, I was driving to work with Anna Marie in tow, and as I got to the last exit in our county my car started making a horrible, very bad, no good noise.

Thankfully, I had time to get off at that exit, because there was about eight miles of open highway (and a long bridge with no shoulder) between me and the next acceptable stop.

Even Anna Marie could tell something was wrong, as I got off the exit ramp and turned to go to the gas station on the other side of the highway.

Thankfully, I was able to make it to the station. I haven't always been so fortunate.

I've been stuck in many, many places in my life. On the sides of roads, at rest areas, and once, when I was engaged, Jason and I spent several hours at a Walmart in Alabama waiting on my parents.

Not the most fun I've ever had, let me assure you.

Yesterday was a sale day at the auction where Jason runs the cafeteria, and I knew he couldn't leave the kitchen. I called my dad, who said he was already almost to the auction – half an hour away. He said he'd drop my mom off and come down to see about us.

Judging by prior experience, I was just sure it was the transmission. It's not like it would be the first time I'd had a transmission go out on me while driving down the interstate (or while entering a shopping center parking lot, for that matter.) I called Jason to apprise him of the situation, trying to stay brave and positive (and not feeling like I was doing a particularly good job at either.)

Thankfully, I was able to go inside the gas station and use the “facilities” (because I've had to go in the great outdoors on previous “unscheduled” stops), get Anna Marie the snack she was asking for (because I had the funds to do so) and let the cashier know why my car might be parked outside for a little while longer than most customers.

I sent a text to our Senior Associate Pastor to let him know I'd be a wee bit late. He called me back to ask if he needed to come see about us, and thankfully I was able to tell him we were fine.

Thankfully, the sun was shining, and Anna Marie was occupied with her Cheeze-its and Nintendo DS, and we passed the time until my dad arrived. I have had to come up with ways to entertain her myself on these “adventures,” so I was most appreciative of her handheld video games.

Jason informed me that our new auto insurance included roadside assistance, so I called to have a wrecker sent to tow the car back home.

Thankfully, when my dad arrived, he diagnosed the problem as “busted exhaust pipe” and not “transmission,” which is a whole dilly of a lot easier and cheaper to fix. He did advise me not to drive the car until it was fixed, so as not to asphyxiate myself or my passengers.

The nice lady at the insurance company called back to say a wrecker would be two hours in coming. “You don't have to be with the vehicle, you can just leave the keys inside,” she said.

“Lady, this station isn't known as the 'Stop and Rob' around here for nothing,” I thought. But what I actually said was, “Well, I live in the woods, and my house is hard to find. My dad says we can drive it home since it's only about 10 miles, so that's what we're going to do. But thanks anyway!”

We removed our valuables, locked the car, prayed over it, and headed to the rest of our day.

After work, Jason came by to pick me up and we met my parents for dinner. (Thankfully, my mom was well stocked with buy one, get one free coupons!) She, Anna Marie, and I stopped for Baskin Robbins kiddie cones, while my dad and Jason headed to pick up my car.

He called me a little while later, laughing.

“I don't know what you're complaining about. People pay a lot of money to have their cars sound like this.”

Haha, dear. Very funny. For one, I don't want my car to sound like I have a glass-pack muffler. For another, yeah, asphyxiation. THAT.

Thankfully, I do have another vehicle to drive while we get this all sorted out, which has not always been the case.

As I travel this highway of life, I know there will be unexpected stops along the way. Not only do I have a responsibility before God to keep a right attitude, I also have a little passenger along for the ride who is watching everything I do, every reaction I have, and those lessons will color how she reacts when her own life runs into the inevitable speed bump or two.

Thankfully, my car was safe, we were safe, and I was able to have some hope before I ever got into the van with my dad.

Thanking God daily for every little thankfully He helps us find in the midst of our trials...

Suddenly...

2011-06-17T09:39:00.003-05:00

Ok, so I totally had this whole, long post typed yesterday about how that I'm a living double-standard.

And then, a massive storm hit, and I hadn't saved (I was typing in Word, mistake #1) and I lost it.

Dude.

See, I ran into some frustrations yesterday which brought home a very important point to me. I am at once very impatient, and a horrible procrastinator.

I'm an enigma wrapped in a mystery.

Dipped in chocolate. Yummy, dark chocolate.

My car has developed an oil leak. We know what the problem is, and Jason has had the parts to fix it for over a year. Every week or so, my "low oil" light comes on, reminding me to check my levels, which are nearly always about a quart low. Usually, this happens at a really inconvenient time, like when I'm on my way to work, and I have to stop and buy a quart or two.

That's where I found myself yesterday. I stopped at a store in town and picked up a couple of quarts, only to have my debit card denied when I tried to pay for them.

I paid with a check, and proceeded to call Jason to vent my frustration. Frustration at having to stop, again, and it making me late for work. Frustration at having to put a Bandaid on a problem he could fix permanently. Frustration at having my debit card denied.

His phone, of course, went straight to voice mail. Luckily, my parents live next door, so I could call my mom and have her walk over to my house, so I could unleash the full fury of my frustration on Jason via her phone.

As I drove to work, plotting how I could pull my car into my dad's shop and figure out how to fix the problem myself, a thought began to trickle into my head:

I'm a tad impatient.

If I need something fixed, or help from someone, I want it NOW. Not next week, and probably not even tomorrow. I expect nothing less than instant gratification from those around me.

I don't know how I got this way, honestly. As the oldest of four children in a house where there was often more month than money, I wasn't accustomed to getting my wants fulfilled instantly. I think somewhere, that might have developed in me some trust issues, which cause me to believe that if something isn't done right away, it's not going to get done.

Or maybe I'm just overthinking this a tad.

On the other hand, I am an extreme procrastinator. I've lost count of how many times I've stopped in the writing of this post and done other things, like stare intently off into space or check to make sure my fingernails are clean.

I am the Queen of Time Wasting. The Internet is both the best, and the worst thing to ever happen to me.

Too, too often I wait until the last minute to do something, and end up having to rush and stressing myself out much more than necessary.

I.am.pitiful.

How did I get to be this way? I have no idea. The worst part is, I'm like this with God too. There are things I've been asking Him to do for years, and some I've been praying about for just a few months (but even that seems like a lifetime) and still, no answer. There are situations in my life I need to be settled, and there are deadlines, but still...I wait.

Impatiently.

I seem to forget that God is a God of "suddenly."

Type that word into a search on a Bible site like biblegateway.com, and you'll find a LOT of results. There are so many instances in the Word where God does things suddenly, right on time, in just the perfect way.

One of those is in 2 Chronicles 29. It's the story of how Hezekiah repaired and restored the temple and how the people prepared themselves to serve and worship there. It ends with these words:

So the service of the LORD's temple was established. Then Hezekiah and all the people rejoiced over how God had prepared the people, for it had come about suddenly.

So maybe, that's where my dual natures come into play. Maybe, I should be in preparation mode, so that I'm ready for my "suddenly" to come about. Maybe, my procrastination is making me my own worst enemy.

I've seen so many other "suddenlys" this year. I worked at the same place for eight years, and suddenly, I'm in a completely different environment. I lived in the same house for seven years, and suddenly I'm buying another one and moving.

I'm beginning to think that's why I lost that other post, because this one is going in a totally different direction than the one I'd typed yesterday.

Lord, give me strength to prepare myself, so I'm ready for you - suddenly.

Kroger Shakedown (and BIG news!)

2011-06-11T09:40:00.001-05:00

Whew! What a crazy couple of weeks it’s been around here. This week was nice and quiet, which was exactly what I needed after dealing with two funerals last week, scheduled within two hours of each other. I’ve been grocery shopping, yes, but last week we were forced – FORCED – to eat out way more than I would have liked because of all that was going on. This week, Anna Marie was away at camp in Oklahoma for four days, so I didn’t need to get much. So I didn’t get much, and I spent the rest of my grocery budget on a new outfit at Target! That’s what I call smart shopping!

Also, I have to admit I’ve found Kroger’s deals to be a bit lackluster. I guess I’m just living to stock up at their Mega Event sales, and there hasn’t been one of those in a few weeks. Oh, well. That’s part of the beauty of stockpiling: you get to the point where you’re “cherry picking” many weeks and spending even less!

Here’s my rundown for the week:

1 lb. strawberries
3.19 lbs. bananas
1 double-roll 12 pack of Quilted Northern bath tissue ($2.99!)
1 bottle Wishbone dressing
1 package Strawberry Newtons
5 Michalina’s frozen dinners (68 cents each!)
1 package of Bic Soleil disposable razors
1 bottle KC Masterpiece BBQ sauce

Total before coupons/savings: $34.95
Total after coupons/savings: $16.88
Total savings: $18.07 (54%)

Not one of my big blow-out weeks, to be sure, but since it was just the two of us at home we just kind of snacked around for meals. Now she’s back, and it’s back to normal. Or at least, what’s normal for us!

The dinners are for Jason or me to have for lunch - I got the Lean Gourmet kind, don't fret - the strawberries have gone in my cereal each morning, and the dressing will be taken to my Life Group meeting (along with more I have in my pantry that I got for super cheap) this Sunday. And who would turn down a 99 cent package of razors? Not me!

Oh, and before I forget, BIG news: I’ll be conducting my first COUPON CLASS! Yes, if you’re local to the Mid-South area, I’ll be speaking at the Women’s Ministry meeting at my church, Cornerstone (we call it GNO, or Girls Night Out) on Tuesday, June 14 at 6:30 p.m. It’s part of a night called Thrifty Living, and we’ll also have other financial pointers like how to shop at yard sales. We’ll have coffee and dessert, and probably (hopefully) laugh our faces off.

The church is located at 5998 Elmore Road in Southaven, Miss. You can either Google it, or email me for more information!

(And if you aren’t in our area, say a little prayer for me…)

A book review! And a giveaway! Huzzah!

2011-06-10T09:20:00.002-05:00

Well, howdy-do. I’ve been on a blogging hiatus as things have gotten a bit hectic in Melz World lately, but I come to bring you good news of great joy: I’m back, and this time with a book review (and a giveaway! Huzzah!)

A couple of months ago, I was asked to review the book First Time Dad by John Fuller. What, you say? You’re not a dad, and your kid is almost a decade old? I know, I know. There’s no denying the truth. But, I thought it might be an opportunity to help those who ARE both dads and new to this whole parenting thing to get a good head start on raising great kids.

So many parenting books focus on moms, but we really shouldn’t neglect the impact fathers have on their children. Whether they realize it or not, their influence matters a great deal to how their kids will turn out, for better or worse.

The book was an easy read. Most of the chapters are 10 pages or less, which meant I could digest it in easy segments. I abhor books with really long chapters, because I have such a short attention span that I lose interest in the chapter before it’s finished. Not a problem here!

Fuller is a father of six (!) children, some of whom have already left home. In the book, he shares what he’s learned about dealing with your child’s unique personality, being intentional about instilling your values, how to support your wife as a new mom, and, most importantly, the value of time in relation to raising your kids.

I know for us, when Anna Marie was an infant, Jason’s job at the church meant he was gone a lot. I felt many times that, since I took her to work with me during the day and he was gone to meetings or other functions at night, I shouldered a lot (maybe too much) of the responsibility of rearing her. I also think we could have done a better job of being intentional about teaching her some things. This book encourages dads to be present for their kids and wife, and to invest in their future while they’re still wee small babies.

I’d recommend this for any dad, whether a first-timer or not. And guess what – they sent me an extra copy to give away! It would make a great Father’s Day present for someone who’d just had their first child or is expecting one in the near future. Or, really any dad of small kids.

Just leave a comment here by 5 p.m. Central time on Monday, June 13, telling me a favorite memory you have of your dad or a father-figure in your life. I’ll pick a random winner and you’ll have your book in time for Father’s Day!

Good luck!

Armadillo Tails

2011-05-19T06:25:00.005-05:00

Yeah, you read that right. Not tales. TAILS.

As in, one of my dogs, right now, is carting around the back shell and tail of an armadillo in his mouth, and it's creeping me OUT.

It all started Tuesday, when I posted to Facebook that "any day without a dead possum in the yard is a good day." Because, yes, we've had a spate of those, thanks in part to our wonderful canine companions.

My sister responded and asked if armadillos counted, because if so, all bets were off. I didn't realize how serious she was until I got home that night, and Anna Marie and my mother told me the tale of coming home from school and seeing the dogs playing - PLAYING - with the carcass of an armadillo. EEEK!

(And yes, someone has enlightened me to the connection between those animals and leprosy. And it's not helping the creep factor, let me just tell you.)

When Jason came home, he disposed of it like he does most things they drag up - by getting a shovel and throwing it into the cow pasture next door. Because we're good neighbors like that. But apparently, the dogs are able to get back there under the fence because remnants of the beast appeared back on the front lawn that night.

Once again, we tried to dispose of it.

Later that night, after Jason and AM had gone to bed, I heard a ruckus outside and looked to see that same object on the front porch. I start screaming uncontrollably, but does anyone get up out of bed to see about me? NO.

(But that's another post for a different day, my friends.)

Our male dog, Lucky, was a rescue dog. I happen to know how he came to the shelter, because he belonged to a man I knew who had passed, whose wife had cancer and couldn't care for him or their other dog so she surrendered them. The other dog had a tumor and was put down, but we adopted Lucky. He's a great dog, but he's got this habit - when you come near him, he picks up something - anything and brings it to you.

It could be a food bowl, or a stick, or a bone he's found - but he never shows up empty-mouthed.

Tuesday night on the porch, he was headed straight for the armadillo. I knew what his little doggie mind was thinking, and scolded him to stay away.

Then, I got desperate. I couldn't stand the thought of them messing with that thing all night, so I went into the kitchen and grabbed some hot sauce - and from four feet away, I flung it towards the remains, screaming at the dogs to stay away all the while.

It worked, at least for a bit, because much later when I checked it was still in the same spot. I was NOT going to stumble around in the dark of night to find the shovel and try to dispose of it myself! I figured that Jason could do his manly duty and get it done in the morning.

By morning, though, I guess either the hot sauce had worn off, of they decided they liked the taste of it, because it was back in the yard. Again.

Again, it was disposed of, or so I thought.

Again, after another ruckus just now, I checked and Lucky was defending our property from some dogs who live around the corner. When I called him, he came running - and ran straight for the armadillo shell, which was lying in the yard. Again.

Sigh.

I wonder how long it takes armadillo shell to burn to a pile of ashes? Because at this point, I'm thinking cremation is the only way to go.

Kroger Shakedown! (And other things...)

2011-05-10T17:44:00.002-05:00

Well, Gentle Reader, let me just say that it's good to be back in the land of the blogging.

As Blogger is helpful to point out, my last post was April 27 - nearly a fortnight ago, during the terrible, no good, horrible storms we were having. Rest assured, neither my person nor my property is in any danger of being overtaken my the Mississippi River, but that doesn't stop me from being in awe of how much the river has swollen in the last few days.

Anyway.

Point of business: I started a job at my church in February, and last week we hosted all of the Assemblies of God pastors from the state of Mississippi in a four-day conference. And as a result of not being home for basically four nights until around 10 p.m., I did not go grocery shopping last week - I didn't have time, and since we weren't home, I didn't see the point. We needed that money to eat out on! But this week, I hit it HARD, and my normal $30-$40 range went all the way up slightly past $50 in response. I also went to Kroger twice, because after my original trip on Sunday we stopped by two stores to find Anna Marie a replacement nunchuck for her Wii and I couldn't get any refrigerated stuff.

Also, I had to buy two big (for me) purchases this week: paper towels, and coffee. Good grief - the original price on the Maxwell House was $14? WHO PAYS THAT FOR COFFEE? Obviously, not me!

I also stopped by Aldi a few minutes ago, to stock up on ground turkey and turkey meatballs, something I either can't get anywhere else or can't get as cheaply, even on sale.

So, here we go.

Kroger trip #1 (on Sunday)
1 8-pack of Bounty paper towels
1 box of Krusteaz pancake mix (free with a coupon Kroger sent me, but it also counted toward my Mega Event total)
2 bottles of Kraft Mayo
1 bottle of Kraft BBQ sauce (which I got for FREE, thanks to a better-than-expected coupon)
2 bags of Quaker Quakes
2 bottles of Kraft salad dressing
1 pack of gum (the only thing, out of many, that Anna Marie asked for that I granted her)
4.81 lbs of just-ripe bananas, marked down to .39 a lb.
2 boxes of Ronzoni pasta
1 canister of Maxwell House
1 box of Betty Crocker cake mix (also free with a Kroger coupon)
1 box of Nature Valley granola bars (free with a Kroger coupon)
1 box of Cocoa Krispies

Total before coupons/sales: $68.58
Total after coupons/sales: $28.59
Total savings: $39.99 (60%)

Kroger trip #2 (Tuesday)
8 cups of Dannon Greek Yogurt (the only kind that Anna Marie eats these days)
4 cans of Red Gold seasoned tomatoes
4 cans of Kroger brand Italian seasoned tomato paste (which I combine with the tomatoes to make my "homemade" spaghetti sauce)

Total before coupons/savings: $17.89
Total after coupons/savings: $10.01
Total savings: $7.88 (46%)

Aldi trip (Tuesday)
1 box of Aldi's brand of Kashi cereal
1 bag vegetable crisps
1 bag baked chips
2 lbs. frozen ground turkey
1 bag turkey meatballs

Total: $11.71

So, yeah, I spent a little more than I normally would have on groceries this week, but 1. I hadn't been in two weeks, and 2. I was out of several staples, like the paper towels, coffee, and turkey.

Now that my pantry and freezer are sufficiently stocked, we can sit back, relax, and watch the river recede.

Rain, rain, go away...

2011-04-27T12:54:00.000-05:00

The view out my office window for the past several days.

If I had a dime for everytime the word "Ark" or "Noah" appeared in my Facebook news feed, well, I'd be sitting on a beach in Tahiti right now instead of wishing the rain away.

Rain.

RAAAAAIIIIIN.

I am pretty sure the ground must be super saturated right now. I know my tolerance for thunderstorms and tornado warnings is! In the past two months, we've had to vacate our office THREE times due to the sirens.

(Of course, we spend the time standing in front of a wall of glass, watching the storm.)

My yard? Looks like a river runs through it. I have no idea where poor Delta spent last night - the other two (apparently more intelligent) dogs bedded down on the front porch, where it was safe and dry. Delta hasn't been seen since last night.

It makes me SAD to think about her in the storms all alone!

Anna Marie has ended up in my bed, due to the storms, for the past several nights. You'd be surprised how small a king sized bed can be with two adults and a nine-year-old! I don't even remember when she climbed in last night. I am tired and sore, from having to contort myself to accommodate her twisting and turning. Oh, my kingdom for a full night's sleep!

I'm glad I have a frozen dinner in the fridge here, because there is no way I'm getting out in this mess. No way. No how.

The weather folks tell us that this will move out this afternoon. I'll believe it when I see it. They already weren't forecasting severe weather for this morning, but another warning was just issued for my area.

Rain.

RAAIIIIINNNNN.

We'd better be getting some massive May flowers out of all this.

A very Good Friday indeed

2011-04-25T20:08:00.004-05:00

Yes, I know there are two inherent problems with this post.

1. It isn't Good Friday, or any Friday for that matter. It's Monday.

2. I posted another post before this one, thus getting me out of sync and possibly ripping a hole in the space-time continuum.

(Or maybe just opening up the Pandorica. Yep, Dr. Who started a new season this weekend! Huzzah!)

But, it was such a good, Good Friday, I felt it needed to be documented. And since I didn't take a single, solitary photo all day, I'm having to rely on the kindness of strangers.

And Flickr.

Like this one:

This, my friends, is The Soul Fish Cafe.

mmmmmm

You see, I had the day off on Friday, for the first time in, oh, about nine years. And Anna Marie had school on Good Friday for the first time in her whole life, thanks to the massive number of snow days this year. The closer it got to Friday, the more resentful I became of the thought that I was going to have to get up early on my DAY OFF to get her to school. And since it was just a 60% day, I hatched a plan.

We played hooky. Don't tell anyone, m'kay?

I have never, ever asked her to stay home from school - and she did take some convincing. But when I told her we could spend the day with Aunt Manda, and spend the Burke's Books gift certificate Aunt Manda had gotten her, well, that was all the reason she needed to skip school.

(Editor's note: She has not missed a single day of school this year, except for getting checked out early in February when my dad was having open heart surgery. She said we had already messed up her perfect attendance streak with that one.)

We met Amanda and her friend Clark at Soul Fish, and I guess I don't have to tell you what type of food a place with a name like that has.

Slap yo mama food, that's what.

And for dessert - oh, for dessert we introduced Jason to one of the wonders of the modern world. YoLo.

(OOOH. I guess I told a story. I did take one picture on Friday.)

YoLo is one of those really dangerous places, because they weigh the yogurt after you self-serve. No good can ever come of someone with a scale and my food. I'm just sayin.

And you don't even want to know how much Anna Marie's yogurt cost. Trust me.

And then, we went to Burke's Books and let her browse. She spent a wee bit more than her certificate, but she was able to successfully talk Jason into fronting her a few more dollars.

(It didn't hurt that he bought himself a book, either. Seems he can't get the Kindle App to work on his phone, so he has to do things the old-fashioned way.)

We took Amanda back to Soul Fish, where she'd left her van, and took a little side trip to Lit, a local restaurant supply store. And who should appear? Why Amanda, of course! I had no idea, but apparently she'd told Jason she was coming. I think I liked being surprised better!

I don't even think I can put into words what a perfect day it was turning out to be. The weather was PERFECT. And then, you know how sometimes you go into a store, and the music is totally offensive and you want to get out of there as fast as possible?

They were playing soul music in Lit! I don't know if it was our local soul station (because we're in Memphis, so of course we have one) or a subscription service, but when I heard Al Green - man, I could have stayed in that store all day! It just totally set the mood for the kind of day we were having, running errands to special, Memphis-centric places.

Just. Perfect.

Unfortunately, we did have to leave and make our way back home. We stopped at JC Penney, and ran into about half a dozen families from our church - including our Senior Pastors. I love my church peeps, and it makes me happy to run into them in public!

We totally were taking over that Penny's store.

I felt so blessed by the time we got home. I haven't had a day like that in a long, long time - or maybe, ever. It reminded me how much I love springtime, and MEMPHIS, and hanging out with Jason, AM, and Amanda.

Overwhelmingly blessed.

The price has been paid

2011-04-24T05:25:00.003-05:00

I saw this sign at the gas station a couple of weeks ago, and I had to laugh. (Which was odd, since pumping gas rarely puts me in a laughing mood!) Because, yes, my gym membership probably has filed a missing persons report.

I know. I KNOW. Due to some changes in my life circumstances of late, I've not made it into the gym since, oh, before Christmas. My best intentions at schedule change have failed miserably, and I'm left with the overriding guilt that I've turned into one of those people, who pay for a membership to a gym which they never use.

But...

Yesterday, as I was driving around town, I passed the gym of which I am a member. And a thought occurred to me: the price has already been paid.

It doesn't matter that I haven't been through those doors in four months. I could, right now, scan my key and have full access to all the benefits of membership.

Because every month, they're still deducting $15 from my checking account. The price has already been paid.

And then, another thought occurred to me: that's the way salvation is. It doesn't matter who you are, where you've been, or what you've been doing that you haven't "walked through the door." The price has already been paid.

It doesn't matter if you walked through the doors of the church a long time ago and never came back, or you keep "meaning to go" one Sunday but don't.The price has already been paid.

Any time. Any day. Any where. You can "scan your card" - accept His offer of forgiveness - and receive access to all the benefits of "membership."

He doesn't care what's kept us away - He just knows how much better our lives will be once we take receive Him.

What a lovely thought for Easter!

"It was not a haphazard event, or a secondary scheme, but it was the plan of the Lord to redeem" - The Winans

Lukewarm

2011-04-22T08:13:00.000-05:00

Lukewarm…

I don’t know anyone who likes that word. Who would? Who would like something that’s too cold to be hot, and too hot to be cold? Although some dishes taste just fine lukewarm, many don’t. I know my mother is a STICKLER for food temperature, and has no qualms about sending something back to the kitchen to be “warmed up in the microwave for a few seconds.”

True story.

One morning recently, I was in a condition I can only describe as “bleary-eyed.” As in, I hadn’t rested well the night before, and I could barely hold my eyes open. My usual morning routine includes reading a few verses out of the Bible, and then having some prayer. But I knew that this morning, I was not going to get much out of a DIY study. Ever have one of those times, when you’re so tired (or distracted…) that you get to the end of a passage – whether in the Bible or a magazine article – and think, “What did I just read?”

Well, that’s where I found myself that morning.

I turned on my computer, and logged on to the Proverbs 31 Ministries website. I read the devotion for that day, but I didn’t think the verse applied to me. The title of the post was “The Unsaved Christian.”

Nope, doesn’t sound like me.

The verse was found in Isaiah 29:13, “The Lord says: ‘These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men.’”

No, not me either.

I had to go into work early to set up for a meeting, and I was flipping stations on the radio and came across the now-deceased pastor of a very, very large congregation in our area. I stopped on the broadcast, and heard the SAME verse from Isaiah as I’d read earlier in the morning, but used in a different context. He coupled it with the passages out of Revelation about churches being lukewarm – neither hot nor cold – and a different word immediately sprang to mind.

Room temperature.

It’s basically the same thing, isn’t it? It isn’t hot. It isn’t cold. It’s just room temperature.

How does something get to that state we call “room temperature?” By adjusting to the environment around it.

You heard me.

That’s how we become room temperature in our relationship with God – lukewarm, if you will – by not affecting the environment around us, but by letting it affect us.

As I listened to that pastor that morning, his words rang in my ears.

“You don’t commit adultery, but you laugh at raunchy jokes.”
Ouch.

“You don’t tell big lies, but you tell little white lies like telling someone you can’t stand that you’re glad to see them.”

Yowza.

Lord, don’t let me become like that room temperature coffee in my cup this morning, that when I topped it off with hot liquid turned that into a tepid mess. Don’t let those “little things” that I think don’t mean much eat away at my passion for You, making me think that good enough is good enough.

Because it isn’t.

Not hot. Not cold. Just lukewarm.

Room temperature.

Life with [hogs]

2011-04-21T05:37:00.004-05:00

(Technically, I guess these aren't hogs, are they? They're more along the line of "pigs." However, since my recent post was entitled "Life with dogs" I decided to continue the theme. Impressive, huh?)

(But I digress.)

So, what would you think if your mom sent you the following, cryptic text message one afternoon:

"Pigs are here. Call."

Wow. Um, yeah. Call, I did.

It seems that some of the livestock out back (which includes alpacas, a donkey, some goats, and who knows what else) were now, out front. In my mom's yard.

(My friend Jesse has instructed me to make a joke about Legion, but I'm not really sure how. So, I'm inserting it here.)

I told her (from experience, I knew this) that she needed to call the Sheriff's Department. There are no animal control laws in the unincorporated areas of the county, so the law couldn't do anything forceful - but they could help locate the owner. No one lives on that property - they only keep their animals there, and come through every couple of days to feed them and check on them.

Except, no one had apparently done that in a few days, because some neighbors told mom that they'd seen the pigs sauntering around the day before. That leads me to know two things:

1. Whoever is supposed to be taking care of those animals, probably isn't, and

2. We have lazy, lazy neighbors who apparently don't care that there are farm animals wandering around their homes, because NO ONE had called the authorities.

Ahem.

When I got home, no one in my neck of the woods had called either, so I took it upon myself to do so. I found two LARGE adults (one of them obviously nursing piglets) and five babies. They were tearing up my mother's yard, looking for acorns, and tormenting my poor dogs.

The dispatcher was asking me all sorts of questions, like "Who do they belong to? Who owns the property?" And so on, and so on...

Um, if I knew the answer to any of those questions, I would not be calling!

They sent a deputy out. He attempted to figure out who the land (and, by extension, the pigs) belonged to. In the end, he told my dad that he was free to shoot the swine if he felt the need to - the officer can't, because, again, NO animal control laws means he has NO authority.

My dad, just having had open heart surgery, was reluctant to shoot. Also, we pondered who would dispose of two huge adults and five babies once they were dispatched!

(Although, I'm sure Jason would not have minded setting up a spit and smoking a whole hog, in the yard, for Easter.)

I wish I had some grand, glorious ending to this saga. Really, I do. I'm assuming the owner was located, because I haven't seen anymore pre-bacon wandering around. I can only hope so - my three hunters haven't brought back any little piggies, unlike the dead possum they kept retrieving a few weeks ago.

Yuck.

Until I find out for sure, I'm keeping my eye out for any wayward, curly tails.

P.S. My mother (great caretaker that she is) allowed Anna Marie to get this close to those things with her video camera, but I haven't laid hold of any of her top secret swine footage.

Life with dogs

2011-04-16T08:54:00.000-05:00

Not pictured: Lucky, The World's Most Patient Male

Life with dogs means...

...you have an escort around your property, ready to protect you from the odd squirrel or snake...

...you spend a small fortune in food, medicine, and vet bills every year, to make sure they're healthy...

...you have an instant alarm system, ready to sound if something - be it animal, vegetable, or mineral - comes into their "personal space"...

...you find them on warm, sunny afternoons, stretched out napping, but they snap to attention at the sound of your footsteps...

...you can hear their tails beating rhythmically against the side of the house as they wait for you to emerge each morning...

...you always have a buddy ready and waiting for a game of fetch...

...you never know WHAT "present" will greet you on your doorstep when you get up in the morning...

...and, evidently, it means that, if an envelope with some cash in it happens to fly out of your purse on a windy day, one of them is going to make a meal out of a $20 bill and you'll never (want to) see it again.

These observations brought to you by Lucky, Delta, and Annie Turner.

The lies we're told

2011-04-13T05:47:00.002-05:00

I find myself wondering sometimes, many times...

Does Satan lie to men, as much as he does women? Or are we just more gullible and buy into his deceit more easily?

I am constantly amazed when I hear what he's been telling us women, and at how much we'd rather believe that about ourselves than the truth. Although, I don't know why - it's not like I haven't fallen prey to it myself.

I worked a women's event once, and I was just appalled at what those precious women shared - not because it was scandalous, but because I was struck by the lies. Horrible, horrible lies about who we are, who we aren't and what other people are thinking about us.

All lies.

He tells us that we aren't good enough, that our efforts for ourselves, our families, and the Kingdom are never enough. He tells us that other people are judging us, talking about us, and keeping score of our every mistake.

Sometimes, they are. More often than not, they aren't

Relationships are broken, or never formed in the first place. Homes are hindered. Women never reach their full, God-given potential because we're so bogged down by the lies.

It's an amazing, empowering thing to watch the scales fall off. I know - it's happened to me, and I've seen it happen to others. I've seen the lies of the enemy be destroyed by the light of God's truth, and it's beautiful. It's freeing. When we throw off the shackles of defeat and despair that have been clamped down on us, we feel like we could run a marathon.

Ok, well, maybe a half-marathon. Or a 5K. Perhaps just once around our house.

Ladies (and men, if you're still reading this far) it's time for the lies to end. It's time to see ourselves as God created us, to confront the lies with the truth, and to stop living bound up by that voice whispering in our ear.

What lies will you stop believing today?

A person without self-control...

2011-04-12T09:17:00.003-05:00

...is like a city with broken-down walls. (Prov. 25:27-28)

It's our custom on Sunday afternoons during lunch to ask Anna Marie what she learned in Kids Church that morning. Sometimes, her memory is right on, and she can tell me the verse right off the bat.

Sometimes, we have to extrapolate what the lesson was about because all she can remember is the object lesson.

One Sunday a few months ago was one of those "steel trap" days. She quoted the verse with no problem.

"A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls."

Oooh. That's a good one. We talked about what the verse means: how that, just like a city (in Biblical times, at least) was left open to all sorts of calamities when its walls were in disrepair, so too we open ourselves up to problems when we don't exercise self-control.

No self-control in the eating department = bigger pants.

No self-control with our tongues = hurt feelings and misunderstandings.

No self-control with our finances = overspending, debt, and sometimes bankruptcy.

No self-control at school = lost recess.

She told me a few nights ago that this verse has really stuck with her, and that it helped her curb her unnecessary talking in the classroom.

I was thinking about this verse on the way to work this morning. I'd actually been thinking about it in relation to several things I'd been exposed to lately, and then I heard a news report about a woman who, as a child, developed a habit for eating foam from couch cushions.

Yes, you read that right. Couch cushions.

She has been eating foam daily for over 20 years, and recently had to be hospitalized because she had a grapefruit-sized blockage in her digestive track. Made of foam.

"A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls."

I see it nearly every day in the media - on the internet - and on Facebook.

Especially on Facebook.

If you are one of my Facebook friends, you might notice that I go several days at a time without updating my status. It isn't that I don't have anything to say - but I would rather not say anything at all, than to post something (just for the sake of posting) which could be misconstrued or hurt someone.

As Anna Marie's second grade teacher admonished, we need to ask ourselves three questions before we say (or write, or post to our Facebook wall) something: Is it true, is it kind, and is it necessary? If it fails any of these three tests, we might need to think twice.

"A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls."

How are your walls holding up today?

Kroger Shakedown?

2011-04-08T10:26:00.002-05:00

Sigh. Truthfully, I've been putting this off because I didn't feel I did as well at the store this week as I normally have. I was highly disappointed to find that I'd only saved 25%, not 50 or 60%, so I thought y'all would be disappointed in me.

Yeah, I'm waaaay too hard on myself.

This week's list didn't look really great, but I needed some things that there are no coupons for - milk, eggs, etc. I did find the rice I needed on sale, and had a coupon, even though it wasn't the lowest price I've ever paid for it.

Meh.

I still think I did pretty well for my money, though:

1 dozen eggs
A pack of boneless, skinless chicken breasts
2 boxes of Success boil-in-bag rice
2 cans of black beans
2.13 lbs. of bananas (which are getting more expensive lately!!!!!)
1 gallon of skim milk
1 bottle of KC Masterpiece bbq sauce (for 19 cents!)
4 cans of tomato paste

Total after coupons/sales: $19.91
Total before coupons/sales: $27.17
Total savings: $6.26 (25%)

So, yeah. MEH. Nothing to see here. Move along.

Better luck next week.

Fun for Friday

2011-04-01T13:50:00.000-06:00

Do you need a pick-me-up today? Does it seem like your last name is suddenly changed to "Murphey" because everything that can go wrong, has gone wrong?

Hmm? Or is that just me?

Well, have I got a deal for you:

Yeah, I posted this last year, right before the finale, but this morning driving to work I was flipping stations and heard the song. Now, I'm no Miley fan, but after watching this video about a bazillion and one times last May, THIS is what comes to mind whenever I hear the song.

Sigh. I miss this show something fierce. I'm thinking that the boxed set would be a GREAT present for my birthday this year, since I'm going to be halfway through my 30s, but since Jason never, ever reads this blog I guess I'll have to resort to other means of letting him know that.

Movin' my hips like yeah - whatever that means!

In consideration of coupons

2011-03-30T04:48:00.002-06:00

So, there has been some consternation in the coupon community (yes, there is such a thing as a "coupon community" - if it works for Trekkies it can work for us!) about Kroger's recent policy change regarding stacking electronic coupons with those printed on paper.

Actually, the policy changed last year - something that, once again, other couponers alerted me to - but the registers in my local stores were still allowing me to stack.

Yesterday, news broke in the local media about a software update, downloaded by the registers last week, which prevented that from happening. Since many of my friends know my couponing prowess, I've been asked about the change.

I don't know why this hit the media yesterday - they reported that the update downloaded over a week ago, on March 21. I went shopping that morning, and I had two conflicting experiences with ecoupons.

First, I tried to buy some Olay cleanser, and the register rejected my paper coupon. When the cashier looked at the register tape, she noticed I'd already used an ecoupon. It wasn't a big deal - the values were the same, and it was $2 off so it wouldn't have doubled anyway. I'd completely forgotten about downloading that ecoupon to my Kroger card, and told the cashier so. She gave me back my paper coupon.

No harm, no foul.

Then, when I looked at my receipt, I realized that it HAD let me stack for some Kraft cheese - making that item free. I don't know if the difference was in where I downloaded the ecoupons. The software upgrade may only apply to those issued through the Kroger website, and not Cellfire.

Hard as it may be to believe, I don't have a problem with this policy change. It's Kroger's business how they run their registers. I understand that the ecoupons could also be considered manufacturer's coupons (as opposed to those issued by the store), but I don't know that their site ever makes that clear.

Here is the problem I do have with how this is rolling out:

On the way home from work yesterday, I was listening to the radio simulcast of on of our local TV station's broadcast. They were doing a story on this situation, and a spokesperson for Kroger said that the updates were made to stop "fraud" and "those who abused the system."

That got my dander up, folks.

I do NOT consider myself having committed fraud all those times when coupons stacked. Many stores (like Target and Walgreens) issue store coupons that they allow to stack with those issued by the manufacturer. As I said before, there is some confusion as to who issues those ecoupons. It is NOT my fault that they considered themselves having a "software glitch" that allowed this to happen for so many years, or that it took them so many years to fix it. I have known since last year that this change was going to eventually come to my local stores, and knew I would not make a big deal about it. My Grocery Game list never took into account stacking, so that never factored into my buying decisions - and, frankly, most of the time I forget what coupons I have loaded.

Since the digital coupons do NOT double, and paper coupons do, I would like to have the choice to use one or the other - but the register does not allow you to withdraw redemption of an ecoupon to apply a different one. It just means I will have to be more vigilant about keeping up with what is what.

And as for "abusing the system?" PUH-LEASE. A lot of people have asked me if I plan on watching a new show which TLC is advertising, following "extreme couponers." Honestly, I do not. From what I've seen in the previews, THESE are the people who abuse the system. One lady came away with dozens and dozens of free Butterfinger bars, just because she could. I consider that system abuse not just from a store's viewpoint, but from a consumer's place as well. It's just plain bad taste to hoard items - there, I used that word - just because you can.

How would that person feel if she went into the store, and there was something on sale she REALLY needed, but someone had already cleaned out the stocks? Even if I'm not limited by the number of coupons I have - which is usually no more than two, very rarely three for an item - I try to be considerate of others. I will make trips on different days or to different stores if I know I need multiples of an item.

I am not interested in getting $400 dollars worth of groceries for $4. I have a small family, and I don't have room for that much food. Yes, I do take advantage of some deals so I will have things to donate, but come on - that is just shameful.

I also fear that these "extreme couponers" and the attention they're gaining will cause stores to take more notice of all couponers, and cause more policy changes like we've seen this week. I have already heard through the grapevine that, in some regions, Kroger is ceasing doubling coupons. To be fair, these seem to be due to stores abusing the policy, and most of these were also allowed to triple coupons on certain days. But as more and more people jump on the couponing bandwagon, and those on the fringes gain more exposure, I don't see that trend stopping any time soon.

So, as you coupon, PLEASE do so responsibly. The couponing privilege you save may be your own.

Kroger Shakedown!

2011-03-29T05:46:00.000-06:00

I may have shared this with you before, but when Jason and I were first married, we were broke as a joke.

We were busted.

Broker than the Ten Commandments, as a dear friend of mine used to say.

Jason was working full time at the church, and only getting paid for part time, and I hadn't found a job yet. We subsisted on $250 a week for the first several months of our marriage.

(We also made some very big financial mistakes during that time that we had to deal with for years to come, but that's another post for another time.)

Anyway, there were many weeks that I only had about $5 to shop for groceries on. We at a LOT of hot dogs and cans of soup during those months! As a result, grocery shopping was not a joy at all. And I promised God that once we got out of that mess, I would never dread grocery shopping again.

And while I suppose there would have been something to be said for praise God as I was shopping with $5, I couldn't see that at the time. But, I have kept my promise and, every time I start to hate going to the store, I remember where we used to be and that we aren't there anymore - hallelujah!

What makes it even more enjoyable for me now is playing The Grocery Game. I'm a natural-born tightwad, so seeing how much food I can get for how little is right up my alley.

This week was another great trip for me. I love stopping in on my way to work, when there are hardly any other shoppers (and no nine-year-olds hanging on my cart) to slow me down!

Here's how it shaped up:

2 boxes of Lucky Charms (I should buy stock in this company, seriously!)
2 4.4 lb. bags of Pedigree dog food (99 cents each!)
3 bottles of Suave shampoo
2 boxes of Annie's Organic mac and cheese
2 bottles of Smart Water (and I'm hoping it lives up to its name)
2 bottles of Vitamin Water Zero
1 bag of Seattle's Best Cinnabon coffee
2 boxes of whole wheat linguine (for FREE!)
3 2-liter Coke products
1 bottle of Franks Hot Wing sauce
1 bag of coffee filters
2 bags of Kraft Homestyle Mac and Cheese
1 pouch Bumblebee tuna (for FREE!)
1 Lean Gourmet frozen dinner (for my lunch)
1 box Natures Valley granola bars
2.96 lbs bananas
2.81 lbs JAZZ apples. (I just love saying that. JAZZ apples!)

Total before coupons/sales: $78.80
Total out of pocket: $28.70
Total savings: $50.10 (65%!)

I've learned that my list isn't infallible, though: I saw that Wisk detergent was on sale at Kroger for $5.99, and I had several coupons for $2 off, which would have brought them to $3.99 a bottle. But, I wanted to check at Dollar General first to see if it was cheaper - and it was - 50 cents each. I stopped by yesterday evening and picked up three bottles for $10.50. We're now stocked up for several months to come!

Happy couponing!

Stumped

2011-03-24T17:59:00.000-06:00

Stumped.

That’s what I am today. Just plain stumped.

I think I’ve told y’all this before, but I have a slight bit of a problem when it comes to losing stuff. When I lose something, it’s not just the object that’s gone – it’s my “religion” too.

I look. I ponder. I fuss. I fume.

I hate not being able to find something that’s lost.

Sometimes, it’s my own fault. I will admit to not being the best at putting things away when I’m finished with them. As much as I love my jewelry, I’m especially prone to just putting it down “wherever” at the end of the day.

(This might help explain why I’ve had at least one ring, one pair of earrings, and one necklace go missing in the past several years.)

Now, it’s not something of mine – it’s something of Anna Marie’s. It’s her Chess Club shirt.

Apparently, my kid hasn’t gotten the message that “Chess Club” automatically means “Big Nerd” in most parts. She loves playing chess, and gets pretty annoyed that I don’t catch on as easily as she did. I think to be a successful chess player, you have to be able to think through the consequences of your actions and see several steps down the road.

"Strategery" is not my strong suit. After all, if I were able to better see the consequences of my actions in the long term, I have an easier time resisting those cupcakes my sister brings when she comes over!

But I digress.

Anna Marie has been after me for weeks – no, make that months - to find that shirt. She has Chess Club every two weeks after school, and she’s only worn that shirt once or twice. And then, on Tuesday I received an email from the teacher that went a little something like this:

“We’re taking pictures at Chess Club on Thursday, so if you bought a shirt for your child, they need to wear it!”

Cue panic attack in 3, 2, 1…

I knew I hadn’t been able to look for that shirt. I knew I wasn’t going to be home until late in the evening on Tuesday and Wednesday.

I knew this was probably a lost cause.

But still, I looked. I poked. I prodded. I pouted.

And no shirt.

So today, instead of a royal blue T-shirt, she’s wearing a red polo. As I child, I would have been mortified by the thought of just another thing making me stand out, making me different, from the other kids. But Anna Marie was non-plussed. She pointed out to me that not everyone would have a shirt, because not everyone had ponied up the money and bought one.

My kid, the eternal optimist.

At least I’ll be able to spot her when the picture comes out.

I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller...

2011-03-22T17:12:00.000-06:00

Photo courtesy of her Aunt Manda, naturally.

My daughter, the basketball player.

No one is more surprised by her prowess on the court, or her dedication to the sport, than her own mother is.

My favorite past time is sitting on the couch holding a remote and seeing how many shows I can watch at once. (Because there might be something better on another channel!) Jason, well, he played baseball as a kid, but he's not much for sports now.

I don't know what it is about the sporting life that appeals to her so. She's always been active. From the first day she was born, we've had a hard time keeping up.

And COMPETITIVE. Lawd help us. I guess playing sports is the perfect marriage of her two most obvious personality traits, and basketball is their favorite child.

She started playing Upward basketball with a church in Senatobia last year, and I was quite surprised with her natural talent for the game. Who'd taught this kid to shoot like that? Certainly not me. I can't hit the broadside of a barn.

She was super excited to play again this year, and practiced every time she got a chance. Waiting for me to pick her up from choir practice in the Baptist Church gym, you can find her, red faced and sweaty, trying to refine her shot. After children's church at our church, she's pulling out the basketball goal in their sanctuary and trying for two more points.

Her choice of apparel hinges upon whether it's comfortable enough to play basketball in.

With just a little extra coaching this season, she was on fire for her last game. Our head usher had seen her practicing after a leadership meeting one Sunday night, and spent a good bit of time playing one-on-one with her while giving her instructions. I have been amazed at the difference those few minutes have made in her game.

She doesn't have a goal at home - yet - but she spends hours on the porch practicing her dribbling and fake-shooting. Sometimes she persuades me to come pass the ball to her and run up and down the "court" in a makeshift game.

Sometimes, she sets up the cheap-o video camera we got her for Christmas and films herself so she can critique her performance.

Those NBA wristbands she's wearing in that picture? She convinced my mom to buy them because "They're just like LeBron James'." When I try to tell her how horribly Derek Rose messed up the Memphis program a few years ago with the cheating scandal that caused the NCAA to void their second-place championship season, all she says is, "I want to see proof. If they can't prove it, it didn't happen."

Whose kid is this, anyway?

The triumphant return of the Kroger Shakedown!

2011-03-21T16:52:00.004-06:00

Yes, gentle readers, lots of changes have been going on in Melz World. You know what hasn't changed?

That's right. COUPONS. I cannot imagine a scenario in which I'm not a coupon junkie. Even if we had tons and tons of money, I'm pretty sure I'd still be a bargain shopper.

It's just who I am.

Although it's been a long, long time since I blogged about my shopping exploits (or anything else for that matter...) I've still been clipping and shopping and saving my family wads and wads of cash.

This week was especially rewarding. Kroger seems like they're having more and more of their cart-busting, buy-x-number-of-things-and-save-y-amount-on-your-bill sales.

And I am NOT complaining. It's a bit of a pain, yes, to stop and count the items in my basket and watch the checker like a hawk - especially with a kid in tow. But, thanks to some recent changes of scenery here in Melz World, I now have the opportunity to visit the store very early in the morning, kid-less, and when it's much, much less crowded. Score!

I got several things for free this week, which makes me VERY excited. They include six FREE cans of Pedigree dog food (which I don't normally buy, but hey, it was free and I have 210 lbs of dogs to feed), two boxes of Ronzoni Smart Taste Pasta, and a packages of Kraft 2% Milk Singles!

All-in-all, my bill was $40.83 and my savings added up to $73.34. For those of you who are no good with The Maths (like me) that's 66% saved!

Here is a quick rundown of my list:

2.65 lbs bananas
5 2-liter Coke products
6 cans of Pedigree dog food (FREE!)
3 4.4 lb. bags of Pedigree dry food (for 99 cents each!)
4 cans of Red Gold tomatoes (for a quarter each!)
2 boxes Ronzoni Smart Taste spaghetti (FREE!)
2 jars Pace salsa
2 packages Bumblebee Tuna (in the pouches)
2 bottles low-sodium V8 juice
1 box Lucky Charms
2 boxes Kroger 25-calorie hot cocoa
1 bottle Frank's Red Hot
1 bottle Frank's Red Hot hot wing sauce
1 bottle Irish Spring body wash
1 jar Mt. Olive pickles
1 package coffee filters
1 package Kraft 2% milk singles (FREE!)
1 bottle Olay Reginerist Cleanser (for my mom)
1 package fresh chicken tenders
3.10 lbs Jazz apples

I still start to panic when the total rings up to over $80 (after sales) until my coupons kick in. Silly Mel! You'd think I'd know better by now!

Stay sweet, coupons. Don't ever change!

How does your garden grow?

2011-03-20T17:49:00.000-06:00

One of the many changes here at Melz World is that I've apparently become a gardener.

No, really!

I've wanted for years to be one of "those people" - the ones who worked in the dirt, making beautiful landscapes and growing more vegetables than they could ever eat every summer.

Every year, I've had good intentions. Every year, I've failed.

Not this year. At least not in the "following through on my good intentions" part.

Will these impatiens and violets grow? I don't know. Will the dogs destroy my hard work? I have no clue.

All I know is I spent time digging in the dirt today, and, for now at least, it looks good. I've often thought that I might have talents I didn't know I had, just because I've never tried. Well, here's my chance to see just what color my thumb is, once and for all.

So tell me, gentle readers, how does YOUR garden grow?

(No, for real. I need some tips!)

The view from where I am

2011-03-19T11:56:00.002-06:00

See that photo up there? It was taken just a few minutes ago. It's the view from where I am.

I've been a little AWOL in the past few months - and a lot of changes have happened in Melz World in that time.

The view from where I am has changed drastically in the past month and a half. Big chunks of my life I'd grown accustomed to - comfortable as an old pair of fleece PJs - have changed. I've gone through more transition in that short period than I have in a very, very long time.

I'm still making adjustments, still finding my footing, and still trying to contemplate my place in the grand scheme of things.

I know I'm being a little vague, but for those who only know the "bloggy me" rest assured they're good changes. They might not be things I would have originally chosen for myself, but the opportunities I've been blessed with show the unmistakable fingerprints of God all over them.

I'll be blogging more about those changes and what my life is like in the very near future. But for now, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and the view from where I am is looking pretty good.

"…which shall be to ALL people…"

2010-12-07T09:22:00.004-06:00

Hope. That's a funny word, isn't it? In our language, at least, we use it a lot:

"I HOPE it doesn't rain on Saturday…"

"I HOPE I get this job…"

(And especially at this time of year)

"I HOPE these pants still fit…"

According to the handy-dandy dictionary widget on my computer, hope has a couple of different meanings. It can mean "a feeling of expectation, a desire for something to happen." I think that's what most of us, as relatively secure Americans, think of when we use that word.

But…there is another meaning. And I think it's more than appropriate at this time of year to remember it.

"A person or thing that might help to save someone."

On Sunday, our Pastor started a series entitled "Hope for the Holidays." And boy, did it ever seem to resonate with the congregation in both services (which I attended, and paid much attention to, as it was my turn to run the media computer.)

The angels who appeared to the shepherds in Luke 2 said some very important things: You don't have to be afraid, I bring you good news, and it's for ALL people.

(Oh no. The waterworks are about to start in 3, 2, 1…)

All people. ALL of them. Not just us, in our comfortable chairs in our heated sanctuaries, waiting to get out so we can be the first in line at Qdoba after church.

The single mom, who is working three jobs to put food on the table. The middle-aged man, sitting in a bar drowning his sorrows in the bottom of the glass. The junkie about to shoot up one more time, who can't even put food on the table because his habit is so all-consuming.

ALL people.

The people in Haiti, who nearly a year after a devastating earthquake are still living in tent cities, afraid to drink the water for fear they will contract a deadly disease. The folks in war-ravaged African nations, afraid to vote because of the riots that will soon follow. The Muslim living in the Middle East, who feels a longing in his soul for something more.

ALL people.

The only, only hope any of these people have is Jesus. He fits that second definition up there, except He's THE person who will save someone. That's the Good News that the angels brought, to a world which wasn't much different than the one we live in now: wars, high taxes, social unrest. Good news. Hope. For all people.

That single mom? She can only do so much on her own. That junkie can get clean, but even secular treatment programs advise reliance on a "higher power." The poverty stricken in our country and around the world have no hope, in this world or the next, without Him.

Hope. It's resonating in my soul today.

Lord, let me spread your hope to those who need it most.

Christmastime is here...

2010-11-29T15:50:00.005-06:00

Wow. It takes a major holiday to get me off my proverbial stool of do-nothing a post to this blog! Huzzah!

Last night, as many of you know, was the first night of Advent. Now, we're not Catholic, or Lutheran, or any of those liturgical, high-church people. (Not that there's anything wrong with that!) We're Assembly of God, which (for those of you who don't know) is a Pentecostal denomination. Having grown up in that sort of atmosphere, Advent was not something we were taught about.

I grew up feeling like Christmas came and went, and never savoring the season. Every year on December 25, when it was time for bed, I'd feel this huge "let down" that it was all over, and I hadn't really enjoyed it.

What I was really feeling was the secular hustle and bustle, and, although it was a "Jesus" holiday, we were just as caught up in all that as the rest of the world.

(This isn't a blame-my-upbringing post, mind you. It's very, VERY easy to let that be the default way to celebrate.)

But, as I got older, got married, and had a child of my own, I wanted to start some traditions that she would remember when she was older. I wanted her to learn to take time out during the Christmas season and really reflect on what a Gift we have been given. I don't remember when we started lighting the Advent candles, but I do know this: our first candleholder was one Jason picked up at a thrift shop, and it isn't even an "officially licensed" Advent do-dad. It's long and made of metal, and it's got reindeer heads at each end. But it had the requisite number of holes, and we were learning as we went.

Finally, I bought a nice candleholder on sale after Christmas a few years ago, specifically made for this purpose. We were official!

Every year - and I do mean EVERY year, I forget to start the whole thing. Many years, we end up doing the four Sundays (because we've not progressed to the every night thing that some have, due to our schedules) on the four DAYS before Christmas because I've forgotten that long.

Last night, thanks to a Facebook friend from church, I remembered! (Thanks, Ben!)

Unfortunately, I had to find the candle holder. And then I had to find the candles (which we didn't have). And then I had to travel to TWO stores, because the first one didn't have any tapers.

And, no, they aren't the "traditional" colors. They're white, except for one which is red. I'm sorry if that offends the sensibilities of my more traditional readers, but see my previous disclaimers. There were no purple or pink candles in the store!

I found a simple devotional online, and, to keep Anna Marie engaged, I had her read part of it. Shazam - why have I not tried this before? We had a discussion about waiting, and I asked Anna Marie how God wanted us to wait for things (and Him) and she said, "Joyfully!"

(I think I'm going to email our pastor, and suggest big fat Christmas bonuses for our children's pastors. They are making my job way too easy.)

I loved her answer - JOYFULLY. All those years I felt empty after Christmas was over, I wasn't waiting joyfully for the Advent. I was waiting impatiently for the chance to open my presents and stuff my face, and after those things were done, there was a big fat hole left in my heart.

JOYFULLY - like parents waiting nine months on a child's birth. We should be waiting on His Advent with joy, and anticipation just like that. When the baby is born, you don't feel empty that the birth is over - you feel joy that the fulfillment of the promise is here.

May we all wait, JOYFULLY, for the Promise of Christmas.

Really? Over a month?

2010-10-13T09:25:00.003-05:00

It seems my writer's block can only be broken by some sort of crisis.

Although, once we got the mice gone, I then had to deal with (all by myself, because Jason was out of town and unreachable) an infestation of ants. IN MY ROOM. What the heck? Contrary to popular myth, this fat kid does NOT hide Twinkies and Ho Ho's in her nightstand, so I don't know what they were after.

(That reminds me of a joke my dad used to tell - maybe a Flip Wilson gag? - "Do you believe in the hereafter? Good. Because I'm here after your money.)

(HAHAHA. You've missed my razor-sharp wit, haven't you?)

Once I got shed of the ants, via two applications of Terro, the best ant-killer ever invented, it was FLIES.

We have never, in the six years we've lived at our present address, had an issue with flies. Ever. It started out being a couple, which we chalked up to Anna Marie not closing the back door properly. And then one day I get a phone call from Jason, asking em to go to the store (THWACK!) and pick up (THWACK!) some flying insect spray (TWACK!).

Yes, he was calling me with one hand, and slaughtering flies with the other. Because he's a great multitasker that way.

They were all congregating around one of the windows in the kitchen, and were apparently quite dumb. Because even though they saw the rolled up newspaper sending their insect brethren to that big manure pile in the sky, they didn't move, and consequently suffered the same fate.

Thankfully, the flies seem to be gone. We're hoping for a nice, cold winter to kill them and all their mosquito cousins who live in the drainage ditch at the back of our yard, and attack us when we go out there to spend time with the dogs.

I don't know anyone named Moses, I haven't been to Egypt lately, and I'm not expecting frogs to show up in my kitchen any time soon.

And no, I'm not going to rename this blog "Plagues I have known." Just so you know.

I may as well blog

2010-09-04T08:04:00.003-05:00

Y'all, if I had known how much cleaning was going to be involved with the aftermath of a handful of rodents, I probably would have just left everything and moved.

Seriously. Anyone who knows anything about me at all knows I HATE cleaning. HATE it. Not in a "Oh, well, I'd rather be watching reruns of LOST than mopping this floor," way, but more of a "I'd rather have my hair pulled out strand-by-strand than mop this floor."

Yeah, there's a difference.

Sure, I like my home to be clean. Who doesn't? Other than those people on those hoarding shows on A&E, most people you polled would prefer a tidy house over a messy one. It's just that, even after a dozen years of living in my own house, my brain just doesn't "work" that way. I don't look around a room and think "I need to do X to clean this room, and then when that's done I'll do Y as the next step." Noooo, I walk into a room, become overwhelmed because I don't know where to start, and walk right back out again.

Lest you think that Neicy Nash and her Clean House crew is due to show up on my doorstep, let me reassure you that I married smart. My husband has that "cleaning" gene, in spades!

In our marriage, we've only had a couple of real "bones of contention." The biggest one is housework. Jason is a "clean up after yourself" type of guy, and I'm more of a "I'll pick it up when I get around to it" type. I know, I KNOW, this is a horrible way for an adult to behave, and a terrible example for my daughter.

I'm just being real, y'all.

So, back to my current situation.

Jason has spent the last few days taking everything out of the cabinets, inspecting for evidence of mice, and cleaning all the contents. He has also discovered that we have way, WAY too much stuff in our teeny tiny kitchen. So, he gave me instructions to decide what to keep and what to toss.

People, I still had half a dozen sippy cups in my cabinet. And my daughter hasn't used them in probably four or five years, nearly the amount of time we've lived here! Unfortunately, they were all chewed up (from a teething toddler) and missing their seals, so they had to be trashed.

Random plastic containers, broken bits of this and that - all on their way to the landfill. Part of this is Jason's fault - HE is the one who can't seem to throw anything out. I think he has realized where that philosophy has gotten us!

We also - and this will make my mother VERY happy - have started a "send to mom's yardsale" pile. She's forever planning yard sales, and forever asking us for donations, so there she goes. She now has enough for a whole separate kitchen section.

Now comes my greatest dilemma. In our teeny, tiny kitchen (seriously, it's probably 9x12) we have very, very little counter or cabinet space. That kitchen also contains our washer and dryer (it's an old house) and doors to the backyard and the room next to it. To try to counter this problem, we used a small hutch we'd had since we got married, placing it in front of one of the windows. I LIKED this arrangement. It was just big enough for my coffee maker and our microwave, with my coffee stuff and some fancy dishes going up top, and larger appliances (like my crock pot and George Foreman grill) underneath.

However, Jason has decided that the hutch has to go. True, it did take up some of our kitchen space. And, it blocked a window, which blocked some of the light from the room. He is under the impression that we can clean-and-organize our way to a hutch-free existence. I am not so sure.

I guess we shall see who wins this round.

Yesterday I left work early because of the holiday, and spent two hours helping him clean. And then we left to run some errands, and returned for another two hours of work. And we're STILL not done - I had to look for nearly five whole minutes to find my coffee grinder this morning. That is NOT a good feeling.

But, I have a temporary respite. He's still asleep, and no way in the world am I embarking on this mission without his directions. Did I mention, he has re-loaded the dishwasher when I didn't do it to his specifications? So, yeah. This kitchen re-do is way bigger than that.

My kitchen and dining room are a mess. Jason is still asleep. My hands are pretty much tied.

I may as well blog.

Success!

2010-08-30T21:55:00.002-05:00

(Sorry for the lack of a picture, folks. It goes against everything in my newspaper page designing background not to have one, but seriously - I'm pretty sure we don't need to see some deceased rodents up in here.)

When last we met, Jason was trying to figure out a way to out-fox a wily mouse.

Turns out, he was trying to out-fox wily mice. PLURAL. As in, there has been more than one varmint roaming around my kitchen.

Saturday night, he decided to put a trap in the small gap between the refrigerator and the stove.

Sunday morning, I heard a very, very nice sound: SNAP. As in, the death knell for the mouse. As in, music to my ears.

He re-set the trap, you know, just in case. After church yesterday, we found out just what that case was: Mouse #2.

I thought it was over. Really, I did. I mean, come ON - what were the odds that we had more that one mouse, let alone, more than two? Once again, we left the trap there, on the off chance that another mouse might show its little mousie head.

(Did I mention, he's RE-USING the traps? GAG. He says they are made to be re-used, and I'm sure he's right. It seems like what all those super-exterminator shows he likes to watch recommend doing. He also says that mice are cannibalistic, and that if they smell a dead mouse, it will draw them to that spot.)

(EWWW.)

So tonight, we came back home late after a meeting at church, thanked my mom for watching Anna Marie, and started getting ready to turn in for the night. And then my eye caught an odd sight: the mouse trap beside the stove was upside down.

I will give you three guesses as to why that was, and the first two don't count.

Jason is taking heart, though. He says they're getting smaller.

"This one was itty bitty," he proclaimed, a little hopefully.

He checked the dryer vent hose to see if that was the point of entry, but it doesn't appear that way. He's working tomorrow in Memphis, so we'll have to move the stove out tomorrow night or Wednesday and investigate that situation more fully. It is quite possible, or so he tells me, that the mice are living in an open space at the back of the stove, but we still don't know how they're getting in.

In the meantime, guess where that trap is. Yep, you got it.

And the saga continues...

2010-08-28T22:09:00.004-05:00

I wish I could report to you, gentle reader, that my shock-and-awe campaign had rid our house of its unwanted guest.

But that would not be the truth. And I am nothing if not honest, y'all.

Oh, sure, we started out going easy on the little guy with the glue traps. One under the cabinet where he'd taken up sky diving on Tuesday morning, and one behind the refrigerator, where he had taken refuge after his descent from on high.

Nothing. Well, I guess I should be more precise: Jason spied some, ahem, evidence that the mouse had lighted on one of the glue traps, but apparently he wasn't stout enough to actually get stuck on the board.

So, we set out an old-school trap under that cabinet. A day or two passed, and we still didn't catch the little booger. Finally, Jason figured out what part of our problem is: this is no ordinary mouse.

I know, I know. We all like to think that our mouse is something special, but the one who is interloping here on Tate Street really is a cut above. You see, while most mice play it safe and run along the perimeter of a room, this mouse goes for the gusto and runs right straight ACROSS the room.

This makes it nigh unto impossible to place a trap where he will be tripped up by it. I'm beginning to understand all those bumbling idiot vs. mouse movies I've seen over the years. They aren't that far off base. Jason has threatened to litter the kitchen floor with traps, just like in one of those movies - but he's afraid he'd come through at 2:30 a.m. to go to work, forget about the traps, and set off a chain reaction.

So, four days in, we're still no closer to catching the mouse than we were last week.

Next stop: KING SNAKE.

Oh yeah, it's on.

Dear Little Mousie that fell out of my kitchen cabinet,

2010-08-24T08:20:00.004-05:00

(Yes, I'm breaking a nearly two-month blogging hiatus with a post about a mouse.)

Ahem, as I was saying,

Dear Little Mousie that fell out of my kitchen cabinet this morning,

I don't know who you think you are, or how you got in there. We run a clean establishment around here. But I'm issuing a cease and desist order right now.

I did not appreciate it when you very nearly gave me a heart attack this morning, falling out of my high cabinet and scurrying across the floor that way.

Why can't you just meander peacefully across the floor? It isn't so much YOU I'm frightened of, it's your scurrying-ness. You STARTLE me.

There is a difference, you know.

So, here is the deal. I am offering amnesty, good for one day only. If you leave the way you came, and inform your little mousie friends that the Turner house is not one to be reckoned with, I will let you go on your merry mousie way. No questions asked.

If you refuse, be forewarned that I went to Walmart this morning and stocked up on an arsenal of mouse-fighting devices. I will come at you with a quickness. You will not know what hit you.

(I would make a GREAT Dread Pirate Roberts, by the way, little mousie. Just so you know.)

Furthermore, be advised that I will be sending you a bill for the lunch money I had to give Anna Marie today (because packing her lunch would have meant opening the refrigerator, the same appliance behind which you were lurking); the $5 worth of wooden and glue traps, along with the $2 in peanut butter to bait them with, that I had to buy this morning; and the $7 for the shirt I bought on clearance, just to make myself feel better. Because I totally wouldn't have bought THAT if you hadn't traumatized me so.

Also, I will be sending a bill for whatever we eat out for dinner, because I am totally not cooking in that kitchen while you're still around.

For your convenience, I accept cash, credit cards, and PayPal. I've been burned by too many rodents in the past, so please, no checks.

Sincerely,

Melissa

Methinks I need some Minions

2010-07-09T10:49:00.002-05:00

Last night was the first night of my annual "Week-of-no-redheads" observance - that time of year when Jason and Little AM get a "vacation" and I do not, because I am so "vital" to the "operations" at my "job" that no one can fill in for me for a week.

In honor of WONR, Amanda (pictured above) and I typically try to have a girls' night out. One year, it was Vietnamese food and Napoleon Dynamite. Another, it was Vietnamese food (from a different place) and Batman Begins. This year, it was Pei Wei (are you sensing an Asian-centric vibe to our food choices?) and Despicable Me.

Since she works at the most-awesome Muddy's Bake Shop, which is across the street from the equally-awesome Paradiso Theater, someone came by last week and offered free passes to a sneak peak of the movie.

(Yeah. Anna Marie still doesn't know I went to see it without her!)

She is off this week because Muddy's closed for a "break," and the two of us painted the town yellow. Or as yellow as you can paint it on a budget and a weeknight.

(We lived dangerously, though - snuck in snacks in my purse! Power to the people!)

Thankfully, the theater showed it on a HUGE screen in a HUGE room, so there was plenty good room for all the freeloaders.

I didn't know much about this movie before last night, which I guess was a good thing. I watched a trailer this morning, and many of the jokes were included there (but were surprises to me.) But don't worry - this isn't one of those movies where all the best jokes are in the trailer!

Gru is a villain (voiced by Steve Carell) who needs to step up his bad-guy game due to competition from up-and-coming baddies. He adopts three girls from a local orphanage to help in one of his schemes, but does not expect to be won over by their love.

It was a really, really sweet movie. And funny. Did I mention funny? Laugh-out-loud funny. Not just 10-year-old toilet humor, either. I felt it was a really family-friendly-flick.

As it was a promotional event, meant to build buzz, they did have folks stationed at the exits writing down comments. We, however, were not approached personally.

We were blessed to see it in 3D, and my Android phone had a Best Buy movie app that kicked in magically as the credits rolled, translating the Minions' language. Amanda and I thought it really added to the film, and I figure other smart phones have the app as well.

I'm planning on sending Anna Marie and my mom to see this when she gets back, and downloading the app onto my mom's Hero so they can join in too.

Disclaimer: I got a free ticket to this movie, but they didn't ask me to do anything promotional in return. I'm just doing this in the name of good, family-friendly fun.

And on the {14th} day, {some of them} rested.

2010-07-02T18:23:00.003-05:00

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Two weeks straight of running at full steam does not a happy Melz make.

Most folks get to take it easy in the summer (especially you teacher types out there - don't even get me started on summer vacation!) but not me. Not newspaper reporters, who instead see weeks filled with special editions, and weekends filled with special events needing covered, and contentious school board meetings as they decide how much to tax us THIS year.

Last week - well, I spent the first three days getting together our annual "Progress" edition (something I'd never heard of before I moved here, but apparently they're kind of a BIG DEAL, in Mississippi at least.) Strangely, though, there hasn't been much more "progress" around here than there has been anywhere else in the country. One year we had about a dozen subdivisions going up; the next, the bottom fell out of the housing market, and we've spent the past two years spotlighting the "progress" of local businesses staying around.

(Well, we have had a couple of large companies locate here in that time, but one was tied to the Toyota plant and so has been treading water for two years, and the other won't start production until first quarter next year.)

Then, I spent that Thursday doing all three of my pages, so I could be gone to our press association convention. Now, don't get me wrong - I was thankful for the opportunity to go, especially since it was only half an hour away in Tunica and not all the way down on the coast, but still - I near about pulled my hair out that week trying to get ready. Because it doesn't matter if I'm off work for a day or two - I have to get my work done before I leave!

(I was really, really happy to be there when we brought home second place in the General Excellence category, and so was my boss, who in all of his years in the business and all the papers he has owned, has NEVER placed in that competition. It's been kind of a big deal around our office this week.)

This week I thought it would be a little quieter, but we've had a couple of those contentious school board meetings, plus some other extra work thrown in there, and trying to get finished early today for an early press time - all of it landed me with a throbbing headache.

Four days with Anna Marie at camp, and I still didn't get any rest.

So, I hope you can appreciate the AHHH of relief I am letting out right now - Anna Marie spent the day here at home (with my mom in the morning and me in the afternoon) recovering from returning from camp yesterday. She is on the computer, again, making up for four days without electronics. Jason has been at the church three days this week (and only three because he had to work his "real job" the other two) helping install a new computer system for the children's department, and is still there now; and I'm on my bed, surrounded by stacks of clean, folded towels, watching the Clean House Messiest Home in the Country special on the DVR.

My house is still (relatively) clean because we've been gone so much - my child is home for a few days before she and her dad leave again for South Carolina - my headache is (mostly) gone - and I'm propped up in bed, writing for pleasure (not business), and ready to enjoy my three-day weekend.

Say it with me now: AHHHH.

We all had a lovely time, thank you.

2010-06-21T15:39:00.003-05:00

A very lovely time indeed.

Guess who finally got a BIG trophy at the Five Star Races? Hmm? Hmm? Betcha can't!

YESSSS!

She won first place in her age group, and she couldn't be happier. Well, I suppose she could, if she'd won the quarter-mile overall. But, whatever.

I did not race again this year, because 1. I kept hearing the scanner go off, with the EMS getting called out for people PASSING OUT because of the heat; 2. My knees were bothering me again, and 3. Having to take pictures of all the racers, and be prepared to race myself, is just too taxing. Within a 20-minute time span, I have to be in about four different places, getting photos and names of winners, and that doesn't leave me much time to psych myself out.

Saturday was very, very relaxing, since a miracle happened and the cleaning we did last weekend was kept up on a daily basis! I KNOW! Who would have ever thought that the "pick up after yourself" thing would actually work?

And yesterday, I did another sugar overload, as Amanda came to have lunch with us and my parents and brought not one, but TWO cakes from her job. One, called a Frankly Scarlett, was a miniature red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting. "Happy Father's Day" was written on top, and they couldn't get a hold of the person who'd ordered it, (and they would be closed for the next two days) so she brought it home.

(Yes, apparently REPEATED attempts at contact were made. I'm pretty sure they aren't in the habit of taking paid baking goods home without their due diligence.)

The other cake was a MASSIVE, three-layer number called the Cindy Lou Who. Each layer was a different color - pink, yellow, or purple - and it had pink frosting with coordinating "polka dots."It was a birthday cake, but the patron who'd ordered it insisted she had canceled the order the next day. It was vanilla flavored cake with vanilla buttercream, and it was sinful.

I'm "detoxing" today, because I need to be on my Ps and Qs in anticipation of our Press Association convention this weekend. Wohoo! It isn't at the coast, but at a casino about half an hour from here - which I guess was fortuitous, since none of us know what the condition of the beaches will be from one day to the next.

Fortunately, there don't seem to be any family functions on the horizon, so Amanda shouldn't be bringing $40 cakes to tempt me with!

You're gonna need a bigger birthday cake.

2010-06-18T14:53:00.003-05:00

This weekend, Jason's probable pick for all-time favorite movie is having a birthday.

Jaws is turning 35!

I did not know when we got married just how obsessed he was with this movie. Or, should I say, movies. He has shown over the years to be a fan of those cheesy SyFy made-for-TV-movies with ridiculously unlikely plots. I guess Jaws is where it all started.

Last summer, we went to The Orpheum in Memphis to watch Jaws as part of their Summer Movie Series, on the big screen. I had never watched it in its entirety before, and I jumped out of my seat a couple of times!

Jason is the proud owner of Jaws I-IV on DVD, and has just about memorized the commentary. Do you know how much he enjoys telling people trivia tidbits, like that the "You're gonna need a bigger boat" line was ad libbed?

Loves. It.

So, I suppose at some point this weekend, one (or all) of the Jaws installments will be playing on a television (or computer) screen at the Turner house. I shall have to find somewhere to be, so as not to pee my pants again at the sight of that dead body under that sunken boat.

(Which, by the way, they had to reshoot in someone's pool, because it didn't turn out right the first time?)

(Man, he's starting to rub of on me.)

I think I'm gonna need a bigger house.

I love a good wedding.

2010-06-15T10:47:00.003-05:00

This weekend, I was a guest at three - count them, THREE - very distinct weddings. Two were held at my church and the third in the tiny chapel at a Baptist church here in town.

Thursday night, our church bookkeeper tied the knot. She and her intended had both done this before, and both have grown children and grandchildren. It was a sweet, simple ceremony with a sweet ending - a dessert and coffee reception! A table full of pies and cakes, and divinity shaped like hearts. How cool is that?

One of the best parts of the wedding was the new (to me, but I'm seeing it more often) tradition of having the couple pour grains of sand of different colors from separate containers into one larger vessel, symbolizing their new blended life. Since the bride and groom were also blending a larger family unit, each grandchild (five of them in all, ranging in age from about 3-10 years old) came, one by one, and dumped a bottle of sand into their respective grandparent's vase, and then gave the couple a hug before sitting back down. I don't know what it was about that moment, but I was truly touched!

Friday night, a young couple (and fellow LOST fanatics) were the bride and groom. Their love for each other and God was so sweet, and so pure, and everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) spent the whole service crying. The groom started boo-hooing as soon as he saw his lovely bride come in the door, and basically didn't stop for the rest of the evening. Both he and the bride had a hard time getting through their vows for their emotions, and even the pastor had to take a handkerchief break.

The bride comes from a large family, and they all played a part - from sisters as bridesmaids, to a brother and brother-in-law as ushers, to her VERY talented twin brothers serenading us with a couple of duets.

Their reception was off site at a community center, but we didn't stay long. We got caught in traffic coming up and had to drop Jason off at the church (to help with the video feed) so he didn't get dinner, and it was HOT and CROWDED up in there. Apparently, our pastor and his lovely wife cut quite a rug, so I'm a bit disappointed we missed that!

Oh, and before the ceremony, this happened:

That's the pastor's daughter, Anna Grace, with my own Anna Marie. Two Annas, two DSs, two church weddings in two days' time!

Saturday night, we attended the wedding of a girl I've known since she was in her mother's womb. Seriously. My mother's family has had a strong connection to a certain neighborhood in Memphis for years, where both the bride and her father grew up. My grandfather planted a church there in the early 1970's, and our family lived there at different time for several years. We were living there when Char was born.

She has ALWAYS loved horses, which I suppose she got from her mother (who had a horse in her backyard in that neighborhood. No joke.) She just graduated from vet school at Mississippi State University, and I'm extremely proud of her for getting through all that.

She had a very small wedding, where she wore cowboy boots under her dress and had wanted posters with a bride and groom silhouette on the ends of the pews.

(Good thing it was small, because the minister was slightly senile and messed the ceremony all up. He tried to pronounce them man and wife three times while she still had other things on the program.)

The reception was barbeque, prepared by her uncle, at the couple's new house. Anna Marie was super stoked, because their horses came up to the fence and she got to see them up close and personal.

(The bride's mother encouraged me to buy Anna Marie a horse. Easy for her to say!)

It was a very relaxed, laid back affair, just like the couple themselves. Thankfully, they also had the foresight to bring in a fan to conjure a breeze and keep the insects away!

Yes, I love a good wedding - but right now, I'm glad to have a break from nuptials for a few weeks!

What to do, what to do…

2010-06-09T08:47:00.002-05:00

So, Anna Marie had her dance recital on Saturday. And she has declared it to be her very last one.

So now, I have to find something else to occupy her time once a week, preferably on Wednesday afternoons (while Jason is at work.)

It isn't anything against the dance studio. The teacher is lovely, and Anna Marie has learned some things about music, and dance, and rhythm in the past three years. Between the dance performances, and being involved with the childrens music program at First Baptist after school on Tuesdays, she has basically overcome her stage fright.

But, she isn't "into" dance. At least not the ballet and tap parts. I think if they offered some type of "TobyMac Hip Hop" lessons, that'd be right up her alley. However, her teacher is a classically trained ballerina, so I don't see that happening.

She has also taken tumbling lessons for the past two years after her dance lessons, and honestly, it's the tumbling that has kept her going all year. She has begged me not to make her go next year, and when we've been getting our costume pictures made and dressing up for the recital, she kept saying, "At least this is the last time I have to do this."

So now, she wants to concentrate on gymnastics. There are a couple of places here which offer classes: one which she went to when she was four (and I wasn't crazy about the instructor) and another, newer gym (where many of the girls who used to take dance with her now go.) I don't have a problem with that, and in fact, watching the older girls dance on Saturday, I had the distinct feeling that if she'd continued in that vein that as she got older we would be more and more uncomfortable with the outfits she was assigned and the moves she was learning. (If that makes any sense at all).

I can't find a listing for the other gymnastics teacher, but I know a couple of people who can get me the information.

We've also considered music lessons, since Jason plays piano and violin and I play, well, the radio (as my dad says.) We have a piano, but Jason's violin is too big for her and we'd have to rent or buy her a smaller model.

At any rate, I have a couple of criteria: it can't take up more than one day during the week (we have other obligations, like church and family, and she'll likely be playing Upward basketball again in the winter), it can't cost more than what we were paying for dance/tumbling, and it really, REALLY needs to be on Wednesdays, so I can justify the expense as "childcare."

Not too much to ask, is it?

Dear God,

2010-06-05T07:08:00.002-05:00

Thank you that all it took to get me going this morning was a cup of coffee and some of your Word, and not a bucket full of pills.

Thank you that I'm ambulatory enough to take care of my home and that the work isn't overwhelming.

Thank you that while our cash flow might not have been ideal this week, You supplied all of our needs and gave us wisdom to use what resources we did have.

Thank you that I need to be two places at once today, but that they're joyous occasions like a dance recital and a wedding, and not two funerals.

Thank you that my family is healthy and well fed, and that we have more "stuff" than we actually even need.

And thank you for the realization that, as I cleaned up the nearly WHOLE BOTTLE of laundry detergent that I spilled this morning, that I probably won't need to add any to the next load of towels I do - so not all is lost.

Thank you for little reminders that you always have us held safely in the palm of your hand, and help me to see whatever I encounter today through your eyes.

Amen.

Book review: The Revolutionary Paul Revere

2010-05-25T15:37:00.004-05:00

You don't know how much you don't know, until you find out. Isn't that how the old saying goes?

I had studied American History in eighth and twelfth grades, and again in college, but other than memorizing a poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, I knew next to nothing about Paul Revere.

Did you know that he was a soldier in both the French and Indian War and the Revolutionary War? I didn't. I also did not know that he had two wives, and between them bore 16 children for him.

I also learned that he wasn't the only rider on April 18, 1775, but one of three - and that he didn't even make it to his destination because of a run-in with British forces.

So if you're a history buff, or even if you aren't, you owe it to your American self to read The Revolutionary Paul Revere. It will give you a much deeper understanding of a true American patriot.

You can buy your copy here or here.

Full disclosure - this book was provided free of charge by Thomas Nelson Publishers in exchange for my honest review.

Oh Pandora, how do I love thee?

2010-05-18T09:16:00.002-05:00

Let me count the ways…

• I love that I can access you from work or at home, and not have to worry about which computer I've synced my iTunes library with.

• I love that you give me access to WAY more music than I have hard drive space/money for, and help me discover new stuff all the time. For FREE.

• I love that I can dial you up on my netbook, take it into the kitchen, and listen to TobyMac or Sinatra or Aretha Franklin or Jack Johnson while I putter around.

• And I really, REALLY love that when Jason brings home my Android phone in the next day or two, there will, indeed, be an app for that.

Sigh. What did I ever do without you, Pandora dear?

You just THOUGHT I was back from the Bloggy Wasteland

2010-05-17T13:08:00.006-05:00

Instead, I continue to take long, unscheduled breaks from Melz World.

Heh. Guess I showed you.

In the past couple of weeks, we've finished up our One Month to Live challenge, and, as a result, I'm thinking a lot more deeply about some things than I might have otherwise.

And, last weekend, Jason went to Discipleship Walk, the life-changing retreat I went on last fall. And, well, it was life-changing for him as well.

And now, I've been thinking a lot (since yesterday, anyway), about self-control.

I thought I had self-control. Most of the time, anyway. I've never been a binge eater, unless you count the whole bags of Vinegar and Salt Lays I'd inhale in college. (And really, since their slogan is "You can't eat just one, I seriously think that doesn't count.)

I've never gone out partying, and I've never blown $1,000 on a mall-wide shopping spree.

I've lost 90 pounds. I think that speaks to some measure of self-control, don't you?

But lately, I've been letting that self-control slip. And my waistline is starting to show it.

And then yesterday after church, Anna Marie told us what their verse was in Children's Church: "A person with no self-control is like a city with broken down walls (Proverbs 25:28)"

Man. That hit me as very profound. We spent a good bit of time at lunch talking about what that verse meant. I explained to her that in Bible days, cities had walls to guard their residents, but a broken down wall let all sorts of things in.

In modern language, I broke it down even further. Lack self-control in your spending? That can let in massive debt. No self-control in your eating? Sign me up for bigger pants, please! Need to control your mouth at school? That'll cost you recess.

A lack of self-control can let all sorts of ugly things into our lives. And make no mistake, you can lack self-control in some good areas too. Too much exercise can be just as bad for you as none at all, and you can eat too much of the right things just like too much of the right ones.

Not that I've ever been accused of either of those. It's just, you know, an example.

So, I'm looking at my self-control today. I am exhibiting a major amount of it, because one of my co-workers keeps putting snack-sized Snickers on her desk. And she isn't even there a lot of the time, so no one would know it was me getting one every time I walk past.

But I would. And eventually, so will my pants.

And I'm looking at my self-control when it comes to wasting time. Instead of getting caught up in watching TV when I got back from the gym this morning, I sat and ate my breakfast quietly, enjoying the short solitude before my people-filled day began.

So, today, take a little time to look at areas when you need to exercise a little self-control. Let's build up those city walls, instead of letting them be broken down.

Your pants, and probably your sanity, will thank you.

Sometimes, being a mom is kinda like being God.

2010-05-04T13:43:00.003-05:00

You know, in that "Better clean up your mess because you won't like it if I have to step in" sense.

(Because I'd MUCH rather see my issues and start to deal with them, before God has to bring them to my attention. Because sometimes He can be a little drastic. I'm just sayin.)

I spent nearly my whole lunch break today cleaning Anna Marie's room.

I've been after her for weeks and weeks and weeks to do something about it, but somehow, nothing ever got accomplished. So today, I took action.

I actually started last Tuesday, in the space of time after I take her to school and before I have to be back over there to volunteer with the PTO. I carried out three Walmart bags full of T-R-A-S-H.

(And lest you think my kid's room is a landfill, bear in mind that I'm including Happy Meal toys and broken Dollar Tree trinkets in that designation.)

Today, I did the same thing. Another couple of bags of trash, plus two large-ish school projects. As much as I love that model of K-9 she made last year for her class, I just don't have room for the pooch anymore.

Sorry, little dude.

I wisely made sure to carry the items to the trashcan, which was on the curb, because I've made the mistake of ditching it in the kitchen can one too many times - and then she throws something away herself, and discovers what I've done.

At lunch, out went another 13-gallon bag. I took all the "junque" on her floor, placed it on her bed, and will give her a checklist this afternoon.

To whit:

• Pick up EVERY SINGLE THING on this bed. Individually.
• Put it WHERE IT BELONGS. If it's a book, put it on the bookshelf. If it's a small plastic toy, put it in your toy box. If it's paper, put it in the sidetable drawer.

If it's money, give it to me. KIDDING! Well, only slightly.

That's it. That's the extent of what I need her to do today. Go through the stuff on her bed, and put it away. I'm not asking for the cure for the common cold here, folks.

I think she shall be pleasantly surprised when she gets to the bottom of the pile, because her reward will be several items she's been looking for over the past couple of weeks. I'm not going to even tell her they're in there - I'll know she's done her job when she finds them.

This weekend, Jason is going away with the men from church for four days. Know what I'm NOT going to be doing while he's gone? Cleaning her room.

She may get a bit miffed if/when she figures out where some of her "things" have gone, but I think there's a life lesson to be learned here: if she had dealt with it when I told her to, I wouldn't have had to step in and be the Cosmic Sheriff.

As I saw on a billboard once: "Don't make me come down there - GOD."

Contrary to popular belief

2010-05-02T20:45:00.002-05:00

We did not blow or wash away this weekend.

Although, at times it felt like we could have.

Really, we didn't get nearly the bad weather that those around us did. There were lots of bleary-eyed folks at church today because the tornado sirens were going off all night Friday and Saturday in the county where the church is (and where most of the folks live). They didn't go off down here at all - we just got tons and tons and TONS of rain.

(We were bleary-eyed this morning too, but because we had an eight-year-old climb into bed with us during the thunderstorm last night!)

There are stories of horrible flooding not far from here, and a couple of tornadoes touched down - and some lost their lives. Add that to the tornadoes in south Mississippi last weekend, and that oil spill making its way towards shore, and we have a lot of praying to do in the next few days, my homies.

I hope that wherever you are out there in blogland, you are safe, and DRY!

Looks like I'm going to have to moderate you folks

2010-05-01T08:06:00.002-05:00

I wish it was because my posts were so awesomely thought-provoking that they inspired great debate.

Unfortunately, that isn't the case. You can thank your Friendly Neighborhood Spammers for the change. The word verification doesn't seem to be stopping the weird, out-of-country comments, so this is the only way.

Now, if you'd like to have some heated debate about this, I'm all ears ...

If Valerie can come back to Blogland, guess I can too.

2010-04-30T08:11:00.003-05:00

When last we met, Anna Marie was surprising us all with her sudden interest in wearing things that FIT and did not involve baggy jeans and one-size-too-big T-shirts.

There's a little of that still going on - she wore a dress to school yesterday - but there's something much deeper going on in my life than that.

On Easter, our church started this study called the One Month to Live challenge.

And what a challenge it is.

The premise is this: if you had just one month to live, what would you do differently? We each had the opportunity to purchase the book of the same name for a discounted price, which has 30 days worth of chapters in it. (Thankfully, the chapters are only about five pages long!) Each week, our pastor's sermon takes its theme from the upcoming week's readings: Love Completely, Learn Humbly, etc. Then, each day we read a short chapter comparing life to something - a hurricane, or a roller coaster, or GPS.

Our pastor joined Facebook about this time, and he posts his thoughts on the chapter each day. We can then discuss them in the comments.

It's very, very, practical stuff. And very thought-provoking.

We're also wearing some nifty green wristbands to remind us of the challenge. Several people have commented that they've had "green wristband moments," where they've stopped what they were "busy" doing (usually watching TV, or, I don't know, maybe Farmville) and spent quality time with their families.

Because really, no offense to the Farmville folks, but if you only had a month to live, would you want to spend it feeding imaginary farm animals? Or would you want your kids to remember you spent time with them?

We're a little over halfway through the book, and each day I'm made more aware of how I'm spending the most precious commodity I have: my time.

So, I'll leave you with this challenge today: if you had just one month to live, what would you change?

Well I'll be a monkey's uncle

2010-04-12T13:49:00.002-05:00

(Just kidding. I'm not a monkey's uncle. I'm not actually anyone's uncle, come to think of it. I just couldn't think of a more appropriate way to express my shock.)

So, in the nearly 10 days since I last blogged (that incredibly depressing post, as I look back on it now) Anna Marie has made a mockery of my muddling.

This picture is from an amazing photoshoot my sister did with Anna Marie on Easter. Since she didn't want a dress, we compromised on a nice capri set. And she let me fix her hair - a HUGE deal for us!

The afternoon after I wrote that last post, I went to my favorite children's consignment shop, Jack N Jill. I had mom bring Anna Marie over so she could 1. Try on a couple of things, and 2. Make sure she'd wear them, since they have a no-return policy.

We picked out a cute pair of peach and olive flowery camouflage-type print (GAP) capris and a peach (GREEN DOG) shirt to match ($12 total!).

And - an Old Navy denim dress.

Yes. She picked out a dress, and would have had a couple of denim skirts if my budget would've allowed it.

And she's worn that dress twice already - once to school, and yesterday to church. Both times it was her idea. She had shorts on underneath, naturally, but still. A. DRESS.

Today? She's wearing a skort she picked out on Saturday. Not quite a dress, but it's halfway to being a skirt! And her hair is done today as well. I think she only allowed it because I told her it was Lucy's hairstyle in The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. I really must try replicating the hairstyles of more of her favorite movie characters.

So there you have it. My daughter, the enigma wrapped in a mystery.

I don't know what has gotten into her, but she can prove me wrong like this anytime.

Muddling through

2010-04-03T07:30:00.004-06:00

(By the way, y'all don't let me forget to go plug up my iPod when I get finished typing this. It's battery died a couple days ago, and I keep forgetting. I really wanted to listed to some stuff on it at work yesterday, but had to resort to Pandora instead. Thanks!)

Am I the only parent who feels like she's muddling through raising her child? I mean, I knew before I had Anna Marie that they didn't come with instruction manuals, but jeez Louise, I think my child is a bit more difficult to understand than most.

For starters, she's both book smart (like me, ahem) and interested in a lot of other stuff. I can't wait to get to a couch somewhere and watch TV or read a book, but her first thoughts run to MOVING - especially basketball these days.

And artistic - I can't draw a straight line with a ruler, and neither can Jason. But I can't tell you how many times I walk into a room and she's got the floor covered in drawings of imaginary animals, cartoon characters, or (increasingly these days) horses. Yes, she's into horses! We, of course, don't have any horses, unless you count those three beasts who live in the backyard and take up a sizable portion of my bank account with their food and care.

(Have you PRICED heartworm meds lately? Oh my stars and garters. And we have three dogs!)

She's just so very different from me, and Jason, that if she wasn't his spitting image I'd think someone at the hospital gave me the wrong kid.

She really doesn't like to wear dresses, or anything that's not a baggy T-shirt and jeans, these days. We came to a compromise on her Easter outfit - a pretty blue capri and tank set, with a sweater to wear over it.

But I'm trying not to worry about it. I'm trying to tell myself that if she isn't over-sexualized at the age of 8 (like a LOT of girls her age are getting to be) then maybe I won't have so much of a struggle when she's a teenager. It's getting increasingly difficult to find modest, age-appropriate clothes for her in stores, so that T-shirt and jeans look may be working for her for a while to come.

Her legs are so long, I can't even really buy her shorts these days. I'd prefer that her little butt cheeks aren't hanging out the legs, thankyouverymuch. Thank God for capris!

I think I've mentioned before, I had kind of a hard time "bonding" with her. I didn't feel that overwhelming rush of love when she was born, and because her stomach needed to be pumped immediately, she was whisked away to the nursery just about as soon as I gave birth. Breastfeeding was extremely difficult, and while I did it for three months, I'm not sure it helped us connect because it was so hard. She's never been a "momma's girl." Or a "daddy's girl" for that matter. She's more like a "gramma's girl," because my mom is the one she's most attached to.

But as she gets older, I'm starting to be thankful for the little moments we have together. We spend most every Thursday night alone, because Jason is at praise team practice at church. I try to make that time special.

She's recently become interested in lip gloss, of all things. Which is good, because she has very chapped lips most of the time and I can't get her to use Chapstick!

Monday night, we went shopping to find her some Easter shoes and me an outfit. We were in Dress Barn, and she was helping me pick out things to try on. And she asked me to wear something blue so we'd match! I probably could've found something to wear that night that wasn't blue, and told her that she was being silly - but considering the nature of our relationship so far, her request seemed like a HUGE thing to me.

So I found a blue shirt to wear, even if I have to wear a pair of pants I already own. Because that didn't seem like too much for my daughter, my only child, to ask of me this year.

A kid who asks, "Who wants to go to church looking sloppy on Easter," and then follows up with "But what if you went to church in a costume looking like a cross? What about that, mom?"

Muddling through - I guess we all do it from time to time in our children's lives.

And it looks like this weekend, we'll be doing our muddling in baby blue.

I'm not a doctor, but I'm getting pretty good at using Web MD

2010-03-31T07:34:00.003-06:00

So. The cardiologist's office called yesterday with the results from my Holter monitor.

"Your results were within normal limits."

Normal? You call losing my breath while sitting down doing nothing normal?

I was pretty upset after I hung up the phone. I felt like I'd wasted two days of my time and no-telling-how-much money, and every test I took seems to have come back as "normal."

I have a follow up appointment in about two weeks, so maybe I'll get more answers then. I sure as heck am going to ask more questions!

Looks like I need to fire up Web MD.

An update, of sorts

2010-03-26T19:36:00.002-06:00

I don't have much new information on my heart, just yet. Jason dropped the monitor at the cardiologist's office last night, and it'll be a couple of days before I hear those results.

They did call today, and tell me that my thyroid is normal. I guess that's good news, except, don't we all kinda wish that our thyroid is to blame for things like weight gain and sluggishness, instead of our poor diets and lack of exercise?

Yeah, me too.

So thus far, all we know for sure is my thyroid is A-Ok. Hopefully the other results will be in sometime next week. My next face-to-face appointment is in two and a half weeks, and I'm really, REALLY hoping they won't wait that long to get back with me.

Thanks for the prayers!

How to: scare your kid

2010-03-24T21:08:00.002-06:00

Just come home from the cardiologist's office with a bunch of wires hooked to you.

Yeah, that's what I did today.

I'm sorry I haven't gotten my Kroger Shakedowns from the past two weeks posted, but I've been dealing with a bit of a health issue over here.

I've had issues with my heart for years. In fact, before I was born, the doctor detected an irregular hearbeat. We've always chalked it up to my size (I was over nine pounds when I was born) and a stressful pregnancy (my mom was going to the city hospital because they were broke, and it was August in Memphis. 'Nuff said.)

When I was in college, right before I graduated, I ended up in the ER because of my heart rhythm. To be fair, I was 100 lbs. overweight, not taking care of myself AT ALL, eating a steady diet of junk, planning a wedding, and trying to finish school. Know what set off the episode? I opened my Visa bill from ordering my invitations.

Of course, that EKG came back perfectly normal.

Since I have lost weight, I haven't worried so much about my heart. I was still having the odd palpitation, but it really wasn't that serious - until last year.

For some reason, I was having episodes where I'd lay down at night to sleep, and my heart was pounding so hard I thought it would beat out of my chest. During the day, not only would my heart flutter, it would skip so many beats that it felt like it was turning flips trying to catch back up.

I almost fainted a couple of times walking around Walmart. And just sitting at my desk or in the car would bring a severe shortness of breath.

Since I didn't have insurance, I didn't feel like there was much I could do. I prayed. A lot. And it would get better. And then it would come back.

And then last year, I was able to buy insurance. The heart issues continued, but I'd visited an OBGYN who thought my uterus was tipped over and too big, and ordered an ultrasound. I figured I'd let myself get through one health crisis at a time, you know.

Well, my uterus is some sort of gymnast, because by golly, it's back where it needs to be. But my heart kept giving me problems.

So last week, after losing my breath while sitting at my desk, I asked a co-worker what cardiologist she used and made an appointment. I figured if my insurance didn't require a referral, it didn't make much sense to go to a general practitioner first, and waste that time and money just to end up at the specialist anyway.

So, Tuesday, I went. They performed an EKG, which showed my resting heart rate at over 100 bpm. Normal is under 80! I explained to the doctor that it felt like that at night when I was trying to sleep. He drew blood to check my thyroid, and scheduled me for a Holter Monitor and an echo cardiogram (basically an ultrasound of my heart - who knew?)

They were out of monitors yesterday, so I went back today. It was actually pretty cool to see my heart beating on that screen! The tech didn't say anything about what she saw, so I'm hoping it was normal.

Then, they put me into a monitor.

I've got five electrodes hooked to different parts of my body, and a small device the size of a cell phone on a lanyard around my neck. And I have to wear this contraption for 24 hours, meaning I not only have to sleep in it, but I also cannot shower tomorrow morning.

This ought to be fun.

I've been very open with Anna Marie about all of this, answering her questions about what happened at the doctor's office. But tonight, as I was putting her to bed, I could tell she was concerned about my condition.

So, we had a long talk. I told her that it was OK to admit she was concerned about me, and a little freaked out by all the wires stuck to me. I assured her that God was in control, and that no matter what happened, He would take care of all of us.

And then she asked me how much this visit was costing.

I explained about co-pays, and how I'd get a bill for part of the rest. From what I can gather, she was afraid that we wouldn't have the money to send her to camp this summer! I assured her that we had money set aside for camp, and that she didn't need to worry about that either.

I don't like sensing that she's upset. I want her to feel free to tell me how she feels, without worrying about whether those feelings are OK or not. I think she's just a little freaked out because she's never known me to go to doctors - I haven't had insurance since she was a baby.

Hopefully, this little experience will be good for the both of us. I will find out what's up with the old ticker, and Anna Marie will learn that she can talk to me about how she's feeling.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to try to get as much rest at this medical equipment will allow!

Book review: Mom's Bible

2010-03-18T05:39:00.003-06:00

As a mom, I have found out that there are a lot of resources geared toward us: devotion books for moms, prayer journals for moms, and of course, Bibles for moms.

Mom's Bible: God's Wisdom for Mothers is one of the more useful of these resources I've found. It includes notes by Bobbie Wolgemuth, who has been writing Christian literature with the likes of Joni Eareckson Tada and Dr. John MacArthur. Sprinkled throughout the verses are tidbits with titles such as "Insights" and "Walking in . . ." It helps to have someone relate what I'm reading to my role as a mother, and how to develop the necessary Godly characteristics.

I also like the version they used for this edition. The New Century Version is very clear and easy to understand, and makes the reading flow very smoothly.

You can pick up your copy here or here.

When Irish eyes are smilin'

2010-03-16T14:05:00.002-06:00

Yes, I know, today is NOT Saint Patrick's Day. I'm a day ahead. It's not my fault, though - my book club met today, and we had a three-pronged attack from the Emerald Isle. The three hostesses presented a lesson on the history of the holiday, a study of Irish authors, and an Irish sing-a-long by (a badly out-of-tune) piano.

And although I've never been to Ireland, it made me want to visit - or, at least, watch two of my favorite Irish-themed movies. I think Amanda introduced me to both of them, so I have her to thank.

Have you ever seen Waking Ned Divine? I think it's what you movie-types would refer to as a "black comedy." It's not the most well-known movie, but it's one I can watch over and over.

The other movie it made me want to see again is The Quiet Man. Maureen O'Hara, John Wayne, Ireland - need I say more? I'd love to show you this clip, but unfortunately you'll have to travel all the way to YouTube to see it - they've disabled embedding.

Anyone else have any favorite Irish-themed movies for this time of year?

Kroger Shakedown!

2010-03-11T05:50:00.002-06:00

It's weeks like this when I LOVE my list. And this week, it wasn't even printed out!

Jason sings on the praise team at church, and he had to be there by 8:30 Sunday morning. Meaning we had to leave the house around 8:00 a.m. My list wasn't up yet, so I took my netbook, dropped him off, and by the time I got to some free wifi (thanks ATT Hotspot in the Starbucks parking lot!) there it was. I made my selections, printed out an "xps" document (kinda like a PDF, I think) and was ready to go.

(For the record, our church has wifi too. It also has a pretty extensive security key to keep folks from driving up in the parking lot and doing what I did at Starbucks, and I didn't know then that Jason had already programmed it into my netbook.)

Since I didn't have a physical printer handy, I took my netbook into the store, sat it in the "kiddie seat" of the cart, and shopped off the screen. Easy-peasy, but something I probably won't be making a habit of. The computer is so small, and blocked from the back by a sign on the back rest, but still - I never took my hand off the cart, and as soon as I was finished shopping I put the computer into my purse.

We'd had a dinner with a slew of my family at a restaurant, and didn't have much time, so having the list was a lifesaver!

Here's how the shakedown went down this week:

2 packages of styrofoam cups (not on my list, but we needed them for our small group meeting that night)
2 cans of Progresso lower-sodium chicken gumbo (paper coupon plus Shortcuts)
2 cans of Progresso lower-sodium vegetable soup (paper coupon only)
3 boxes of Fiber One bars (paper coupons plus Cellfire plus Shortcuts)
2 boxes of Nature Valley granola bars (paper coupons, plus Cellfire)
2 bottles of Dawn foam dish detergent
1 package Betty Crocker cookie mix (paper coupon plus Cellfire)
2 bags of Kroger 2% milk shredded cheese
1 king sized Reese's Cup (which was free, because Jason found a $1 off coupon when you purchase a 20 oz Coke and the candy was on sale for $1. I've taught him well!)
1 20 oz. Coke Zero
3.58 lbs of Fuji apples
2.54 lbs of bananas
4 bags of Green Giant frozen veggies
1 California Pizza Kitchen pizza (since I had to work covering a banquet Tuesday night, for the folks at home)
2 boxes of Toaster Strudels (paper coupon plus Cellfire)
1 Hormel pork loin (which we had in the crockpot yesterday!)
4 Lunchables

Total before coupons/savings: $101.11
Total after coupons/savings: $46.90
Total saved: $54.21 (55%)

I am really digging these electronic coupons added to my card, and I REALLY hope they keep offering them!

Do do do, lookin' out my back door . . .

2010-03-10T21:07:00.002-06:00

Boy, do I feel dumb.

My house, in case I haven't told you before, backs up to the businesses on the south side of Main Street. There is, quite literally, a used car lot in my backyard.

Well, there is a drainage ditch which separates the two plots of property, but still, CAR LOT. BACKYARD.

There is a car detail business near there too, and on a sunny day the sound of a power washer just permeates the neighborhood for hours. Really adds to the charm of the place, no?

But back to the car lot. You know, the one in my BACKYARD?

That car lot hasn't been there long. In the five years we've been in this house, there has been a pet store, a home improvement business, and a different used car lot back there. Or maybe two car lots. I've lost count at this point.

The current car lot (which uses as its business name some generic "your credit is good here" sign which I'm pretty sure is copyrighted) has been there about six weeks.

About a week ago, Anna Marie complained that she couldn't sleep because a car horn kept going off. I figured one of the neighborhood cats or possums had triggered a car alarm, and that was par for the course.

But then - we came home Sunday night, and something like an 18-wheeler horn kept going off. I looked around for one (there aren't supposed to be any parked on the residential streets in town) but saw none. And then when I looked out my back door, I noticed lights on in the RV at the lot. And people moving around. And that horn kept going off, but I didn't call it in because I feel like I'm the only one who ever complains about such things in town.

(I know I'm not the only one who complains. I'm just sayin'.)

It stopped. And I thought maybe some teenagers had broken in there, but then this morning as we were leaving for school, I looked back there to find KIDS. With BACKPACKS. Also, I assume, leaving for school.

Someone is living over there, y'all. In an RV in a commercial zone. With kids. So I'm torn, because it's totally against the law to do that here, but there are KIDS. I don't want to put people out, not in this economy. I resolved to just let it slide, since maybe it was a temporary arrangement.

As long as there were no more horns involved.

So tonight, it started back up as I was trying to get Anna Marie down for bed. You know, in the room at the back of the house, just a few hundred feet from the car lot in my BACKYARD. And when I got finished tucking her in, I called the Sheriff's Department, and as the phone was ringing, I looked out my back door.

They were gone. GONE. I had not a clue what to tell that poor dispatcher, except that I was sorry I'd taken up his time. It wasn't the 911 line, just the regular number, but still.

OF COURSE THEY WERE GONE.

*Irony alert - part of my job is to go get the 911 dispatch logs and put the calls in the paper. Guess what I have to go do in the morning? I can't WAIT to see what they write about this call.

So, I feel really, really dumb. They were there, and now they aren't. And I've wasted a call to the dispatch office, which I now have the indignity to relive tomorrow morning when I read the log books.

It's like David Copperfield got all Las Vegas on that RV, and poof - thin air.

At least I called anonymously from my cell phone, so they won't know I was the crazy RV horn lady who called.

Edited to add: As I was finishing this up, guess what? THEY'RE BACK. And honkin' that horn like a boss! Boo-yeah, validation! Heck yeah, I called back. God a different dispatcher too. Guess I'd better go look out my back door one more time.

Who knew half a dozen sentences could be so hard?

2010-03-08T19:53:00.003-06:00

Know how, when you're waiting a minute or two on something (like, say, a pregnancy test or some microwaved popcorn), and it would normally go by really quickly, but it doesn't, because you're counting the seconds?

Yeah, helping a second grader write eight sentences about her favorite type of whale is just like that.

I write for a living. For me, pounding out eight sentences on a subject is no big deal. But between her utter lack of typing skills, and her penchant for being distracted, writing eight sentences on Killer Whales took an hour.

And we nearly came to blows when the photo of a whale (a requirement for the report) which I'd found wasn't deemed suitable by Her Redheadedness.

I had her leave the couch where we were sitting to work on the report, and sit on the floor on her hippo chair. Because I needed a minute to COOL DOWN, as it were.

But the report (which is due Thursday) is done. I still have to buy a folder to put it in, but that's no big deal - shopping I can handle.

Writing eight sentences with an eight-year-old? Not so much.

What? I have how many years until she graduates?

Somebody make me another pot of coffee. This is going to be a long decade.

Kroger shakedown!

2010-03-05T16:45:00.005-06:00

Special-Ops edition. Because I did my shopping in CAMO, and late at night!

We had a service entitled "Special Ops" at church on Sunday (where the pastor talked about our church's mission statement) and the choir all wore camo. Including me. Camo man pants to be exact, because I couldn't find any way-cheap camo LADY pants. The pastor and his wife rappelled out of the catwalk. The choir marched in to an old Carman song.

We sang some Stryper. It was all good.

I then walked around for about four hours, because we had our annual business meeting that night and never went home between services. So I had to wait until after 8 p.m., and I was WAY exhausted.

So my bleary-eyed, camo-clad crew and I made a mad dash through Kroger, and this is what happened:

2 cans of black beans
1 box of Krusteaz blueberry pancake mix
4 boxes of Nutri-grain bars
3 bottles of Wishbone dressing
3 cans of Red Gold tomatoes
1 bottle of Suave shampoo
1 bottle of Suave conditioner
2 bottles of Suave kids shampoo
1 stick of Suave deodorant
1 package of Glide floss
3 Cadbury eggs (OF COURSE)
1 gallon of chocolate milk (free, because I bought the four boxes of Nutri-grain bars)
5 lbs. of grapefruit
6 lbs. of clementines
1 bag of "overripe" bananas
2 boxes of Green Giant veggies (paper coupons plus Shortcuts)
1 Red Baron pizza

Total before coupons/sales: $79.31
Total after: $48.18
Total savings: $31.13 (41%)

Not as good as last week's, but the total is slightly deceiving - when clearance stuff, like those bananas, rings up, it doesn't calculate how much it WOULD have cost if it had been full price. They were 10 cents cheaper per pound because of their state of ripeness - which didn't really matter, because we ate them before they went bad anyway.

It looks like a really random assortment of groceries, but remember - stockpiling. That way I only buy what's on sale, and I have a rotation of groceries to go through.

I had also gone to Target that morning before church, and gotten two boxes of Kashi cereal and a box of Kashi bars for $5, thanks to a coupon I found on one of the boxes!

How sad is it that I'm really excited about March being Frozen Foods Month, and getting to stock my freezer on the cheap?

The road to bigger pants

2010-03-03T06:15:00.002-06:00

Is paved with good intentions.

I have a confession - it's been, ahem, several days since I've made it to the gym.

Now, don't get me wrong. I haven't been sitting on my "blessed assurance" and eating bonbons. One day last week, I was running behind and did a session on my Gazelle. One day, I spent an hour cleaning two rooms in my house. Saturday, we took the dogs on a LOOOONG walk, culminating in a trip to the groomers, and I also spent three hours preparing entries for a newspaper contest. Sunday, we had a service called "Special Ops," which entailed the choir dressing up in camo and marching in. (And practicing that marching in several times - more on that later) And then, we spent four hours walking around town so we would still be in the area for that evening's business meeting.

Monday, I was so exhausted from Sunday (and still sore from all that marching/walking) that I slept in. Yesterday, Jason went to work at 2 a.m. so I couldn't leave the house. And then, we come to today.

Apparently, my little short legs don't like to march much. Apparently, my knees like it even less. Because, since Sunday, I have had a "comes and goes" pain in them, and this morning, wouldn't you know it, it came. I can't walk around my house without pain, so I was a little leery of putting the knee through its paces at the gym.

I know I could take some ibuprofen and go on, but I'm more concerned about treating the actual cause, and not just the symptoms.

So, this morning, no gym. Again. Some housework, but no cardio.

Good intentions. I have them. And hopefully they won't bring me a bigger pair of pants.

Dear God,

2010-03-01T15:56:00.003-06:00

If you have a calendar up in Heaven, you know it's March 1.

Down here on earth, where the weather isn't a comfortable 72 degrees year round*, that means that winter needs to be over.

We, The Humans, are done with winter. Really. We don't need it anymore. You can have it back. We promise we took good care of it.

So, now that it's March, the weather can start to warm up and clear up and generally get nice and "pretty."

Keep up the good work!

xoxo,
Melissa

*We have a very toney suburb of Memphis, where the city keeps pretty strict tabs on what can/can't be done in the way of outdoor colors (down to blue trash cans instead of green because "they" think it looks better) and an old joke says that, in that town, it's a comfortable 72 degrees year-round.

(Guess you had to be {raised} there.)

Kroger Shakedown!

2010-02-25T20:55:00.002-06:00

Geez Louise. You'd think that being the owner of my very own computer for the first time since college would afford me LOADS more time to blog.

Yeah, not so much.

Granted, I didn't go grocery shopping at all on Valentine's weekend. Anna Marie had two different performances in two different counties that day, in addition to church. I was going to go on Monday night, but my brakes were acting up on my van and the weather turned unexpectedly bad, so I stayed myself to home.

I did go to Walgreens, and got three boxes of Kellogg's cereal (two of which I gave to my sister) for $1.66 each and two boxes of Pop Tarts (for Jason) for $1 each.

So.

This past weekend, I was determined that I was going to shop. And I was thankful that Uncle Sam had made a deposit into my checking account, because I knew I needed to spend twice as much for missing a week!

I will interject here that the cashier made some cryptic remark to me upon checkout, which I think she meant to say that people like me (with The Coupons) were responsible for grocery prices going up.

I don't believe that for a minute. I'm pretty sure the prices of raw materials, as well as the rising price of transportation, are what made the groceries get more expensive.

But I digress.

Here's the rundown for this week:

1 (8 pack) Bounty paper towels
4 bottles of Kraft bbq sauce
2 cans Chunky Healthy Request gumbo
1 box Betty Crocker muffin mix (paper coupon + Shortcuts)
4 bags Martha White muffin mix
1 box Capri Suns
4 boxes of Betty Crocker fruit snacks (paper coupons + Cellfire + Shortcuts)
1 box of Lipton pyramid-shaped tea bags
1 McCormick seasoning grinder
3 Chef Boyardee microwave bowls
6 cups of Yoplait (paper coupon + Cellfire)
2 (2 liters) of Coke Zero
2.11 lbs bananas
3.38 lbs. apples
1 package Murray sugar free cookies
2 boxes of Orville Redenbachers popcorn
4 packages of sliced meats (turkey and ham)(On sale, + buy 3, get 1 free coupon)
1 loaf Natures Own light bread
1 bag coffee filters
1 tub of Land O Lakes spread
2 cans of Suave Professionals mousse

Total before coupons/deals: $109.66
Total after coupons/deals: $57.13
Total savings: $52.53 (49 percent)

Kroger was running one of their "Buy 10 of these things, get $3 off" promotions, and I qualified for two of those (a total of $6 off).

On Monday, I went to our local grocery store here and picked up some reduced-for-quick-sale steaks, a small roast, some chicken breasts, a couple of cans of store-brand vegetables, a half gallon of milk, two boxes of Betty Crocker instant potatoes, and an 8 lb. bag of potatoes. I spent about $25 more on all that. I hate that I've spent that much on groceries this week, but I hadn't been in two weeks, so I guess it evens out.

We have our annual business meeting at church this Sunday, but I'm going to have to find time to shop because this is my week to work late every night (and Anna Marie has her basketball awards night on Tuesday, so I'll be out even later than usual.)

At least with my new netbook, I can surf the web from my bed when I get home!

Best.Valentine's.Ever.

2010-02-14T20:41:00.003-06:00

Sweet lawd, I've had an awesome Valentine's Day. Or days, since my celebrations started Friday night.

(I know there are some anti-Valentine's people out there. I am very sorry for you, because even if you either don't have a sweetheart, or think a day of forced affection is dumb, you can still celebrate love in general. You do love SOMEONE, right? RIGHT?)

Friday, Jason had to work unexpectedly, due to Tuesday's "weather situation" here in the Midsouth. He came home from work and, in a surprise move, said that my mom had offered her babysitting services if we wanted to go out for an early Valentine's date.

(Mom offering her services wasn't the surprise here. It was Jason wanting to go out after he'd been at work since 3 a.m.)

Somehow, we gathered our collective strength and went out to dinner at Logan's. Man, I love a good steak and a sweet potato!

When we got out to the parking lot to go home, he pulled out a huge red bag. Guess what was inside - can you guess? Well, can you?

Here's a hint: I'm typing on it right now!

That's right - he got me a netbook! A cute little 10" emachines, and I love it so much I'd probably marry it if I wasn't already spoken for.

(KIDDING, dear!)

But seriously? Having my own computer rocks. So many times I have to wait for Jason or Anna Marie to get off the desktop or the laptop before I can do something I need to do. No more! This baby is all mine!

(He gave it to me Friday night, because he knows me pretty well after all these years, and he correctly guessed that I'd be too distracted by the thought of a new toy during this morning's service to get anything out of it. He hit the nail on the head, as usual.)

Anna Marie had a look I can only describe as "crestfallen" when she saw it and realized it wasn't for her. I've never actually seen her so openly envious, and it made me very sad. I explained that it would keep her from having to wait for me to get done with one of the other computers, and that if I took good care of it, it might be passed down to her one day.

She was down with that.

Today, we had church, and Amanda met us at Cici's afterwards for lunch. We had some really good coupons (naturally) and I figured it was Anna Marie's turn to get a Valentine's treat, so we went to one of her favorite places. Amanda brought the dozen toffee bars I'd ordered Jason from her job, and surprised me with a dozen of their famous "pucker up" lemon mini cupcakes and Anna Marie with a little apron and a box filled with "love potion" cookies and a "baby pie."

Yes, we're all going to have horrible sugar hangovers in the morning. Did I mention that I'd already gotten Anna Marie a little box of chocolates this morning, or that she had a whole bag left over from school Friday? Or that Jason asked me to bake him a caramel cake last night?

We're all going to need a detox tomorrow. This might possibly be worse than Christmas.

Anna Marie also had her dance class's annual performance at a nursing home, and a handbell/choir concert tonight. Amanda came down to do laundry and spend time with The Kid, and they had a couple of rousing games of Battleship between them.

We have been busy, busy folks today.

It's raining/snowing again outside, and I'm not even sure if we'll have school tomorrow. The temperatures are supposed to drop into the mid-20's, and I'm a little worried about all that precipitation on the roads freezing.

At least if we get snowed in, we'll have plenty of sugar calories to sustain us.

Editor's note: Don't worry about Jason only getting toffee bars while I got a netbook. He's got a surprise winging its way from Amazon.com, if the weather will allow it to come through!

Kroger shakedown!

2010-02-12T16:03:00.003-06:00

Yep, I went shopping this week. But this weather has us all thrown for a loop, so I'm just now getting around to posting my list.

I didn't get to go on my normal day, Sunday, because we were CRAZY busy. Our service at church was (way awesome and) football themed. Then, Anna Marie had a cousin's birthday party at a bowling alley. And finally, our small group had a Super Bowl party that night.

Like I said, crazy busy.

So, I had every intention of going Monday night, but when I stepped out the door headed towards the gym on Monday morning (in an attempt to work off the pizza/hotwings/brownies of the day before) I was greeted with the aforementioned snow. And I was all, "Huh? It wasn't supposed to snow!" But it did. And it was way messy outside. And I only worked for three hours, because I had AM with me while Jason went to Memphis.

And then when he got home after lunch - he took me to Kroger! Honestly, we didn't HAVE to have food on Monday, thanks to my stockpile. But it sure was nice!

Here's how my trip went:

3 boxes of Nature Valley granola bars (paper coupons, plus Cellfire/Shortcuts)
1 box of Capri Sun Roaring Waters
1 bag of Ronzoni whole wheat egg noodles
1 jar of Hardeez Salsa
1 bottle of Country Bob's steak sauce (for my dad - it's his favorite, and I had a coupon for a free bottle!)
2 packages of Kraft 2% cheese singles
1 box of Philly 1/3 less fat cream cheese
1 bottle of Softsoap
3 Cadbury caramel eggs (guess who THOSE were for?)
1 bottle of Sunny D fruit smoothie
2 bottles of Big K Diet Ginger Ale
3 2-liters of Pepsi products
1 20 oz Coke Zero (to go with his caramel eggs, of course!)
3.45 lbs of "ripe" bananas (at 39 cents a pound, and some were organic)
2.97 lbs of jonagold apples
2 bags of Green Giant steamers broccoli and cheese
4 boxes of Toaster Strudels (I'm set for about six months now)
2 bags of Chex Mix (paper coupons plus Cellfire for these)
2 boxes of Pop Secret 94% fat free popcorn
1 bag of Poppycock
1 package of Butterball turkey smoked sausage

Total before coupons: $88.34
Total after coupons: $40.76
Total savings: $47.58 (56%)

They were having their Mega Event again this week, so I saved $10 right there. I got home and realized I could have had a couple more Cellfire and Shortcuts coupons loaded on my card, but that would have been another $1.00 or so, and the trip was really a spur-of-the-moment thing.

One of the other "perks" I've noticed to all this couponing (besides eating at home more, because we have food available to us) is the savings on gas. Kroger gives 10 cents off per gallon with every 100 points you earn, and I get points based on my before-coupon savings, not my out-of-pocket expense. So Jason fills up at least once a month on the cheaper gas. Score!

I'd also like to give a "shout out" to my college chum Kathy Garvin, a fellow English major who started with The Grocery Game this week. She saved over 50% on her first trip! She's promised me her first-born son as a thank-you, but I'm sure she's gotten pretty attached to him by now - and I haven't clipped any Pullups coupons!

They're forecasting more snow for this weekend up here. I don't know what I'm going to do if Anna Marie has to miss any more school - at this point, we'll be looking at making the days up on Saturdays!

So much for "GLOBAL WARMING."

2010-02-09T12:39:00.002-06:00

Hmph.

Someone needs to tell Al Gore that his little "Oh, no, the earth is about to burn up" scheme isn't working so well.

Anna Marie just had her FOURTH snow day of this year - as in, 2010.

School has been in session for just about a month, and already they've spent four of those days at home due to snow. She went back today, but some of our surrounding school systems are still out.

Currently, it's about 20 degrees COLDER than usual out there. It's barely above freezing.

As in, it's really, really, ridiculously cold out there - not above average. Not even average. Just really, really cold.

What do you have to say about that, Mr. Gore? Hmmm?

Maybe when it thaws out a little bit around here, we can have a little chat.

So, on Tuesday I knew…

2010-02-04T12:57:00.003-06:00

What lies in the shadow of the statue.

On Wednesday, I knew…

not much else.

I don't know how many LOSTIES there are reading this, so all I'm going to say about this subject is that, while I did learn a few things from the premier, I was not as blown away by awesomeness as I was when I watched last season's finale.

I'm trusting that the writers know what they're doing. WE SHALL SEE.

•••

What I did know on Wednesday, though, was that I'd apparently only gotten three hours of sleep.

Someone asked me if it was caffeine, or maybe LOST, and someone else asked me if it was anxiety. Honestly, I don't know. It's just that sometimes, when I lie down to sleep, my heart starts to beat really, really hard - not fast, just HARD - and it keeps me from settling down and resting.

In retrospect, I think it was probably adrenalin. I had been going hard at it all day Tuesday. I had more to get done than I had time to do it, and miraculously, it got done.

Observe my schedule:

• Get Anna Marie off to school
• Find her a belt, because the pants she was wearing were too big and she forgot to grab one on the way out. I went back home and couldn't find one either, so, in the 15 minutes I had before I had to be back at the school to read to a couple of kindergarteners I help on Tuesdays I ran to Walmart, picked up a two-pack, and got to the school ON TIME.
• At the school, I had them summon Anna Marie to the office, and while she was putting on her belt she reminded me that I'd forgotten to give her any lunch money! "It's OK, mom, Ms. Sandy (her teacher) said she'd pay for it." Well, I had my checkbook, so I sent her back with her lunch funds for this month. Thanks, though, Ms. Sandy!
• Read to both of my kindergarteners
• Ran to the vet's office to pick up some Heartguard for the dogs
• Made it to work by 9 a.m.
• Wrote some stuff, answered some phone calls, sent/received some emails
• At lunch, I ran home to give the dogs their meds, and eat a bite myself
• Went to my favorite consignment shop to try and find Anna Marie a football team shirt to wear for our special service on Sunday (no luck)
• Drove across town to a sporting goods store, found her an Ole Miss shirt on clearance for $6
• Made it back to work ON TIME.
• Worked a few more hours, and went to a city board meeting which, miraculously, let out in time for me to get to my Women's Ministries meeting at church
• Drove half an hour to the town where the church is, grabbed a sandwich at Subway, and made it to the church (just about five minutes late)
• Spent about half an hour after the meeting, discussing my passion for saving money (and sanity) with coupons
• Drove home
• Hurriedly laid out my clothes for the next day, started a load of laundry, fixed my coffee pot up, and spent the next hour and a half watching LOST on the DVR.

Is there any wonder why I had trouble calming down after all that? My last cup of coffee had been around 4 p.m., and it was nearly 11 when I got to bed, but Amanda assures me that caffeine can stay in your system up to 12 hours.

I took two Benadryl last night to help my system calm down, and I did sleep better, but I'm still recovering from Tuesday.

If anyone has any suggestions as to what might be happening, I'd be glad to hear them!

I know…

2010-02-02T10:17:00.003-06:00

What lies in the shadow of the statue!

Yay for the LOST premier - and since I'll probably be watching it on the DVR later tonight, I'll be avoiding the internet from the time it starts until I see it!

Kroger Shakedown!

2010-01-30T15:58:00.003-06:00

Yes, it's a day early. Kroger is having a three-day sale, so our Listmaker at The Grocery Game put up a list today. There will be another tomorrow with the Sunday inserts, but it was worth it to me to go today.

Also, I don't normally make a special trip because the nearest Kroger is 14 miles away, but Jason needed a part for the Jeep from an auto parts store up there so we went. (We also took my mom, so she helped keep Anna Marie occupied. Grammas FTW!)

This was one of the best weeks I'd had in a LONG time. I now am officially out of space in my cabinets - which isn't saying much. I'll have to take a picture some time, so y'all know how truly limited my space is!

One of the great things about this week was the Mega Event, where you buy 10 of a certain group of items and get an extra $5 off. Usually they let you do that three times (getting a total of $15 off) and for the first time, I did the limit!

Here's how my trip went:

1 bottle of Kroger brand cleaner with bleach
1 box of Capri Sun Roaring Waters
2 cans of evaporated milk
1 box of Krusteaz muffin mix (low fat cranberry orange - yum!)
3 boxes of Fiber One Bars (I had three paper coupons, plus one Cell Fire and one Shortcuts coupon loaded on my Kroger card)
2 bottles of French's yellow mustard
2 bottles of French's honey mustard dip
1 bottle of Frank's Red Hot
4 boxes of Kraft mac and cheese (Sponge Bob edition - Anna Marie hasn't realized that yet!)
2 cans of Hormel Turkey Chili
3 cans of Hunts Diced Tomatoes (I had a paper coupon and a Shortcuts coupon on my card)
2 packages of Kraft shredded 2% milk cheese
1 package of Philadelphia 1/3 less fat cream cheese (for my mom, who was only getting a couple of things and not doing the Mega Event)
1 Cadbury caramel egg (for Jason, natch)
1 20 oz. Coke Zero (also, of course, for Jason)
1 dozen eggs (the kind from chickens, not bunnies this time)
5 six packs of half-liter Coke products (for Jason to sell at the auction, so I'll get this $10 back)
1 2-liter caffeine free Diet Pepsi
2.65 lbs of bananas
1 four-pound bag of navel oranges
1 red onion
2 bell peppers
1 box of Ritz crackers
2 boxes of Cheeze-its
1 box of whole wheat saltines
1 bag of Quaker Quakes (which I realized I DIDN'T use a coupon for, so I could have saved another 75 cents! Ugh!)
1 package Johnsonville turkey sausages
1 package light hot dog buns
2 boxes of Toaster Strudel (I had a paper coupons plus a Shortcuts loaded on my card)
1 box of Success boil-in-bag rice (for free, thanks to an email from someone at their PR firm who saw my post about buying the Kroger brand on THIS BLOG and sent me a coupon! Score!)

Total before coupons/sale: $116.75
Total after coupons/sale: $49.56
Total savings: $67.19 (59%)

As Stacy London says (because I've been watching a What Not to Wear marathon today):
SHUT THE FRONT DOOR! Who pays over $100 for that many groceries? (If that's YOU, then we need to do an intervention, hon.) The $15 Mega Event savings isn't taken off until the cashier hits the total button, and before she did it was $94! That plus the coupons brought the total down to less than half.

I do still need some cereal for myself, and Walmart has their pizzas on sale for less than Kroger this week (thanks to the Super Bowl) so I'll get one there for Jason and Anna Marie to have while I work Tuesday night. I'd also like to stop by Aldi tomorrow after church to pick up some turkey meatballs so I can make some Hawaiian meatballs this week. I have several bottles of barbeque sauce in the cabinet that I got for next-to-nothing a few months ago, plus those pineapples I got for 24 cents a can last week and the (FREE) Success Rice. Just add some bell peppers, and we've got ourselves an inexpensive, healthy meal.

But still - I will come out having spent about $50 of my own money, and have really enough food to last two weeks if I needed (or more.)

I love stockpiling!

Book review: The Gospel According to LOST

2010-01-29T13:26:00.002-06:00

How stoked am I about this book, and next week's premier?

PRETTY DANG STOKED!!!!!

So, thankfully, I finished this book in the nick of time. And I have some free time, since there's a terrible winter storm outside, our bosses are all off at a conference, and we got out of work early because of the weather. I sit here on my bed, typing on the laptop my mom so graciously loaned us because Jason's is in the shop, in my VELOUR JUMPSUIT!

As soon as I get myself a cup of hot tea, my life will be perfect.

I am so glad I read The Gospel According to LOST by Chris Seay before the new season started. I just started watching LOST last year, just before the end of the fifth season (and I caught up all five seasons in just a couple of months) so I needed something to help tie the show's rather convoluted plots together.

This book filled that bill quite nicely.

Seay analyzes several of the main characters, showing us how each one shows us something from the Gospel. Although I'm quite sure the creators of the show aren't particularly religious, there are many influences from Christianity throughout the series. Seay helps dissect the characters and their motivations, and tie in all of the symbolism woven into the plot. Seay is a fan of the show, and it shows in the care and respect he takes with the material

He uses the stories in LOST much like Jesus did - as parables to teach us precepts in a practical way.

If you are looking for a way to get even more out of your viewing of LOST and talk to other LOSTIES about it in a faith-centered way, you can pick up your copy

here or here.

Kroger shakedown!

2010-01-25T09:41:00.002-06:00

Two weeks worth, that is.

Yes, I went grocery shopping last week, but "life" got in the way of me posting this. But don't fear! I'm making it up to you this week.

You're welcome!

Last week, I stopped at Aldi and picked up a couple of things I knew I could get cheaper there - like a couple of cans of black beans, and some canned diced tomatoes - because they weren't on sale at Kroger.

That being said, here is my list from January 17:

2 boxes of Swiss Miss cocoa
3 cans of Hunts tomatoes (I thought I had a Shortcuts coupon, but a check of my receipt revealed it didn't work!)
2 packages of Dole diced peaches
4 cans of Campbell soup
1 package of Fleishman's margarine
1/2 gallon of milk
2 packages of Danimals smoothies
1 package of Danimals crush cups
3 lbs. of bananas
1 Kroger brand pizza (for Jason and Anna Marie when I worked late)
1 bag of Birdseye peas
2 bunches of green onions
1 box of Nabisco 100 Calorie chocolate covered pretzels
4 Armour lunchables
1 loaf Natures Own light bread
2 bags of some new snacks called Riceworks, which are a little like a cross between a Dorito and a Wheat Thin. (I had two coupons, but they weren't on sale, and I realized later that they were cheaper at Walmart. Boo!)

Total before coupons/sales: $65.05
Total after coupons/sales: $37.26
Total savings: $27.79 (44%)

Now, for yesterday's rundown:

2 bottles of Heinz Ketchup
4 (8 oz) cans of Dole pineapple
2 cans of Rosarita refried beans
2 packages of Ortega taco seasoning
1 package Folgers Gourmet Selections Hazelnut coffee
1 can of diced tomatoes
1 can of black beans
1 Hersheys bar (for Anna Marie)
1 Reeses big cup (for Jason - I've got to stop going shopping with those two in tow!)
1 20 oz. Coke Zero (you guessed it - for Jason)
2.57 lbs. bananas
3.11 lbs. Granny Smith apples
1 bag of Clementines
2 DiGiorno 200-calorie pizzas
1 full-sized DiGiorno pizza (for The Redheads, because I have to work tonight)
2 boxes of popcorn
2 packages of Hillshire Farms meat

Total before coupons/savings: $67
Total after coupons/savings: $38.59
Total savings: $28.41 (44%)

Since Jason and I ended our meat fast yesterday, I will probably hit up our local supermarket for a Boston Butt and some chicken breasts that are on sale this week.

My cabinet is getting full again, and my freezer will be that way soon - yay for stockpiling!

True story!

2010-01-12T06:05:00.000-06:00

(Man, every time I hear those words, I think of the Los Angeles season of The Real World and that guy from Kentucky named Jon, who said "True story" in a sing-song, twangy voice in the intro each week. True story!)

Anna Marie her-own-self requested, nay, insisted that I put this on the web.

And because she's an only child, of course, I am. Because I can't buy her that Wii she's wanting (darn you, speeding tickets and car tires and faltering economy that ate up our savings!) but I can put her stories on my blog.

Sunday night as she was getting ready for bed, we were in the living room, where one whole wall is taken up almost completely by three large windows looking out onto the front lawn. She looked out the window and kept saying, "What is that red thing, that's metal, with a cushion, outside?" She was acting pretty alarmed, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out what she was talking about.

"Mom! Red, cushion, metal! Outside!"

I was pretty perplexed, and getting a little worried. All I saw was snow and the occasional cat walking through.

I made my way closer to where she was, and realized it was the reflection of her little red folding chair in the window. She thought it was HILARIOUS, and started to do the same thing with her blue chair.

And then - "Mom, PLEASE put this on the internet. You HAVE to put this on the internet! PLEASE!"

Oh, Anna Marie!

Know what this blog has been missing?

2010-01-07T12:00:00.002-06:00

Yeah, that should just about cover it.

Oh, and a little smidge of these guys too -

Happy Thursday, y'all!

Book review: Living with Confidence in a Chaotic World

2010-01-07T06:01:00.002-06:00

(Yay! Another book review from me! I know you must be really excited.)

Over the past couple of months, I've been reading Dr. David Jeremiah's book Living with Confidence in a Chaotic World. It's a very topical book, which references many of the dramatic events which took place over the past year.

It's easy to let our hearts be troubled when we see record unemployment; the collapse of the housing market, financial sector, and automotive industry; and people sneaking onto airplanes with explosives in their pants.

But that's just what Jesus commanded us not to do - and Dr. Jeremiah outlines several ideas for keeping our hearts and minds calm: stay calm, stay compassionate, stay constructive, stay consistent, and so on.

Ultimately, he says, the chaos in our world points to Jesus' second coming - but if our hearts are prepared, we have nothing to fear.

You can pick up your copy here or here.

New Years Shop-stravaganza!

2010-01-03T18:33:00.003-06:00

Happy New Year, y'all! I got (just about all) my grocery shopping done today! HOLLA!

Jason and I drove separate cars to church this morning, something I don't enjoy doing (since the church is 20 miles away), but I also don't enjoy having to have myself and Anna Marie ready to be there by 8:15 (when he had to be there) when we don't have to be there until about 10:15.

Catch my drift?

Well, today afforded me a great opportunity, because Anna Marie rode home with her dad and I got to shop alone! Oh happy day!

Since there were so many coupons in this week's paper, we bought both a Commercial Appeal (the Memphis paper) and a Clarion-Ledger (the Jackson, MS paper) so I wouldn't miss any. Red Plum no longer inserts in the Memphis paper, but mails their coupons directly. Except, they don't mail down here where I live - so the only way I get their inserts is if my sister, who lives in Memphis, remembers to save them and then get them to me in a timely manner. I discovered a few weeks ago, though, that they DO still insert in the Jackson paper. So today I got both!

(I got the Memphis paper also, because it has circulars for stores that are local, and Jackson doesn't.)

Two of the inserts had coupons for $2.50 off Electrasol tabs. And what do you know? Target's circular said they had those very same items for $3.49! And what else do you know, but I had a $5 Target card from buying dog food there last week!

So - I stopped at Target, which was next to the Kroger I was shopping at. And found the regular Electrasol tabs (not those high-falutin Quantam things) for $3.23. I got two boxes for $0.63 each!

Here is the total rundown of my Target trip:

2 boxes of Electrasol tabs
1 bag Baked Doritos
1 pks. Act II 94% Fat Free Popcorn
1 box of Target brand juice pouches
1 package of Folgers Caramel Drizzle coffee (my one splurge!)

Total before coupons/sales/gift card: $19.53
Total after coupons/sales/gift card: $8.97

I saved $10.55 - over 50%!

Next, I went to Kroger. Three things happened that threw off my mojo: my mother called, and I left my list somewhere (later discovered to be the van). I already had my coupons laid out in my folder, so I used those as a guide to what I needed.

The third thing was that our church is starting 21 days of fasting and prayer tomorrow, and Jason and I have decided to fast meat, so I had to buy some staple-type things to make meatless meals - potatoes, beans, rice, etc. Last year he also fasted meat, so in consideration of him I didn't cook any at home anyway.

(Lest you thing that giving up meat isn't much of a sacrifice, remember we're talking about the Chicken King and the Hamburger Queen. And our local grocery store has Boston Butts on sale this week, and I won't be buying one. The sacrifice starts already!)

I'm not real impressed with my performance at Kroger, but I think the Target trip (and my trip to Walgreens, which I'll explain later) kind of make up for it.

Kroger rundown:

2 cans of Progresso soup (they were on clearance, and I had a paper coupon and a Shortcuts coupon loaded on my card, so these were only $0.25 each!)
1 box Kroger boil-in-bag brown rice
1 box Kellogs Corn Flakes with Honey (on clearance, plus my coupon, means it cost me $0.09!)
2 cans of black-eyed peas
3 cans of black beans
1 can of diced tomatoes
2 packages of Betty Crocker Cornbread Mix (I wanted the Jiffy Mix that was 3/$1 but they were all sold out and I didn't want to mess with rain checks.)
1 can of Chili Magic
1 package of Kroger 2% milk shredded cheddar
1/2 gallon milk
1 box Hershey's 100 Calorie chocolate-covered pretzel bars
1 dozen eggs
1 20-oz Coke Zero (Hey, I was thirsty, OK?)
3 lbs. Clementines
2.91 lbs. bananas
1.67 lbs. Granny Smith apples
1 Kroger cheese pizza (for Jason and Anna Marie when I work late Tuesday)
10 lbs. potatoes
2 Lunchmakers (on sale, but not by much)
1 loaf Natures Own light bread

Total before coupons/sales: $49.56
Total coupons/sales: $10.49
Total after: $37.07 (only 23%)

In my defense, that total does not take into account the soup or the Corn Flakes, both of which were on clearance (only the clearance price is listed on the receipt, not the regular price).

Now, for Walgreens. I did this before dinner tonight, because I wanted to get all of my shopping over with for the week. I have to work late several nights, and they're calling for a significant amount of snow mid-week, so I didn't want to have to get back into the store if I didn't have to.

I may end up going back later, though, because they have their Progresso soup 4/$5, and I have two coupons for 50 cents off two, so they'd be $1 a can. Also, if you spend $10 on this group of products, you get $3 in Register Rewards, so that helps.

Anyway - I had $6 in RR from last week. And their Smuckers Jelly and Jif Peanut Butter were on 2/$4. And I had two coupons for $1 when you bought both the PB and the J.

And I left that store with two jars of Jif and two squeeze bottles of Smuckers for $0.56!

(And I had to bum 6 cents off the cashier, because I'd miscalculated how much tax I'd need and only brought two quarters!)

So there you have it - I spent $46.60, and saved $35.09 - nearly 50%. I'm a little down about that Kroger trip, but I know I got a lot of groceries. I'm not used to doing all of my shopping in one day, and I kind of like getting a more complete picture of what I've gotten and what I've spent.

Hopefully, we won't get snowed in around here!

Walgreens, Part Deux

2009-12-29T12:47:00.002-06:00

It's so cold outside, I'm thinking of hightailing it to Arizona.

I'm only half joking. I really hate being cold.

However, I also hate missing a good deal. And so I ventured into Walgreens again during my lunch break, braving the cold for the miserable few seconds it took to get from my van to the front door.

Oh, the sacrifices I make for my family!

Here's today's rundown:

1 bottle of Tide
1 gallon of milk
1 can of Febreeze Air Effects
3 12-packs of drinks
1 pack of Swiffer dusters
2 boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch
1 box of Magic Erasers (I LOVE THESE THINGS!)

Total before coupons/sale: $47.86
Total coupon/sale savings: $22.29
Total after coupons/sales: $25.57

That's nearly 50% savings! I also got $6 in Register Rewards to use last time. Unfortunately, I thought I was getting an additional $2.50 in RR, but I forgot their policy about using RR from the same manufacturer. Because I used the Tide coupon, I couldn't earn the RR on the other P&G products. Bummer!

Guess my $6 back will have to do - and I guess I'll stay out of Walgreens for a few days!

The Walgreens (something or other)

2009-12-28T14:30:00.002-06:00

(If I'm going to do this on a regular basis, I need to come up with a catchy name for my Walgreens posts. Any suggestions?)

Hey there! Hope you had a good Christmas - mine was spent eating the Buddy The Elf way - sugar, sugar, and more sugar.

(That's partially thanks to Amanda's new job at Muddy's Bake Shop in Memphis, and the fact that they're closed this week, and their policy of telling the employees on Christmas Eve to divide up whatever was left in the cases and take it home.)

(With names like Pucker Up, Prozac, and Oodelolly, how could I not?)

Anyway, I'm now off Buddy's plan and on to something a little more adult - if it's not good for me, I'm not putting it into my mouth.

So there.

And so after my healthy lunch today, I hit up Walgreens. And by "hit up" I mean "totally decimated with my mad couponing skillz.

(Editor's note: I didn't go to Kroger this week, and probably won't, as I was less than impressed with the continuation of last week's sale.)

Here's the breakdown:

• Bounty paper towels (6 big rolls)
• Charmin toilet tissue (6 big rolls)
• Gilette body wash
• Zest body wash
• Playtex rubber gloves
• Two boxes of Tampax Pearl
• Two boxes of Crest Whitening toothpaste
• Two bottles of Dawn dish detergent
• A bottle of Olay in-shower body lotion

Total before coupons/sales: $59.32
Total coupons/sales: $30.19
Total paid: $29.13

The best part? I also scored a coupon for a FREE bottle of Tide detergent, which I'm going to run back to Walgreens tomorrow at lunch to redeem. I love free stuff!

Here's to a happy, and coupon-filled, New Year for everyone!

II Cor. 4:8-9

2009-12-21T16:16:00.003-06:00

I have a friend at church named Holley who has a pretty neat thing she does every morning: she has an enormous list of text message contacts, and she sends everyone a Bible verse every day, about the same time of morning.

More often than not, it's kinda eerie how well the verse lines up with what I'm experiencing. Today was no exception.

I started to have trouble with my car last week, and yesterday, it actually ran hot - despite the fact that it was about 40 degrees out, and we were headed down the interstate at about 75 miles an hour.

Turns out, it was completely out of coolant, which is odd - it's leaving the system somewhere, but we haven't figured out where.

This morning, though, I think I figured out where it's going.

As I went to the gym, I noticed that not only did the "check engine" light BLINK, and continue to BLINK, the whole way there, the amount of white smoke pouring from my exhaust pipe was just not normal. The car wasn't running well at all.

For those of you who don't know, there are basically two places that coolant could be going - either onto the ground (which we couldn't find any evidence of) or through the engine and out the tailpipe, as the result of a problem with one of the heads, like a leaky gasket or - GASP - a blown head.

I tried to work out (thank God for my iPod, not only for the uplifting music it provided, but also because I could turn it up and drown out the 98 lb. guy grunting on one of the weight machines) and headed home. I noticed the "smoke" had an odd smell.

After I summoned Jason from a warm bed to check on the situation, he said, "It doesn't smell like coolant, it smells like oil."

Um, I'm just the daughter of a humble mechanic, but in my experience, OIL isn't any better smell for exhaust than COOLANT is.

Houston, as it is said, we have a problem.

I walked to work, as Jason took the only other automatic-transmission vehicle we have to Memphis to pick up supplies for the auction. I was feeling really, really down - I even cried when I was feeding the dogs - and then my office mate, Amber, placed a red velvet box on my desk.

It contained a really cute pair of pearl drop earrings - we had our office Christmas breakfast this morning, and we were supposed to give money to the animal shelter instead of buying gifts for each other, but Amber must have been feeling generous because there they were.

And something about her gesture just totally lifted my spirits. I'm ashamed to admit that, because somehow I should be able to get out of the dumps without jewelry, but hey, I'm human. I like shiny things! It wasn't just the jewelry that did it, though - I guess it was her thinking of me.

And then I remembered Holley's verse for today: II Cor. 4:8,9 -

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."

I may be hard pressed in the transportation department right now, but I'm not crushed. I may be perplexed because I'm having these difficulties, but I'm not in despair. I feel persecuted, but I'm not abandoned, and the weight of my circumstances may strike me down, but I'm not destroyed.

I've got the van-formerly-known-as-the-amazing-technicolor-dream-van to drive, and after Christmas, we'll see what kind of hook-up my dad can get me for a good deal on machining those heads.

And I'm going to look back on this day as a testament that even though not everything goes right all the time, God can still help us get through it.

I really need to blog, but …

2009-12-18T11:16:00.002-06:00

- The dishwasher needs loaded/unloaded/reloaded

- There is a pile of laundry as tall as my kid waiting on me.

- I have my big Christmas projects to do at work.

- FACEBOOK!

- The lights on the Christmas tree went out, AGAIN.

- The dogs are barking at the squirrels in the trees above them.

- The dogs are barking at the new dogs two doors down.

- The dogs are barking at the air.

- My sister just got a fabulous new job at a fabulously funky bakery and I NEED to go try one of those Pucker Up Cupcakes she posted pictures of on her blog.

(HAVE MERCY!)

- I still have to get a gift for my mother-in-law, who lives 500 miles away and is IMPOSSIBLE to buy for.

- Did I mention, FACEBOOK?

Yes, gentle readers, things are moving right along in Melz World. Thanks to two separate Turners (Anna Marie and ME) having not only Christmas musicals two weekends in a row, but stomach viruses the weekend of each respective musical performance, I feel like I've just lost half of December.

(Why do they call it the "24 hour" virus anyway? Because it took me about three days to fully recover from mine!)

I do, by the way, have a photo of the tree taken during the 24-hours when all the lights were working - but my parents borrowed my camera last weekend, and haven't returned it yet.

(My mom has this rather complicated system set up with one of her sisters, you see. The sister has a long list of health problems and an even longer Christmas list, so my mom does all her shopping/wrapping/shipping for her. The camera is to take pictures of the gifts before they're wrapped, so the aunt can see what she paid for without my mom having to load everything up and haul it to my aunt's first.)

Anna Marie's Christmas break is scheduled to start in about 20 minutes, and it's two weeks of sleeping later/no backpacks/no lunches to worry about! Yippee!

Haul out the holly, Y'all!

There shall be showers of blessings

2009-12-05T07:07:00.003-06:00

When my mom was a kid, she and her sisters (and many nieces of the same age) took piano from the same teacher. It was an older woman whose house, apparently, was overrun by cats (and smelled that way). She must have been a bang-up teacher, though, because everyone in my family who took lessons from her is a pretty superb piano player.

One of my uncles, who has now "moved away to be with God" (as my mom says) was know for his wit in our family. Maybe he was just jealous because my Papaw didn't think the boys needed piano lessons, but he never thought the girls were learning anything at theirs.

"All y'all ever do is learn another chord to 'There Shall Be Showers of Blessings' each week," he'd say.

Jealous much?

***

That bit of fun family trivia is NOT what this post is about. But the title does mean something!

Yesterday, Jason FINALLY received a couple of checks he'd been waiting on for some work he'd done. (And none too soon, let me tell you!) I came home from work a little early, and he was (frustratedly) trying to light the 1/3 of our pre-lit tree which has now gone dark.

The same tree he'd spent three hours working on LAST Friday. Yeah, I think this is it's last Christmas at the Turner house.

He suggested we go to Southaven, a town about half an hour from here (just south of Memphis) where there is all manner of things to do - Target, restaurants, Sam's Club, that sort of thing.

I was driving, and asking him where we were eating dinner. Of course, he had no input, but since it was freezing outside I wanted something that would stick to my ribs (and maybe dinner by a nice fireplace?)

Cracker Barrel it was.

It was pretty early in the evening, so we didn't have to wait for a table. We were seated right by the fireplace, and next to the checkers table, so after our orders were taken Anna Marie and I had ourselves a little game.

(She won. Obviously. My dad taught her everything about that game that she knows.)

We waited for our food (and for the biscuits and cornbread which Jason had requested). We waited. And we waited. And we waited.

And seriously, because of our checkers game, I hadn't really noticed the time. Plus, Anna Marie had ordered a hamburger, which always takes a little longer.

Finally, our waitress, Ursula (a middle-aged German lady with a neat accent), came by to say that the hamburger was holding up production and our food would be out momentarily. And also, would we like some biscuits while we were waiting?

Jason had to stifle his laughter at that last question.

A few more minutes pass (yes, she brought the biscuits this time) and the manager comes by. Seems our ticket had gotten lost in the back, and our food had not been made!

"We're very sorry, but we're working on it now, and dinner will be on me."

Now, our dinner probably wouldn't have been more than $15 anyway - Jason also ordered a kids meal, and I just had a bowl of pinto beans - but WOHOO!

As we left, Anna Marie said, "Doesn't dad have to pay for our food?"

Obviously, she wasn't listening.

Still high on our dinner blessing, we went to the nearby Target. Jason had told me that he wanted a new wireless keyboard/mouse for Christmas, because the one we currently have is so old that it isn't working with the Windows 7 upgrade on the desktop.

"I miss my volume button on the keyboard!" he lamented.

Well, Anna Marie and I were in a different part of the store, and met up with him. He was carrying a wireless keyboard/mouse combination.

"You are going to wrap this and put this under the tree," he said. "It's normally $30, but it's on sale for $15 until tomorrow."

Hooray for checking one more present off my list!

After the week I've had - Anna Marie isn't too keen on wearing long sleeved shirts, and she's been pretty vocal about it, so we've had a bit of a rough time, plus my sinuses are giving me fits and I haven't slept much - those two little gems really made my night.

There shall be showers of blessings . . .

Living on the edge

2009-11-30T10:52:00.002-06:00

(I've had that song going through my head since yesterday morning at choir, when the Music Minister told us to come to the edge of the risers. They aren't really choir risers, so they're much too wide, and we needed to concentrate our sound. I started singing it when he said that, and he started singing along! Guess he was thinking it too.)

(But I digress.)

I'm not living on the edge, unless you mean "the edge of how much food I can squeeze out of my house without going to the store."

Y'all, I have not been "for real" grocery shopping in over two weeks! Talk about living off my stockpile - my cupboards are looking a bit bare!

Truthfully, I was not real impressed with Kroger's sales these past two weeks. I didn't need a turkey (since we didn't host Thanksgiving, and Jason will only buy the breast anyway) and I'm not a big from-scratch baker, so there wasn't a whole lot for me.

It helped that we had Thanksgiving dinner at church last Sunday night (so no cooking for me), and ate so much Thursday at my Aunt Esther's house that we didn't eat dinner that night (ditto for last night, when she hosted her granddaughter's third birthday party), and we ate smoked turkey provided by my parents on Friday night. And I don't have to cook Tuesday night, because I'm going to our church's Women's Ministries Christmas banquet.

(I hit the gym HARD this morning, y'all! I have to go to the doctor for a checkup in a couple weeks, and it'll be the first time I've stepped on a scale in months, so I'm super motivated!)

I did get some milk at Sam's last night on the way home from the party, and last week one of our local store had Del Monte canned vegetables for $0.39 a can, including the no-salt varieties, so I got a few of those. I picked up two boxes of Kelloggs Frosted Mini Wheats at Walgreens last week for $1.50 each, and Jason made pancakes a couple of nights on the NEW electric griddle he bought last week!

I ran by Walmart this morning, and picked up a Jennie-O Turkey Roast (with a coupon) and some already-sliced ham that was on for a good price. Jason is supposed to order some chicken breasts for us from the food service, since they have a really good price and he likes their uniform portion sizes. Hopefully, that will get me through until this weekend so I can shop for real!

We had a really, really good Thanksgiving this year. Maybe the best yet. And I realized something that never quite hit me before - no matter how bad things were financially around my house growing up (and believe me, they got pretty bad) I never had to worry about what I was going to eat for Thanksgiving dinner. Whether it was God's provision or my mom's big family dinner (or a little of both) we never went without.

I may have missed a meal because I was too busy, but I've never missed a meal because I couldn't afford food to eat. And that, my friends, is something to be truly thankful for.

Donut be sad, part deux

2009-11-20T08:18:00.002-06:00

Y'all.

Y'all, y'all, y'all.

Those of you FB peeps already know this, but I had ANOTHER tire go flat on the interstate this week. Back passenger's side.

Wednesday night, to be exact. Just like last time. Except this time, it was dark, and getting cold, and Jason wasn't with me.

And instead of choir practice, I was on my way to Courtney's visitation.

Thankfully, I was able to pull off at an exit and into a well-lit gas station parking lot, and not have to sit on the side of the dark highway.

Let's be clear - I am not completely incapacitated when it comes to doing things on my car. I have had knowledge of how to change a tire, but since I've never had to actually do it, that lesson that was given nearly 18 years ago has tarnished a bit with age.

So, I call Jason, hoping to have him walk me through the process. No answer. His phone goes straight to voice mail.

I called my dad, and he said it would just be easier if he came up and helped me. We were about 15 minutes from where he was.

Since his stroke, his physical capabilities are not what they used to be. So, I tried to get the car jacked up and the lug nuts loosened before he got there.

Thanks to the inferior, factory-supplied tire iron, however, that was just not meant to be.

Thanks to a nice young man named Scott, though, it did get done - he and his wife and three kids were getting gas, and saw me, and he came over and changed my tire - before my dad even got there!

(Not to worry, though, it's a good thing he was coming, because we left the plastic lug nut covers there, and I remembered about the time he was getting of the exit to turn around, so they were not lost after all! Hooray!)

Anna Marie was crying about being late to her Missionettes class for the first time, but given the circumstances, they didn't even have a lesson - the teacher had the girls each make a card for Courtney's five-year-old daughter Madison, who isn't even in that class.

(Anna Marie's had horses. I have no idea why.)

Courtney's visitation was incredible. Pink flowers were everywhere. I stood in line for nearly half an hour to get to where she was, and instead of sorrow, I felt an incredible sense of peace once I got up there. This sounds so odd, but seeing how good she looked - and she really did look good - made me realize she was at peace, so I was too.

Jason and I went to the funeral yesterday, and I left both inspired and ashamed of how petty I can sometimes be.

Courtney was so sick over the past five years, yet she never wasted one minute asking "why me?" or getting bitter. She had a newborn when she was diagnosed, and she spent the next five years savoring every minute she had left and making sure Madison had good memories. I am so thankful she lasted this long, so that her daughter would be old enough to have some recollection of her. One of the most touching things I saw yesterday was at the end, when Courtney's husband Robert walked out of the sanctuary with a sleeping Madison on his shoulder. She was wearing the most beautiful pink poofy dress.

(Did I mention she's a red head too? Yeah, that makes me just a little more biased!)

Jason figured out yesterday upon closer inspection that I do indeed need a new tire. Not only am I thankful that Scott helped me, but I'm also thankful that we had that flat over the summer so that I knew what that awful sound was, and so that the spare (which had been flat the first time) would be in better shape.

I started to worry for about half a second yesterday. Do I have the funds for a new tire right now? In the words of that sage teacher Whitney Houston, "HECK to the NAW." But after witnessing Courtney's courage and faith over the past two years, how can I get upset about driving on a donut tire for another few days? If she can leave such a legacy that the pastor pulled out a pair of boxing gloves at her service, saying that they reminded him of her spirit, surely I can let God help me figure something out about a stupid tire.

I mean, really, y'all.

Farther along, we'll know more about it…

2009-11-17T16:08:00.002-06:00

Tomorrow I'll post my Kroger Shakedown. But today, I'm feeling reflective.

We received word last night that a precious young woman at our church, Courtney, had (as my mother would say) "moved away to be with God."

Courtney was 30 years old, and had a five-year-old daughter. She died in her sweet husband's arms.

She was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2005, after having her concerns unheard by her doctor. I suppose the doctor just thought she was too young, and didn't follow up, but by the time Courtney was treated, the disease was rather advanced.

She always sat on the front row, and no matter how sick she was, she always managed a smile. I have heard (but I wasn't there at the time) that when she was first diagnosed four years ago, the whole church showed up one Sunday - hundreds of people - wearing pink hats in support.

On Halloween, nearly a HUGE group donned custom-made "Team Courtney" shirts and raised over $20,000 for her at the Race for the Cure. She had no idea the effort that was directed in her honor, until she was wheeled to the race site.

She was so ill that she slept in her wheelchair during the awards ceremony.

Courtney had been doing much better, but began to decline in the last few months. In addition to being treated for tumors in different parts of her body, two brain tumors were found at the end of last month. She had a gamma knife procedure at the beginning of this month, but it was unclear how effective it had been.

After the procedure, she began to lose short-term memory. In the past week, she has been delirious, and then unable to speak. The doctors said her tumor markers were "through the roof," and she was sent home with hospice. The family was told there was nothing else that modern medicine could do.

I knew how ill she was. I knew that an "open house" had taken place on Saturday, so that her friends could help lift her spirits. I knew that friends were organizing play dates for her daughter, so that she would have some sense of normalcy through all this. I had seen the look of concern on her mother-in-law's face, as she sat in the front row on Sunday and I sang on the stage, and knew the family was burdened beyond belief.

Still, hearing that news last night was a shock.

I have never been so thankful for Facebook. Most of the people at our church are on, and though we were separated by geography, we could all grieve together. It was like one big "party line" telephone conversation, except I was in my PJs sitting on my couch with a laptop.

The first thing that went through my heart was an old song:

Farther along we'll know all about it,
Farther along we'll understand why,
Cheer up my brother, live in the sunlight
We'll understand it, all by and by.

I don't know why Courtney didn't pull through this time. I know it wasn't for a lack of "trying" on our part - there were more prayers sent up for her than just about anyone I know. Jason said those prayers were probably what helped her hang on this long.

One thing I do know, is that Courtney is no longer in pain. And my prayer now is that that knowledge will comfort those who love her. As the Bible says, we do not grieve like those who have no hope - we know that we will see her again someday.

And we'll understand it, all by and by.

Kroger shakedown!

2009-11-11T11:02:00.004-06:00

Like my logo? I got mad InDesign skillz now, yo.

Anyway - I went shopping Sunday after church, just me and The Kid (kept in line with the aid of your Friendly Neighborhood Nintendo Game Boy)

(Yes, it's older than she is.)

Here's the rundown on my shakedown.

2 cans Dole Mandarin Oranges
1 box Kelloggs Cinnabon Bars
1 box Krusteez Blueberry Pancake Mix
1 bottle Franks Red Hot
1 bottle Franks Red Hot Buffalo Wing Sauce
2 boxes Kelloggs Nutrigrain Bars
2 bottles Welch's Grape Juice
1 can Dole Tropical Fruit Salad
2 half-gallons of milk (one 2%, one skim)
3.15 lbs. bananas
2.82 lbs. Fuji apples
3 Lean Cuisine pizzas
1 box Act II 94% Fat Free Popcorn
1 bag Chocolate Chex Mix (FREE with sale and coupons!)
1 small bag of Cheeze-its (at the checkout, for the kid, naturally)
4 Armour Lunchmakers (for the kid, too)
1 package Thomas Light Multigrain English Muffins

Total before coupons: $74.09
Total after sales/coupons: $33.06
Total savings: $41.03 (57%)

This was another week of the Kroger Mega Sale (buy 10 of something, get another $5 off) and I did one of those deals. I also had a $2.50 off my purchase "catalina" (one of those coupons that prints out at the checkout.) The cashier, who was harried because they only had two lanes open on a Sunday afternoon, didn't believe it was a coupon, but I persisted - hello, it's got a barcode! Just scan the dang thing!

I went to Walmart on Monday, and got a couple of bell peppers and a couple of onions to make steak tips with some steak I had in the freezer. We had that Monday night, and if I'd thought about it Sunday, I could've saved myself the trip and gotten them at Kroger.

I was planning on hitting up Walgreens for a sale on baking stuff, but Jason just called to inform me that the brakes on my car (which I've been complaining about for the past week, but that's another post) are shot, the rotors are going to have to be replaced, and he and my dad are on their way to Pull-A-Part to see what they can come up with. The outcome of that expedition will dictate just how much I have to spend at Walgreens!

(And hey - since that Chex Mix was free, the calories from the whole bag I ate by myself over the course of three days don't count, right? Right?)

Exciting news!

2009-11-04T15:58:00.002-06:00

Well, it's official, so I'll tell you what my big news is.

For starters, HECK to tha NAW, I am not pregnant. Just in case you were wondering.

(That would be less of an "exciting news" situation and more of a "complete panic" situation.)

No, but the news is kinda-sorta related. I have now left the ranks of The Uninsured.

That's right - after over seven years of having no medical insurance, I finally have a little card to carry around - and some more money out of my check - to prove that I am INSURED.

How did this happen, you might ask? Well, about a week and a half ago, on a Friday afternoon, we got a call that our publisher was adding our newspaper to the insurance group used by his other (slightly larger) newspaper. A representative from the benefits company came by a few days later, and explained the package to us. I had to make a decision within a day, while open enrollment was still going on - it was that quick, less than a week from finding out it was being offered to signing on the dotted line.

It wasn't too terribly much for me to sign up, and my employer is paying half. Unfortunately, it was HORRIBLY expensive for Jason, so, alas, he remains without insurance. He did some research, though, and it's much less expensive for him to get individual coverage through the same insurance company I now have than to get it from them through my job.

Weird.

So, anyway, it sounds like a small thing, but for me, it's HUGE. It's really unimaginable for me to think that the next time I get a sinus infection, I can go get a "sinus cocktail" shot and get over it quickly, instead of suffering for weeks on end.

The Turner insurance tally now stands at two down, one to go. Stay tuned …

Kroger Shakedown! (Plus a little more.)

2009-11-01T20:54:00.004-06:00

Three blog posts in as many days! What has gotten into me?

Guess I've gotten a little of my mojo back, huh?

We stopped at Kroger on the way home from our small group tonight, which meets at a home about two miles from one of their stores. I would have gotten through in record time, but Anna Marie was making that a bit, shall we say, DIFFICULT.

But before I tell you about my Kroger haul, let me talk about Target.

Did you know, sometimes Target has a deal where you get one of their gift cards just for buying something they're running a special on? Well, this past week, it was dog food. If you bought two 20 lb. bags of Dog Chow for $11.49 each, you got a $5 card.

And what do you know? WE have dogs, and WE needed dog food! Plus, I also had two coupons, one for $1 off a three-pound or larger bag, and one for $1.50 off a 15 pound or larger bag, and I saw no reason why I couldn't use both.

We don't have a Target here, but there's one in the next county north of us (and we had to go up there Friday anyway for something else) so we stopped in. We picked up two bags of dog food, a two-pack of DVDs for some long-since-canceled Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon series on clearance for $1.98, and, of course, a 20-ounce Coke Zero for Jason (because he can't seem to leave a store without one).

The little teenage guy at the checkout totally spazzed out when he saw those Sonic DVDs. He was so mad he hadn't seen them first, and that Anna Marie had picked up the last set. It was like that SNL "Target Lady" skit come to life! In fact, he was so geeked out, he messed up our gift card!

He scanned the card, like we were paying for one. Then, he took it off like we were getting it for free, and said something about it taking off $5. Fine, I thought, he's applying the gift card to this purchase. No big deal. He put the card under his cash drawer, we walked out, and my math-addled brain went to work.

For the next half hour as we drove home, I tried to figure out what was bugging me, and when I looked at the receipt, I knew. He'd forgotten to give me my $5 card!

So, today after church, we went back to Target. And wouldn't you know, we were blessed with double for our trouble! When the manager investigated, she saw exactly what had happened, and gave us a TEN DOLLAR card! She said the guy was new, and I told her I figured as much. It was also pretty late, and I wasn't angry.

But boy, I sure was glad to see that extra $5 on that card. I basically got one of those bags of dog food for free!

This week, they're running a special on Kelloggs cereal - starting at $2.66 a box, and buy three, get one free. We're out of cereal, so I picked up four boxes. Jason also picked up a clearance bag of candy-corn pumpkins, and two drinks (I'll admit, I got one too) and we paid just over $3 out of our pocket!

(Then I got home, found out there were printable Kelloggs coupons, and wasn't quite so stoked. But, whatever. It was still an extra $5 I wasn't counting on!)

Moving on - here is my Kroger list for this week. There is no meat, because I don't need any, and I didn't need cereal (thanks, Target!) or milk, so that isn't on there either. I tend to buy meat at our locally-owned market here in town, because they run some really good deals about once a month.

Kroger is having a Mega Sale this week, where if you buy 10 of the participating products, you get another $5 off your purchase (or 50 cents off each thing). I racked up two of those, for a total of $10 more off. I also ended up with a coupon for $2.50 off my next grocery purchase, thanks to those nice people at Betty Crocker (who make all these fruit snacks I bought).

1 box of Fruit Stackers
1 box of Fruit Rollups
2 boxes of Fruit by the Foot (all of these will last us several months for lunch boxes and snacks)
2 boxes of Quaker granola bars
2 boxes of Special K bars (Yes, more granola bars! We eat them a lot!)
3 cans of Hormel Turkey Chili (23 cents each!)
2 cans of 2% of Carnation Evaporated Milk
1 bottle of Heinz ketchup
1 package of Danimals Crush Cups
1 package Danimals Smoothies
2.4 pounds of bananas
1.97 pounds of Granny Smith apples
2.16 pounds of Red Delicious apples
2 boxes of Keebler cookies
1 box of whole-wheat saltines
1 package of turkey pepperoni
And, of course a Coke Zero for Jason.

Total before coupons: $60.70
Total savings: $31.90
Total after coupons: $28.80
That's a savings of 54%. Once again, I feel a lot of this is just bringing it down closer to what I think it OUGHT to cost. The people in front of us had a total of over $160, didn't use a single coupon, and I wanted to say, "I am so sorry. Let me help you!"

And before you start deriding me for buying so much processed stuff, let me remind you: this is stockpiling. Yes, I bought four boxes of fruit snacks tonight, but those will last me about four months! One can of the chili will probably feed all three of us, as I tend to put it over baked potatoes (which I bought on sale about two weeks ago) with a little 2% milk shredded cheese (which I got on sale last week). I've got canned salmon in the pantry (that I got on sale about three weeks ago at Walgreens) and I can use that, along with a couple of potatoes and a can of the evaporated milk, to make salmon stew. See where I'm going with this? I only buy cookies about once every three months - literally, the last time I bought them was before school started. And I got them for less than $1 a pack!

The other bonus to some of these foods is that they have Box Tops for Education, which help our school raise funds for stuff they need.

Anna Marie is going to love her lunch tomorrow - some saltines, some turkey pepperoni, a Danimals smoothie and a banana.

(Oh, and a Fruit by the Foot for snack time, of course!)

Thank you candy corn, thank you Mike and Ike . . .

2009-10-31T20:22:00.003-06:00

Thank you, THANK YOU Smarties!

And thank you, Amanda, for finding this so I could. (She grabbed the audio off of this a couple years back, and I totally listened to this on my iPod while I was on the elliptical the other day.) Enjoy!

"Mama this is happy Halloween, to you . . . "

With a hip hip, and a clippity clop…

2009-10-30T07:29:00.003-06:00

Anna Marie and I watched Ichabod and Mr. Toad last week, and I forgot how much I loved those old Disney cartoons. But that is totally not what this blog post is about.

First, let me explain how the car lines works at our school.

We pull up to a covered, curved walkway in front of the school, and there are four or five ladies on the sidewalk, which is on the passenger side. A group of cars stops, and the ladies go down the line, each opening the doors of two or three cars before that group pulls away and another several pull up.

Now, on to what happened this morning:

The truck in front of me had stopped, and one "crossing guard" (that's what they're called, even though no one is crossing anything) opened the door. Anna Marie was getting out at the same time, so I was half paying attention, when the other crossing guard screamed.

Apparently, someone in the truck was wearing a mask, and she was startled - which brought back some elementary school Halloween memories for me that I hadn't thought of in YEARS.

For me, in elementary and middle school, it got to the point where eventually my mom let me stay home on Halloween. Between the boys scaring the bejeezus out of me with their ugly masks, and the librarians telling ghost stories in the library (WHO'S GOT MY GOLDEN ARM?), I didn't sleep well for weeks.

I hope Anna Marie was having a better time of it today, and I suppose she would - she's not as easily frightened when I was her age.

Case in point: when we were watching the movie last week, and Ichabod Crane was trying to get over the bridge and get home. Every time Ichabod would get scared by something, she'd say, "Dude. It's just a tree." Or, "Dude, it's just a frog." Or, "Dude, it's just some plants beating on a log."

No joke.

So this weekend, as you're eating more chocolate than the law allows (and believe me, I've gotten a head start on you) don't be scared. Just remember: Dude. It's just the wind.

Kroger shakedown!

2009-10-28T14:38:00.002-06:00

I've decided to start posting my Kroger Shakedown here each week.

For one, it'll motivate me to save as much as possible, much like my old-school weigh- ins did.

For another, it'll give me a reason to blog AT LEAST once a week.

I am a sad, sad blogger.

Anyhow, I didn't take a picture like some do - and now, we've eaten some of the stuff, so it's a bit late for all that. Mostly, I don't take pictures of my shopping trips because I don't have a space to do so.

(Yes, I have a dining room table. But that would mean I'd have to clean it off, and that isn't happening anytime soon.)

Ahem.

So, here's my list:

2 boxes of Post Shredded Wheat
2 boxes of Fiber One Bars
2 boxes of Nature Valley Granola Bars
1 box of Chex Mix Bars
1 bag of Natures Valley Nut Clusters (these actually MADE me 50 cents!)

Editor's note: I realize there are lots of granola products at my house right now. Jason eats the bars for breakfast, and we snack on them, and the ones I buy ARE better than candy bars.

1 can of Bush's Chili Magic
1 can of Kroger black beans
1 can of Lysol
2 bags of Kroger 2% shredded cheddar
2 packages of Bic Soliel disposable razors (for 19 cents each!)
4 bags of Hershey's candy (for school parties, and one of these was free!)
1 bottle of Sunny D Smoothie
1 package of Dole diced peaches
A bunch of bananas
1 bag of navel oranges

Total before sales/coupons: $83.40 (Folks, that is CRAZY!)
Total savings with sales/coupons: $53.78
Total out of pocket: $29.62
Total savings: 66%

It was pretty awesome to hear that cashier say that my total (after sale prices, but before coupons) was $66, and hand him over $30 worth of coupons. I LOVE seeing that total drop, drop, and drop some more. I also feel that what I paid was more "in line" with what I think the food was worth. No way did I have $84 worth of food in my cart, but $29 sounds a lot more reasonable to me.

I realize that a lot of other "coupon-ers" save much more than I do, but I think it's proportional: I don't have but three mouths to feed, and we don't eat lunch at home every day (but, thanks to a development I'll be announcing in the next couple of days, PINKY PROMISE, we probably will be). I don't have to buy diapers or formula. And I haven't had to buy much meat in the last couple of weeks, because I usually buy it when it goes on sale at a grocery store here in town (which is not known for great sales, but does have pretty good sales on meat occasionally.) If I had a grocery budget of $150 a week, I obviously could do more, proportionally speaking.

Also, our Kroger stores don't ever triple coupons, like some stores do, so I miss out on that. And, Red Plum doesn't insert into our Sunday papers here anymore. They do send their inserts in the mail, but not in my town - I have to rely on my sister, who lives in Memphis, getting them and remembering to bring them to me when I see her every week or two, so I miss those coupons as well.

Well, like I said a minute ago, I've got some pretty great news up in here, so stay tuned!

The beauty of a stockpile

2009-10-14T08:52:00.003-05:00

(What? Are you KIDDING? Of course this isn't my pantry. I don't really have a pantry, just a small-ish cabinet in my small-ish kitchen, that I can only use the bottom two shelves in with any regularity, because I am MAD SHORT, yo!)

So anyway, back to my post title: THE BEAUTY OF A STOCKPILE.

Have you tried The Grocery Game yet? No? Then you totally should. And then you TOTALLY should tell them that I sent you, because if enough of you guys do that, then I get something free (I think it's a free month or some such).

One of the major tenets of The Grocery Game is stockpiling. That means, when something is on your "list" (a.k.a., its at the lowest sale price for that cycle, and there's a coupon or other special promotion) that you get as many of that something as you can. Eventually, you get to "cherry picking," which means that your stockpile is so well stocked that you don't need to spend very much at the store at all.

For instance: on Monday night, Jason got called to my dad's house unexpectedly because there was someone over there to help him fix the door on his van (which hasn't closed completely in about a month.) It was close to dinner time, and Anna Marie was spending the night over there anyway, so I told him not to hold up going on my account. I had plenty of stuff to eat at home, and he could eat over there. I didn't have to spend money to go out to eat - I had a Lean Cuisine pizza in my freezer, that had cost me $1.30 apiece!

Earlier that afternoon, my mom had called at lunch to say that she wasn't feeling well, and could I bring her some chicken noodle soup? Why, yes I could - I had gotten four cans of Campbell's Soup the week prior, at a cost of about $0.30 a can. I didn't have to stop at the store and pay God-knows-what. It cost me less than 1/3 of $1 to help someone who needed it.

Last night, it was cold and rainy and we were all tired. Perfect chili weather! I reached into my cupboard, pulled out three cans (one can of Bush's Chili Magic, one can of black beans, and one can of Hunt's Petite Diced Tomatoes) and in just a few minutes, viola! Dinner was served - low fat, low cost, and pretty dang delicious - complete with a bag of shredded 2% milk cheese (on sale) and two different kinds of hot sauce (either free or $0.50 a bottle, depending on the kind).

Anna Marie has been tearing up some Quaker Instant Grits, which I purchased for $1.50 for a 12-pack.

See where I'm going with this?

The same applies with our health and beauty goods. Jason uses a particular brand of aftershave, which normally costs about $6 or $7 a bottle. I got two bottles for $9 at Walgreens a couple of weeks ago, and they gave me four of my dollars back as Register Rewards! Sweet! Now, when he runs out, he can reach into the cabinet for a $2.50 bottle instead of sending me to the store to spend $7.

When I run out of shampoo and conditioner (which will probably be in the next week) I have two bottles of Suave in my bathroom cabinet waiting on me, which cost me $0.50 each.

I don't pay over $2 for a box of brand name cereal - even my beloved Fiber One, which normally sells for nearly $4 a box. I paid $1.25 for the last four boxes I bought, about six weeks ago, and I just now opened the last box this morning. I might buy four or six boxes at a time, instead of one each week, but the savings are well worth it.

I find that I'm keeping more ingredients in my kitchen, which means that I'm trying different recipes that I'd normally avoid (because I HATE buying something just to try a recipe.)

When you stockpile, you don't buy everything, every week. You spend your money on one thing one week, and another thing another week, until you have a supply that will last a while.

Some weeks, I just get milk and bread, and fresh produce at the store. And if something happens and I can't get to the store on my regular shopping day, we have food to last us - where in the past, it would mean another time to dine out.

Jason loves it, because I am SO much more organized at the store now. It saves us time, and money, and helps me be better at planning our meals around what I've got and what's on sale. If I had more money (and/or more space) I could probably do more stockpiling, but hey - it's just the three of us. I don't usually buy stuff we wouldn't eat, but I do occasionally for something to take to our small group meetings.

So, if and when you can, I highly advise starting a stockpile of your own. Because having cans in your cabinet (and veggies in your freezer, and free toothpaste in your bathroom) is like having money in the bank.

Dear Anna Marie,

2009-10-02T08:00:00.000-05:00

Eight years ago, I was awakened in the middle of the night with an impossible amount of pain.

After trying, in vain, to get back to sleep, I went to the couch to see how quickly that pain was recurring. After all, I was a whole week past due, and I was scheduled to be at the hospital in a few hours to have my labor induced.

(That means they were going to give me some medicine to make me have you, by the way.)

However, you had decided, on your own, that you were coming. NOW. Not sometime later in the morning. NOW.

As I lay on the couch, I picked up a piece of paper and a pen, and my watch. I timed the pain as I watched QVC, and wished like heck it was really the real deal this time, because I sure was ready for it to be.

(What? Of COURSE I was watching QVC at 3 a.m. It was a fashion show - Susan Grave Style maybe? It was October, and I was looking forward to new fall fashions!)

After about an hour, I tried to get your dad to get out of bed and take me to the hospital. Showing an COMPLETE lack of understanding of the situation, he advised me to go back to sleep - it would make me feel better.

Ha. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Ha. Ahem.

When I finally convinced him to drive me (the threat that I'd drive myself if he didn't probably played into his decision) we put your carseat into the van and went into the dark South Carolina night - we figured we were leaving a family of two, and we'd return a family of three.

I didn't even bother waking up your Gramma or Aunt Manda, just in case.

After getting stopped by the train which ran outside of the hospital - a scenario which we'd joked about many times en route to my doctor's appointments - we were put in a room just as the sun was rising.

Many hours, and much pain (and not very much medication AT ALL) later, there you were - the spitting image of your dad, Gramma's little Pea Snap, nothing like me at all except for your blue eyes - which your Nanny was convinced were only temporary.

What Dr. Middlebrooks said about you after he met you for the first time - that you were the "brightest baby in the nursery" has proven to be truer than we could've imagined. From the beginning, you were inquisitive, strong willed - and always afraid you'd miss something if you allowed yourself to fall asleep.

Being your mother has been more challenging, and more rewarding, than I could've imagined then either. I shudder to think of all of the lessons from God that I would have missed had you not come into my life.

Happy birthday, Little One. I hope that eight turns out to be as great as you thought it would be. I am excited to see how you'll grow - and how I'll grow - over this next year.

Love, your mom (who would have been HAPPY to be called "mama" for a few more years, except you decided on your fifth birthday that you were too big to do so. Not true!)

Book review: Knockout Entrepreneur

2009-09-29T18:38:00.004-05:00

We have a new segment here at Melz World - book reviews! And here is my very first one!

George Foreman has worn many hats in his life: boxer, celebrity endorser, businessman, preacher. But above all, he considers himself a "knockout entrepreneur."

What is a "knockout entrepreneur?" According to Foreman in Knockout Entrepreneur, it's "a person who truly wants to succeed in life and is willing to do the hard work necessary to make it happen."

Foreman was a former heavyweight champion of the world who came out of retirement in midlife to reclaim the title. His second time around was different from the first, however. By the time of his comeback, he had gone from a cocky, macho fighter to a Christian who had discovered that God's way to successes was through humility.

He also tells the story of the ubiquitous George Foreman Grill (admit it - you've got one in your kitchen right now, and you've used it in the past week) and how he nearly turned down the greatest business success of his lifetime before his wife convinced him of what a great product it was.

A knockout entrepreneur has integrity, and I was very impressed with George's sticking to his moral guns in the face of ridicule from others.

Find George Foreman's Knockout Entrepreneur here

Walgreens Shakedown

2009-09-29T12:44:00.003-05:00

I really kinda feel like I robbed these guys today. I know I didn't get off as cheaply as maybe I could have, but I still feel pretty good about my trip!

2 Littlest Petshop playsets (with two pets each, plus LOTS of accessories)
1 Littlest Petshop activity set (all of this is for Anna Marie's birthday)
1 stainless steel bottle (Anna Marie's birthday - she's been asking for one.)
1 package of Swiffer Wetjet pads
2 bags of Brach's Candy Corn
3 (10 oz) bags of Pirate Booty
1 bag of Halls cough drops
3 cans of Hunts Tomato Sauce
2 cans of Blue Diamond almonds
2 cans of Pringles

Grand total (after tax, coupons, and $4 Register Rewards from my last trip): $26.15

Plus, I got $2 in Register Rewards to use next time!

The joys of being young

2009-09-24T13:52:00.003-05:00

A conversation heard in my house this morning:

(Background: my mom had sent Anna Marie some leftover pancakes and sausage from the auction, and she was eating them this morning while I was getting ready for work.)

"Mom, some of my syrup got on my sausage!"

(cue nervous mom, thinking this is not going to end well)

"It did?"

"Yes, and it was gooooood."

Oh, to be seven again, and discovering life's simple pleasures!

The birthday boondoggle

2009-09-22T19:12:00.005-05:00

It's official - our annual magazine was approved today, and hopefully will be published next week.

(By the way, in newspaper-speak, that means we hope to insert it in next week's paper. The paper "publishes" on the day it hits newsstands/mailboxes. It doesn't mean that's the day it's printed.)

And I have run into the same problem I've run into for the past four years, or, in other words, every year that I've been responsible for getting this thing put together: I emerge from a two- to three-week long magazine-induced stupor, and go, "Oh my goodness! Anna Marie's birthday is like, next week!"

And I hate it, because it means that she gets short changed every year, or at least I feel like she does.

Dare we remember last year's ill-fated trip to Cedar Hill Farms?

We dare not.

Every year, I promise myself I'll do better, and every year is a big pile of EPIC FAIL.

Last night, I had this conversation with my mom, and I got off the phone feeling really anxious. And then I remembered that the Bible says "be anxious for nothing" (Phil. 4:6-7), and I just prayed about it.

And then today, a plan started to come together.

There is a performance of Disney on Ice coming to Memphis this weekend, and we got free tickets at work. But, I'm going to be out of town this weekend, on a ladies' retreat with my church, and so I figured it was too much trouble to try to get Jason or someone else to take Anna Marie and just gave up.

But then, I happened to get on the website of the venue, and notice that they'd added a show for Sunday afternoon, at which time I will be back in town! I quickly texted a couple of cousins with kids Anna Marie's age, and they're game if I can get tickets.

(Which is where this gets slightly complicated, because I've got vouchers which must be exchanged for tickets at the venue box office - which is 45 minutes away. And Jason is working tomorrow, and then we have church, so he can't go. And I'm leaving Thursday night, so I probably won't have time to go.)

(But don't worry. I didn't get this far to give up again!)

So, for Anna Marie's birthday, it looks like she and some cousins will be taking in a performance of Disney on Ice. Because we had exactly the number of vouchers left that I was going to need for us to go. And because it's (say it with me now): FREE.

Amanda has also suggested that next weekend, on her actual birthday, we go out for dinner and all dress nicely - because she's getting to be so grown up.

I can dig it.

(Well, the dressing up part. The growing up part? Not so much.)

Let's just PRAY that this year's plan turns out better than last year's, m'kay?

To watch, or not to watch?

2009-09-03T20:42:00.004-05:00

I'm about to get a little deep and political, y'all. Hold on to your seats.

(I happen to be very opinionated, politically speaking, but I'm also Southern, and I was taught that politics and religion don't come up in polite conversation. While there are some exceptions, I think our present atmosphere has become quite unhealthy.)

As some of you may have heard, President Obama will be addressing the nation's schoolchildren next week.

Now, I know some folks are going all "brainwashing" and freaking out. I know parents in the district just north of mine, who are sending their kids to school on Tuesday with a note that they are to go into the hallway during the broadcast and "pray for our country."

Fine. Whatever. Our country and the people in it need lots of prayer. I'm all for prayer, and for your rights as an American citizen, and free speech, and all that.

But, I'm also all for not over-reacting. And I'm all for getting the facts before making a decision. And I'm all for letting times when your kids are exposed to things that are outside of their "norm" being used as talking points and teachable moments, so you can explain why your family believes what they do and so forth.

So, I went to the White House website. The address is (supposed) to be about setting goals, and taking responsibility for your actions. I was a little put off by the language of some of the elementary age discussion questions, like "What is President Obama asking me to do?" But I don't see how that's much different than Kennedy's "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country speech."

(And let me just interject here, one of the things that concerns me is that our children are being raised to ask what the country can do for them, to keep them in new cars and Reeboks.)

(I'll get off that soapbox now.)

And then tonight I was talking to the school superintendent, and I asked him as a mom (not as a reporter) if the children would be watching on Tuesday.

He asked the school board members, and most said that if a teacher wanted to show the broadcast, it was fine, but that they didn't think watching should be mandatory.

(Actually, one board member said to let those who wanted to watch do so on a tiny little screen in the hallway, to make it as hard as possible. But that's just him. It's his personality.)

The superintendent said he was leaving it up to the teachers. I told him that I didn't really care one way or the other, but I wanted to be prepared to discuss it with Anna Marie if she did watch it.

Did you hear that? I'm a conservative, and the President wants to talk to my kid, without me there. And I don't care.

Don't get me wrong - I do care, very much, about the information that she gets. But I also do care that in all this debate about healthcare, and stimulus, and cash-for-clunkers, that something is being lost. We've lost a healthy respect for the office of the President, and I think that's eventually going to trickle down to a loss of respect for all authority.

Or maybe it already has, and that's part of our problem.

I didn't vote for him. I don't like some of his policies. I don't like the suggested discussion question that says "Why is it important to listen to our officials, and why is what they say important?" Mainly because I think that not everything they say is important - and I know enough elected officials personally to say that.

Heck, believe it or not, even everything I say isn't important. All the time.

I don't like extremism of any sort, whether it's the type that causes a country to spend $1.6 trillion more than it's bringing in during one year alone, or the kind that causes people to interrupt public gatherings with fake birth certificates and be completely disrespectful of the other opinion.

And I don't like the extremism that makes people not let their kids watch the President talk to them about reaching their goals. Because as much as some are crying "brainwashing," I have enough faith in my child, and in our ability as parents with God's help, to help her work through whatever she is being taught.

I know that as she gets older, I'm going to have to do that anyway - in science class, on the playground, and yes, even at church.

I wish that we, as parents, could be part of the solution, not part of the problem - and I wish we could set a better example for our kids.

Meet Annie.

2009-09-02T13:12:00.002-05:00

A.K.A The Luckiest Dog in Tate County.

I never knew my husband would turn into such an animal lover. He'd had dogs growing up, and his mom still had one of them when we got together. But he'd never seemed that attached to them, and, up until a few months ago, we'd put the idea that we could own a furry friend right out of our heads because of our living situations.

And then, Jason hit upon the idea to use the old enclosure in the backyard as a pen. And apparently, the doggie floodgates have opened, because since May we've gone for zero dogs to THREE of them.

Yes, THREE.

You've already met Lucky and Delta, the yellow lab mix and full-blooded black lab we rescued from the local animal shelter. They're good dogs, if a little goofy. Jason has worked TIRELESSLY with them, on every behavior issue.

I think we now own stock in several doggie-treat companies.

He even bought himself a little drawstring treat bag that fastens to his belt, for when he takes them out on walks. He stops at a park up the street that has a gazebo, and practices sit/stay commands.

(Lucky is catching on much faster than Delta, by the way. Jason says she's a typical stubborn woman. I say she's just bored with the simple commands she's being given.)

Anyway, Jason took my car to my dad's house on Saturday, to hook his computer up and see why the "Check Engine" light was coming on. On the way back from the test drive, they see a little black puppy on the side of the road.

Jason, who was in the passenger's seat, opened the door. The puppy jumped in and sat between his feet in the floorboard.

It was love at first sight.

Jason brought her home, and I offered to call the city to take her to the shelter, which was closed for the weekend.

"I'm sure they don't need another dog," he said.

"Neither do we," I thought. And maybe said aloud. I don't remember. But I DEFINITELY was thinking it.

The puppy lived, barricaded, in our kitchen from Saturday afternoon until Monday afternoon. Do you have any idea how hard it is to cook with a small animal at your feet? DO YOU? And to have to watch your step, for fear of disturbing the "presents" left by said animal?

And to have to eat your cereal standing up in the kitchen, because if you cross over the threshold into the dining room, that puppy is going to cry and you won't be able to eat peacefully?

Not that she's not perfectly lovely. I'm just sayin'.

I tried to give her a good home with my cousin at church on Sunday, and Jason got mad because I'd tried to "give away his dog."

Gave me the "talk to the hand" sign right up in the choir loft!

Sigh.

So, Monday morning bright and early, I took the puppy to the vet while Jason went to Memphis. And, $62.50 later, she had a clean bill of health (and a $17 bottle of shampoo to clear up what the doctor called "fungus" but I think is just "mange.")

(And no, I've never spent $17 on a bottle of shampoo for myself, thankyouverymuch.)

The doctor gave her some shots and a dewormer, and said she was OK to live with the big guys in the backyard. Glory be! Coffee in peace once more!

Anna Marie named her "Annie" after a character in the Magic Treehouse books. She and Jason went to Walmart, and bought her a tiny pink collar and a teeny pink leash, and now Anna Marie walks the puppy while Jason walks the big dogs.

I saw them on the sidewalk as I came home last night after working late, and yes, it's the cutest thing you've ever seen.

She seems to be getting along splendidly with the other dogs. Jason did the introductions, and other than a whole lot of sniffing, there wasn't much controversy going on. This morning when I left for the gym, I even saw Annie and Lucky curled up asleep in the dog house!

I suppose it'll be good for Anna Marie, who is still a bit intimidated by the adult dogs. She can have one all her own, that's her size, that she can get used to as it grows over the next several months.

And if anyone is going to have to get a second job to pay for these animals, you can be pretty sure it isn't going to be me.

Goodbye, Ole Blue

2009-08-24T19:35:00.005-05:00

This week, I had to do the unthinkable.

I had to retire Ole Blue, the can opener I'd had since I was a freshman in college.

It was a good run we had, Ole Blue and me. When I was a freshman in college, some 15 (!) years ago, I had a pretty crappy can opener. I don't know exactly how it happened, but one day I went to my Post Office Box and found Ole Blue waiting in a padded envelope.

(Why yes, those are granite countertops. Of course they are. It's a special, rare blonde granite.)

It was a gift from my dad's friend Steve, who has been subjecting himself to the abuse of hanging out with our family since I was about five years old. Actually, he still does on a regular basis, even down to working for Jason and mom in the catering company.

At any rate, Old Blue came into my life and spoiled me. He has opened countless cans of soup, Chef-Boy-Ar-Dee ravioli, and other canned goods. When we got married, we didn't get a new can opener - I brought Ole Blue with me.

Ole Blue opened up lots of cans of soup that first year. And most of it wasn't even name brand.

Over the past few months, though, I noticed Ole Blue just wasn't the same. I was having to go back over the same spot more than once to get it to open. And then last week, I had several cans to open for dinner. No matter how many times I went over those spots, they just would not open.

Panicked, I used one of my old knives to finish the job. I cannot guarantee that my family did not enjoy some delicious metal shavings with their whole kernel corn.

That did it. I had to put Ole Blue down.

I went to Walmart the next morning, because we were having Manwich for lunch and needed a reliable can opener. I picked up this one, which I guess I'll name "New Black:"

It's not the same. I loved Ole Blue, and I don't know if they even make them like that any more. After having this design, I can't STAND those puny little can openers - you know the ones I mean - that take the strength of several large men to open one can.

But, I figured that for $2.97, New Black was a good stopgap measure. If I don't absolutely love it, I've only wasted three bucks, and it gives me time to figure out my next can opener move.

I'd pay a pretty penny for another opener I liked as well as Ole Blue, that I wouldn't have to replace for another 15 years.

Show me yours, and I'll show you mine

2009-08-10T14:29:00.002-05:00

Lots of my Facebook friends have been posting pictures of their little ones on the first day of school (today for most of them, who live in the next county). And it reminded me - I went to all the trouble of taking this:

(and believe me, it was a lot of trouble!) and I didn't even post it!

Shame on me! No post on my birthday, and no first-day-of-school post!

I have truly fallen down on the job.

She started on Thursday, and so far, so good. In her words, half of her her first grade class is in her second grade. The teacher seems very nice, and I'm hoping that she stays as excited as she is now for the rest of the year.

Of course, they haven't gotten into any "real" work yet, but I'm believing this year is going to be much better than last. She did make it into the gifted program, and I think the extra challenge will help her with her, ahem, talking problem.

Not only have I fallen down in the "mommy blogger" category, I've fallen down in the "bloggy friend" category. But, just like I made a fresh start today with my eating (you'd think I'd been on a cruise for the past few days, the way I've been shoveling it in) I'm making a fresh start in the bloggy friend category.

Be forewarned: you're going to be seeing more of me around the blogosphere. You're welcome.

For those of you who haven't started school yet, I guess you're the lucky ones. Lord knows it'd be easier to go a couple of weeks in June, instead of sweating it out during the hottest part of the summer!

Dear Elvis, et al:

2009-08-04T16:04:00.003-05:00

(An open letter to the King of Rock and Roll, not to be confused with the "King" of "Pop.")

Thank you for inventing peanut butter and banana sandwiches, or at least making them so well known that my parents were exposed to them while growing up in Memphis and could then, in turn, feed them to me.

They, like you, are excellent.

•••

Dear Sara Lee,

Thank you for making bread that is low in calories, high in fiber, and doesn't taste like stink. It's real helpful when I'm craving a peanut butter and banana sandwich.

•••

Dear Skippy,

Thank you for making super-chunky peanut butter. Did you know it tastes really good with banana? You should totally try it sometime.

Keep up the good work!

•••

Dear God,

Thank you for making bananas, and for inspiring, um, someone (let's see - looks like it was George Bayle) to make peanut butter, and for inspiring someone else to put those two tasty, tasty foods together. I think it's one of the best things you did, besides, maybe, sending Jesus down here to die for me.

…

(Can anyone guess what I'm craving right now?)

August issues

2009-07-27T14:01:00.003-05:00

Today, I made a new folder on my computer called "August issues."

Now, this is nothing new - working for a newspaper, I have to have a way to organize my work each week, and my way happens to be creating a folder for each month, and then a sub-folder inside that for each week.

And since I work in some sort of wonky space-time continuum, even though we haven't reached the end of July, I'm already working on August.

And I realized, why, I do have August issues. I have issues with the fact that it's almost August already!

I have issues with the idea that next week, a little red-head I know is starting second grade. How did that even happen? What does that even mean?

Will I ever get done with her neverending list of school supplies?

I have issues with the notion that, starting next week, I'll have to get up a whole hour early to get to the gym. I'll have to start thinking about lunches, and backpacks, and clothes for the next day.

I AM NOT READY FOR THAT!!!!!!!

I am not ready for waiting on 3:00, to see how she's done in school that day.

I am not ready to worry again about how the other kids are treating her, or how she's treating them, and what kind of influence all the kids are being on each other.

I am not ready for fundraisers, and field trips, and having to make sure she wears tennis shoes every day for a week because she'll be going to gym.

And I am most definitely not ready to spend large chunks of my time sitting in traffic, wondering if the people with the out-of-county tags in front of me are really supposed to be here, or if they're trying to sneak into our fabulous school system.

And while we're at it, I'm also not ready for another birthday next week, or the 10th anniversary of my grandmother's passing, or having to put yet another issue of our magazine to bed.

Yes, I do have "August issues." And that's why I'm going to leave you with a picture of my cousin's daughter, Amelia, who, after spending the first two years of her life being skeptical of me, finally decided I was OK yesterday and has secured herself a spot as my new favorite person.

The end.

Donut be sad!

2009-07-23T13:51:00.002-05:00

Just when I was lamenting to myself that I didn't have anything to blog about, this happens.

It all started when I came home last night, and Jason said, "Let's go get some chicken."

Now, you have to understand - our local KFC has a reputation for not actually having any chicken. And last night, they did not disappoint.

First, Anna Marie ordered the popcorn chicken.

"That will be three-and-a-half minutes, because we have to cook it," she said.

Fine. That wasn't so bad. Then I looked at the pitiful amount of grilled chicken under the heat lamp, and asked about the prospects for, say, some white meat.

"We don't have any," she said. Would they have some coming in a few minutes? No - it would be 20, she said, which is how long it takes to grill.

Which means they hadn't even started cooking any, and it was the dinner rush.

I selected a honey barbeque sandwich, Jason asked for some chicken strips, and we ate.

(Half an hour later, when we left, there was STILL no new grilled chicken, meaning that they hadn't started any even after we'd asked for it.)

Fine. We still had plenty of time to make it to church. Or so we thought.

Thanks to the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, it took us 45 minutes to go 15 miles. We were already late for church at that point, but I didn't think we'd be too late.

Once again, I was wrong.

Since Jason had discovered at KFC that he'd forgotten his wallet, I was driving. And just south of our exit, I heard a terrible noise. I stopped the car, and Jason got out to investigate.

Yes, from the picture at the top of this post, you can gather that we'd blown a tire. No problem, I thought, but I was about to be wrong YET AGAIN.

After Jason put the "donut" spare on, he got back into the car and said, "We aren't going anywhere."

Why? Because our spare was flat too, of course! Lovely!

I did what any girl would do in my position. I called my dad. He came and brought a small air compressor to air up the spare, and we started home.

Of course, by this point, church was over. A wasted trip! Or was it…

God taught me a lesson, which I wish He could've gotten though to me without the whole flat-tire incident.

I realized when I got home that I hadn't really freaked out. Why? Because I knew Jason was with us, and he could change a tire. If I had tried to do it myself, it would've been a great big EPIC FAIL because I have neither the expertise, nor the physical strength, to change a tire. But Jason? He had both.

I would've been an idiot to try to push him out of the way and do it myself.

(Yes, my dad did teach me to change a tire before I started driving, but that was a LONG time ago, and I haven't really had to use that skill. Ever. And have you ever tried to break free a lug nut that was put on with an air wrench? I have. Not fun.)

Why can't I seem to trust God like I do my husband? Why can't I realize that when I try to fix my problems myself, when I don't really have the means to do so, that I royally mess things up.

I'm thankful that I wasn't alone, that we're experiencing unseasonably cool weather, that it was daylight, and that it was not raining. I'm thankful that the flat was on the passenger's side, so Jason wasn't against the interstate traffic.

(And I'm really thankful that Anna Marie had brought her Game Boy, so she barely noticed the hour we sat there slip by.)

So that's why I "Donut be sad" (Get it? Do not, and that tire is called a donut? I slay me!) about this situation. I'm forcing myself to play the "glad game" and look on the bright side, and see how blessed we really are.

And I'm planning on sending the bill for tire repair to the federal government, since I'm blaming the whole mess on them.

It's all a lot to process

2009-07-12T08:56:00.003-05:00

Greetings, fellow bloggers.

That's a picture of a very tired and cranky (and slightly sunburned) Anna Marie, who exited the bus from camp on Thursday night wearing a coonskin cap she'd bought in the camp store.

(There was also an Indian feathered headdress in her bag, and she'd bought a water bottle that never made it home.)

The two redheads flew the coop again about 5:30 a.m. on Friday, and I've been on my own ever since.

Well, as "on my own" as I can be, with two prone-to-run-off dogs in my backyard.

Friday night, after I drug both of them back home by their collars following one of their "exploring" sessions (we'd been playing fetch in the backyard, and Lucky got distracted) I watched Taken.

Let me just say, without spoiling it for those who haven't seen it - Liam Neeson has no reservations in this movie. None. You already know from the trailers that his daughter is kidnapped in Paris, and this guy stops at nothing - and I mean NOTHING - to get her back.

I actually lost count of how many laws he broke during his search for her.

Saturday, Amanda asked that mom and I come to her job and help her return the car the insurance company had rented after their client had totaled her car a few weeks ago.

(Yes, she's been in another wreck, with another totaled car. Both times, it's been the other driver's fault. Both times, she's gotten more from the insurance company than she had paid for the car in the first place, and more than it was probably worth at that point. SHHH - don't tell anyone!)

She'd finally gotten herself a vehicle, so mom and I headed to her place of business to return the rental while she worked. We only had a short window of opportunity, because the location she was supposed to return at closed at noon, and it was 11:15 when we were about to leave.

It would've been perfect, since the rental place was only 10 miles from her job, except for the part where I locked the keys in the car.

In the ignition, with the radio on because she'd asked me to retrieve a CD out of the player.

Mom and I tried to fix it without interrupting Amanda's work, but 45 minutes later she discovered that we were still there and hadn't fixed the problem yet.

(Note to self: Hertz Rent-A-Car's roadside assistance will charge you out the wazoo to unlock a car, and not every small town police department will do it for you.)

(Also: if your sister has locked her keys in her car every other week for about a month, go ahead an tell her so she can call her "people.")

And that's exactly what happened - Amanda was on her lunch break, so she called "her" locksmith and mom stayed with the car while she and I ate lunch. (Don't worry - she was inside Amanda's air conditioned job, and mom got something to eat when we got back.)

I was so befuddled by everything that was going on - and a touch of ADD, to boot - that Amanda had to write a memo on my phone with the directions home, because I couldn't concentrate enough to process them.

The guy at Hertz who we'd talked to when the whole thing began told us we could take the car back to the Airport location, so we did - except the folks at the airport didn't want to take it! We had to explain to them, twice, why we were returning it to them and not to the original rental place.

After that harrowing experience, and since it was my anniversary to boot, mom and I stopped at Baskin Robbins where I treated myself to a kiddie cone of no-sugar-added, low-fat caramel turtle ice cream.

MMMMM!

After dinner last night, I watched Doubt. I haven't had my head spin so much after a movie since my dad took me to see JFK when I was 15. It was an excellent film, but the ending really made me question what I thought I knew - which I guess is kind of the point.

And now - I'm getting ready for church, and then I have to do some auction shopping for Jason, and we have small groups tonight. And at some point, I really need to walk the dogs, since it was raining this morning and I couldn't.

It's going to be a long day, I'm afraid.

<<< Needs a break from her break

2009-07-08T08:51:00.005-05:00

Ever feel that way? My three-and-a-half day weekend (I left work at 11 a.m. on Friday and didn't return until yesterday) left me feeling a bit exhausted.

Truly.

A "day off" is never a "day off" in my life, at least not until the week when Jason and Little AM go to South Carolina.

(i.e., NEXT WEEK!)

Jason ALWAYS has something for us to do. Always.

Friday afternoon, we took these two to the groomers for the first time. They both returned clean, fresh, and be-ribboned.

Yes, both of them. Lucky included. I think he paid them back, though, by "watering" a plant and the concrete floor of the front room.

Saturday, we went to Southaven (the town in our neighboring county where our church is located) for their Fourth of July celebration. Our church was in charge of lining up the entertainment for the evening, and our praise team was on stage last before the fireworks.

(That's Lauren. She's in our small group. I love her! And the guy behind her, on the guitar with the do-rag? He's in our small group too, and that do-rag is no stunt. He rides his Harley to church whenever he can, because he has to be there so much earlier than his family for band practice. And Saturday night, he was JAMMING up there. I'm kinda biased towards my music team, can you tell?)

Man, was it ever hot! And by "hot" I mean "humid beyond all reason." I felt just icky for most of the night, and get a load of Anna Marie. She spent most of the evening on the hill at the back of the amphitheater, playing with her cousins and some other kids from church, and only occasionally coming back to our seat for a drink.

That's her with her cousin Kaitlynn, who just turned 8 on Monday. Oh, did I forget, we went to her party on Friday night? And then we got stopped by a roadblock just outside of town? Where they only glanced at Jason's license, and didn't even check his insurance card?

And where Anna Marie got freaked out by the lights, and wanted to cover her head with a blanket?

"Oh no you don't," said Jason. "They'll think something is wrong back there."

Anyways, after the fireworks (or in the middle, since we left early) we drove to the church, where I assisted with the check-in for those going to camp. As in, the "lice check" part of the check-in. None of our kids had bugs, thank goodness!

It was after 11 when we left the church, and the kids (who were spending the night, the better to be there to leave at 6 a.m. Sunday) were just getting started. I did NOT envy those who were staying with them!

Speaking of the chaperones, one of them told me that Anna Marie nearly left several days' worth of clothes at the church. I had packed her outfits in Ziploc bags, so that all she had to do was pull one out each day. Sherilynn said as the kids were loading on the bus, she found several of the bags in the room where they'd slept.

"Whose are these?" she'd ask.

"Those are mine," Anna Marie would answer.

This went on about three times, and finally Anna Marie admitted, "I'd have gotten out there and not had any clothes to wear!"

Indeed.

They're coming home tomorrow, and then she and Jason are leaving Friday for South Carolina. It's like a two-week vacation from being a mom, except for the part of being a mom where I worry whether she's eating her vegetables and putting on her sunscreen.

Guess that'll be Jason's department next week.

Monday, my "actual" day off, was spent (of course) helping Jason do some prep work at the auction.

Of COURSE it was. And next week, while he's gone, I have to be "him" at the auction again. Like I am every year. And like he NEVER is for me, at my job. Hmph.

I hope that y'all had a more "relaxing" weekend than I did, and I promise to regale you with stories of camp, once I get my kid to stop traveling long enough to hear them myself!